The Act Of Forgiveness: Where The Journey Begins

The first article in a series exploring the topic of forgiveness.

There’s always a lot of talk in the self-help circles about forgiveness. It’s easy to dismiss this with the roll of your eyes. Yet, forgiveness is the foundation for a life well lived.

Throughout my journey of self-discovery, I have learnt that love, healing, and even miracles rarely show up without a solid understanding of, and devotion to, forgiveness.

If you trace the concept of forgiveness back in time, you will find yourself in the midst of Divine or spiritual forgiveness. I’m no religious expert, but I know enough about Christianity to confidently state that asking God for forgiveness is a way to atone for your sins, repent and promise to obey the scriptures.

Beware: This does not mean that you can do bad things, ask for forgiveness, and then just go out and do more bad things. No, no, no. It doesn’t work that way.

Disclaimer: To forgive does not excuse unacceptable behaviour. This article is not about condoning inappropriate, illegal or violent actions. It’s about exploring how, as an individual, you can find inner peace and a connection to your truth.

Forgiveness is the deep, intentional and conscious act of letting go.

The moment you begin to let go of anger, resentment, any sense of injustice, and rumination, you free yourself. Then you naturally create space for forgiveness to exist in your life, in your being.

Definition

The concept of forgiveness pertains not only to divine forgiveness, but also to extending that out to others, and to the self.

Many scholars advise that the journey to forgiveness begins with forgiving others before you contemplate self-forgiveness. I would concur with this.

Working on yourself is so much easier once you can let go off the anger and resentment towards another. Then you can begin your healing journey and forgive yourself.

Forgiveness can be an action, where you make a conscious thought about it. It can be expressed as an emotion. Often it is a process that unfolds over a period of time.

In his work Forgiveness and Flourishing: Research and Education Loren Toussaint states that “forgiveness is a multidimensional construct …… commonly defined as the replacement of negative thoughts, feelings and motivations.”

Step 1 — Understand the concept

Have you ever met someone who is so filled with hatred towards another that it is literally eating them alive? They find no peace within, and a contented life eludes them.

Sure, they’ve been hurt. They expect the other person to feel enormous guilt and regret.

However, their inability to forgive is only harming them. The other person (the one who potentially hurt them) has moved on and is quite possibly out there enjoying life.

To understand forgiveness is to shift your mindset.

What do you choose? To go through life riddled with anger and resentment? Or to recognize you must change your mind and surrender to the process, to the act of forgiveness?

For the most part, I have been forgiving of others.

Occasionally I get stuck on resentment and then I ruminate. It feels like the needle has hit a groove on the record and can’t move on. It just keeps going round, and round, and round.

Self-forgiveness has possibly been one of the biggest lessons of my life.

The seminal text A Course In Miracles guides you through the important journey of forgiveness and love.

This text teaches that there is only love. Nothing else exists.

“To forgive is merely to remember only the loving thoughts you gave in the past, and those that were given you. All the rest must be forgotten” ~ A Course In Miracles, Original Edition Text, Pocket Edition, Chapter 17.

Change your perception.

As you venture into the unknown, and often tricky, fields of forgiveness be prepared for a long journey ahead. It begins when you accept your feelings, and make a conscious decision to forgive. This allows you to step into a new world of freedom and love.

It won’t be easy. But it is such a relief and release once you surrender to the process. If you find yourself struggling, please reach out to a coach for support.

Be your best you every day.

Silva x

P.S. This is the first article in a series that I am currently writing about The Act Of Forgiveness. It’s a huge topic for sure. I’m writing about it as part of my journey. Perhaps you find some benefit from it too. Let me know if you do.