The amazing and surprising effect of loving your child

How the love for your child can influence in many unexpected ways

• Hey Tim! What are you having for lunch?
• Dude! My mother makes the best lunches ever! I have two sandwiches, one with tuna, and another one with PB and jam.
• Really? Awesome man! My mother never gives me sweat things to school. You’re mother rocks. You rock dude!

Tim likes when he is praised by his friends. He is very proud of his mother and thankful that because of her, he is so popular.

Like every day, school ends and Tim goes home. He has been doing this for the last year. Tim is 11 years old and he has earned going alone to and from school. Now he is big enough! He is on the bus with his friend Mark. They live close to one another and they are friends forever.

• Hey honey! Welcome home! How was school? I just made lunch.
• Awesome mom! Thank you! Sais Jimmy, leaving his backpack on the floor and running towards the kitchen. The school was great! I got another “A” in french.
• That is wonderful! I am soo proud of you love!
• Thank you, mom!
• We should celebrate! There is another piece of cake in the fridge. Do you want it?
• Yes, of course!

Like always after lunch there is homework and after that going outside with his friends. Tim loves running around inventing all sorts of stories. Today he is Maui and he is saving Ariel from the awful claws of the big bad wolf. You see, he got the ability to breathe underwater from Tempest!

Very intriguing story! Spoiler alert, she gets saved by her mother calling her home. It seems she has homework.

The sun is up. A new day unfolds at Tims’ feet. He brushes his teeth, gets his clothes on, grabs his lunch box, and leaves smiling towards the bus.

• Have fun, Timmy! I love you!
• I love you too, mom!

Today, you see, is a special day! Today Tim is not coming home because his grampa is taking him from school and to the park.

• I will play on the pirate ship! I will explore the world again on the big snake! OMG! Cotton candy! Yeees! It’s gonna be awesome! Jimmy thinks to himself.

And that indeed happened. His grandpa took him on a spectacular adventure. Timmy battled giant flying fish from the ship and crashed into an iceberg. There he befriended a penguin that got him to the desert where he rode a giant snake all the way to the treasure … the cotton candy!

In the afternoon his parents came to pick him up.

• How was Tim today? Asks Tim’s mother
• Greate dear! He had a lot of fun in the park. Came home he ait all of his food and got to do his homework! Now I think he is playing in the other room. Says the grandmother.
• Timmy let's go home, dear!

Timmy runs towards his parents and gives them a big hug!

• I heard you had fun! And ate all your food. Awesome, Tim!
• Thank you, dad! It was very good. You know grama’ make awesome food, right?
• Ow, stop it, Tim! You are too kind.
• Love you grama’!

Another morning comes. Tim wakes up agitated! He has an exam today! Life is hard in college. He eats his breakfast, gets ready, and leaves for the exam.

• Man, that was easy! Soo much stress for nothing. Man, how did you do?

Tim asks Mark. You see, Mark joined him in the same college. They still remained friends. One of those friendships that are lifelong.

• Yeah, man, soo easy!
• We should celebrate. I’m gonna leave the stuff and meet you at McDonald's.
• Ok, dude. See you there!

Tim leaves his backpack and leaves in a hurry. Meets up with Mark outside of the restaurant.

• Man, what about Gyna? Isn’t she coming?

Tim gets a little sad when asked about Gyna.

• No man! We have just broken up!
• Sorry, dude! I didn’t know.
• It’s ok. My mother just sent me the best cake ever. it has chocolate and strawberries. It’s the best, I tell you!
• Sounds great. I will assemble the gang and meet up at your house. You bring the cake we bring the beer.
• Sounds like a plan!

Another morning comes. Tim wakes up looking through an awesome view of streets covered with snow. Pure white reflects the lights of the morning sun.

• So this is why it’s called Sunday! thinks Tim and laughs a bit.

He just got a promotion at work and he is celebrating with Mark and a few friends.

• So, where you wanna do this, Tim?
• Man, it is special, so we will be going to a special place. Do you know that french restaurant on the main street?
• Oh, God? Seriously? Awesome! That thing has the best food in the city!
• Indeed it does.

Getting there was fast. They found a parking space easily enough! Go to the table and a few moments later the table was filled with Coq-au-vin, Cassoulet and foie grass, and all sorts of other very interesting dishes.

• Man, I am soo full!
• Me too. But Mark, this is a celebration. There is always room for dessert.
• I don’t know man. I am full! And, we are not really small, you know?
• What do you mean?
• C’mon dude, when was the last time you tied your shoes standing?
• What? Why would I want that? I have chairs and stuff. Man, why are you doing this now? Let’s celebrate!
• That is what you are doing man. Every good thing that happens and every bad thing as well. Practically all of the things that happen, you “celebrate” them with a meal.
• What? No, I don’t!
• Tim, you are my friend. I’ve known you since forever! Believe me, I want you to be happy, but healthy as well. You need to find a better way to celebrate.
• You know what, Mark, my friend, to hell with you and your moral stuff. I’m going home.

Well that escalated quickly, didn’t it?

You see, when we grow up we crave the attention of our parents. So we repeat whatever makes them happy. We do that because their happiness confirms that we will be safe and we will be loved.

A very common way to show happiness to your child, the way that my parents showed me, love, was by making me food and praising me for eating it.

I got into my 30s and I realized that I associate good moments with something good to eat. I tell myself “You deserve this food because you’ve earned it”, I never say “You deserve this hike you’ve earned it”. At least not yet!

The same goes for bad moments. I comfort myself by eating something sweet.

See what makes you feel comfortable and loved and check to see if it helps you fully. It might be a little bad for you.

If you liked this story, you might be interested in a very interesting view of what happens after death.

If you want to read what important advice I received from a very interesting chat with a friend

Or maybe you want to fight fear and don’t know how

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