The Advantages of Self-Criticism
When is it okay to criticize yourself?
All of my articles have the same takeaway. My mission is to promote self-love, growth, and positivity. This may give the impression that I would never promote self-criticism.
But I do.
Self-criticism has a negative reputation to it. Simply put, this term means evaluating yourself. Often times it’s associated with a negative personality trait, or as being the trait, when it’s not.
As with any criticism, there’s a fine line on when it goes too far. While it’s human nature to find faults in ourselves, there are many situations where self-criticism is a no-go. Some of these include:
- Comparing yourself to others.
- Nitpicking your talents.
- Blatantly judging yourself.
- Blaming the past for present decisions.
All these points serve to prove that you’re not good enough. If we want to morph our future into something new, we must first let go of our pasts and set our eyes on our dreams.
“We do not get to choose how we start out in life. We do not get to choose the day we are born or the family we are born into, what we are named at birth, what country we are born in, and we do not get to choose our ancestry. All these things are predetermined by a higher power. By the time you are old enough to start making decisions for yourself, a lot of things in your life are already in place. It’s important, therefore, that you focus on the future, the only thing that you can change.”― Idowu Koyenikan, Wealth for All: Living a Life of Success at the Edge of Your Ability
Personal Development
There are many ways we can use self-criticism for personal development. As humans, we evolve ourselves to be a more successful, happier, and inventive species. There’s a thrill of life that causes us to desire things beyond our current grasp.
When we taste just a drop of possibility, we starve for more. There’s no shame in this simple fact. It’s human and natural, it’s what we strive for.
With a vision of the future, something needs to change. We would already have what we want if this wasn’t the case.
This is where the self-criticism comes in handy.
Ask yourself a series of productive questions. By productive, I mean ones that have a plausible solution that you can get to.
What step can I take to increase my patience? How can I become a more understanding person? What kind of books will increase my knowledge of this?
Never ask questions that bring you down. For example, asking why you’re not good at something, why you don’t have enough friends, or why you’re not smart enough will never get you anywhere.
Ask the questions that you can answer logically and reasonably. This is how you’ll succeed in your given goal.
At the same time, you must make sure your intentions are set. Why are you wanting to improve this specific situation? Is it for monetary, professional, or personal gain? If so, you need to set that forth and make it clear to yourself. Putting up that intention will help stay on track later down the road.
“There is only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving, and that’s your own self.”― Aldous Huxley
Discovering Your True Potential
One of the issues with self-criticism is that people take it too far. They take it to the point of hurting themselves. When we “judge” ourselves, we should be doing it in a way to move us closer to the next milestone.
For me, there are many goals I hope to achieve. Goals that I know I will achieve. How do I know? Because we all have this hidden potential that we hide beneath layers of uncertainty.
One of my goals is to be a bestselling author. I use self-criticism to find what I lack to move forward. I don’t use it to belittle myself, as I understand that improvement takes time. I acknowledge that I don’t spend as much time as I should writing novels, that I should broaden my vocabulary and that I need to have more life experience.
Notice how all of these criticisms have a clear solution. These respective solutions are what we should focus on, not the judgment itself.
Note that none of these are harsh judgments. They can’t derail or bring me down. Nothing against my own writing skills, as that comes with practice.
It also must be said, the beautiful fact about creativity is that it isn’t set in stone. The novel idea I have today can be edited and rewritten a month from now.
We must subtract the negativity from self-criticism. I noticed that the harsher I was at putting myself down about my writing skills, the more I strayed from my dream of being an author. If we simply identify issues without solutions for improvement, we get nothing but dispirited.
We need to take our criticisms and do something about them. If all we do is complain about ourselves, that’s all we’re ever going to do. We need to take charge and do something about it. Do you want to be different? Do something differently.
Start small and work your way there.
“The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.”― Carl R. Rogers, On Becoming a Person: A Therapist’s View on Psychotherapy
Dreams Become Reality
As with any change, there will be resistance. People like to stay stagnate. The world likes to stay the same. Only through many, many years does society even change. It’s our human nature.
So when you’re met with doubt and wishful thinking, tell yourself that you’re already much further than you used to be.
Why? Because you are. Even deciding to begin trying is something worth celebrating.
When you begin to see those little differences in your life, you know that you’re on the right track. Maybe it’s just the feeling of happiness in your chest, or the excitement to start a new project. It’s something, and that’s enough.
Cease harsh judgments on yourself and instead produce a plan to get where you want to go. You’ll notice something new about yourself.
You’ll begin to accept yourself and your abilities.
Even if you think there’s a lot of improvement that needs to get done, you’ll accept what you have right now. You’ll take what you can do and use it to get better.
Then, you will get better. You’ll reach your goals because you aren’t so focused on how terrible you are at what you do. You’ll see that you stand a chance. It’s wonderful how high you can jump when you’re not weighed down by your own insecurity.
Self-criticism can be used to better ourselves and grow. Instead of focusing on the things we don’t do right, focus on the things we can do better.
Lingering on the negatives causes a shadow of doubt to cloud our vision.
Deciding to ask those productive questions and persevere will open the horizon to new possibilities.
It’s time to take charge. Self-criticism will help light the way.
“Always dream and shoot higher than you know you can do. Do not bother just to be better than your contemporaries or predecessors. Try to be better than yourself.” ― William Faulkner
