The Adventures of the Vegetable Stalker: Preface

Summary

The website content introduces "The Adventures of the Vegetable Stalker: Preface," a narrative about a secret war initiated by sentient vegetables against humanity, with the protagonist Veggie Head Stalker playing a crucial role in humanity's survival.

Abstract

"The Adventures of the Vegetable Stalker: Preface" sets the stage for a fictional account of a decades-long covert conflict orchestrated by a collective of invasive, genetically modified vegetable species known as "THEY." These sentient vegetables have been plotting to dominate the world after surviving as the byproduct of biological experiments. The story is presented through a mix of narratives, original verse, and purportedly factual news stories from the Veggie News Network (VNN). The author emphasizes the authenticity of the tale, despite potential accusations of bias or historical revisionism. The protagonist, Veggie Head Stalker, is humanity's savior, capable of distinguishing the hostile vegetable species from natural ones, ensuring human survival against the vegetable threat. The narrative begins with the origins of the conflict and leads into "Chapter I, The Early Years."

Opinions

The author suggests that there may be skepticism about the gravity of the vegetable threat, implying that some may have underestimated the danger.
Accusations are anticipated from both sides of the conflict, with some potentially accusing the author of obscuring the truth, while others might claim the story is an attempt to rewrite history.
The author asserts the veracity of the narrative, despite acknowledging that the news media may have altered or fabricated parts of the story to fit their agenda.
There is a clear reverence for Veggie Head Stalker, portraying him as the key figure in humanity's victory and the reason readers are able to engage with the story.
The narrative implies a critique of genetic modification and biological experimentation, suggesting these practices have contributed to the creation of the invasive species known as "THEY."
The author expresses a level of distrust towards the media, particularly in their representation of the events and the accuracy of the information disseminated to the public.

It was a war over 80 years in the making. THEY (This Harvest Eats You) watched us fight two world-wars, dozens of conflicts and a couple of police actions before THEY began their secret war to take over the world and destroy the human race. Even after THEY invaded there were those who didn’t believe we were actually in danger. Of course, THEY had been planning it covertly since their accidental arrival here on Earth. I’ve tried to tell the story in such a way as to portray both sides of the story but I am sure there are those on both sides who will accuse me of hoeing dirt over the roots of the story in the hope that no one might know the truth. Others will accuse me of trying to rewrite history. I only hope I am able to impress upon you, that what I have recorded on these pages is indeed the truth, the naked truth with all its ugly roots exposed. I’ve presented the story of Veggie Head Stalker and his battle against the invaders in such a way as to allow you to read the text of the news stories in quotes along with my own narrative and the original verse which was written for mass consumption. While the network attributed all the verse to me that wasn’t always the case. Sometimes they altered my work. Other times they simply made things up to suit their agenda. It was at great personal expense and often with lots of resistance, that I managed to locate what I believe to be the actual texts as were read by the newscasters of VNN, the Veggie News Network, a small independent news organization that attempted to green wash Veggie’s story to launch itself into national and international media markets. Could it have been altered? There is that chance but my narrative is there to correct anything that isn’t factual. Where did THEY come from? In the beginning, THEY were simply the residue of biological experiments — cross-breeding mostly — that were tossed out, thrown into garbage cans and hauled to a landfill or compost pile somewhere. Somehow THEY managed to survive, infiltrate, and breed with native species all over the world. Later, the waste from DNA experiments and genetically modified plant species would join their cause.

Over time there have been many experiments gone awry. As each failed to produce the desired results, THEY would be quick to recruit these new species and assimilate them into their fold. By the time forty years had passed, THEY had managed to integrate themselves into the natural world but instead of becoming a part of the nature world, THEY decided to become a collective of invasive species on a quest to rule the world while ignoring the fact that THEY are at the bottom of the natural food chain. While most humans can’t tell a natural vegetable from any of the thousands of species of THEY, Veggie Head Stalker, being of the same plant genus, tribe and superorder, could recognize them every time. Were it not for my friend Veggie none of you would be alive to read this today. In another forty years the story would begin with Chapter I, The Early Years.