The Age You Stop Being Young

And the day you are officially old

According to the experts at the Economic & Social Research Council, we stop being young at 35 and start getting old at 58. Just numbers.

The inevitability of ageing is something we should all embrace — there is only one alternative to getting older.

We all get older on the outside, but it’s not the same on the inside. I still feel young — you know, in my head. I have the same naïve outlook on life as I did when I was 17. There is only one gauge for the speed you age.

No matter how many times you have orbited the sun, no matter what you see when you look in the mirror, you stop being young when nothing makes you say “wow” anymore.

Wow

It’s a natural exclamation, like aha, oh, and ouch. There is no thought that goes into it, it just comes out. And this is the truth. You may be getting old if:

• If you never say “wow” when you see an eagle soar.
• If you never say “wow” when you hear “Hallelujah” — I love the Andrea Bocelli version.
• If you never say “wow” when you inhale the smell of your mother when you bury your head in her clothes.
• If you never say “wow” when you taste an authentic Italian pizza, a spicy Thai curry, or blackberries plucked in the wild.
• If you never say “wow” when you go to bed and cosy into freshly laundered sheets.

If you never say “wow” — that’s the day you stop being young.

Today, we see ageing as bad

Our TV, tablets and phones give us an extraordinarily tinted view of the world. Where once we were the average of our five closest friends, we are now influenced by glossy people and their pursuit of perfection.

We have become normalised to people waking up, jumping out of bed without a hair out of place, and ready for anything. They bombard us with advertising, telling us we need to do battle with age.

We have to conform to plastic norms. But that isn’t normal. It’s all manufactured nonsense.

Do you want to grow old gracefully or disgracefully?

Who gets to middle age and wants to queue to get into a nightclub? What on earth possesses people to consider a mid-life crisis a rite of passage?

Give me a glass of wine and a book — thank you very much. Invite me round to your house to do a puzzle or watch a film — I’ll be there. Delight me with a nice dinner — I’ll give you clever conversation. I want to be happy, healthy, and interested.

We can be unhappy or fall ill at any age — that doesn’t make us old. The day we are officially old is the day we stop being interested.

My mum was the youngest octogenarian I know. It didn’t matter if I’d only seen her the day before, she wanted to know what was going on in my life.

She asked questions:

• How is Jo getting on at work?
• What’s happening with my grandkids?
• What have you been writing about?
• How did you get on at the gym?

She would even ask what I had for breakfast.

My mum was interested in me and my world. She never stopped being interested in any of her family, friends or neighbours.

You are officially old when you stop being interested.

• When you give up reading.
• When you stop watching your favourite team.
• When you stop looking out your window.
• When you can’t be bothered with the world.
• When you ignore a ringing phone.

If you have given up on being interested, you are officially old.

Staying young is a mindset. You have to be interested. Say ‘yes’ to new opportunities. Show an interest. Give people your best smile and laugh along with them.

Stay inquisitive. Try new tastes like chilli chocolate or a vegan sausage roll. Engage with people’s stories. Lean over and touch the hand of a loved one. Ponder over a crossword clue and don’t give up — cheat if you have to.

Set a time and a date to go places you have never been. Meet an old friend for a coffee. Ask people what was the best book they read last year, then buy the book for yourself.

Pick a film at random and start watching — it might be brilliant, and if not, try another. Do the same with an article here and if you find something you like, take a deep dive into everything the author has written. If it’s good, tell them.

Stay interested — for there is only one alternative.

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