SERIAL FICTION
The Absurdity of ‘What Ifs’
The Man Who Refused to Pass Away, a Novel (15)
Chapter 15: The Absurdity of ‘What Ifs’
We occasionally found ourselves entangled in deeper conversations, such as one late evening after watching the final two episodes of a series where the characters, in various ways, were compelled to confront events from their past and the complexities of their present, often against their will. Both of us had grown fond of the series, captivated by the challenges it presented to the characters. They were confronted with dilemmas and demands that wove an invisible web, leaving them feeling trapped and devoid of true freedom in their lives. One character, a large, overweight man, had an old, shaggy dog that incessantly barked and pulled at the leash during their daily walks. The man yelled and berated the dog endlessly. When not hurling curses at the animal, we could hear a dark and aggressive mumbling, as the man unleashed a torrent of expletives in the dog’s direction. “Stop it! — Come on! No, come here, you damn beast!” The man took several daily walks with the dog, living in close proximity to the animal and all the accompanying outbursts, irritation, and senseless shouting. I developed a strong impression that he had become dependent on these conflict-laden walks, for reasons I could hardly fathom, on the old, shaggy dog, and all that came with it.
Several characters in the series grappled with liberating themselves from the consequences of their actions, and for some, it appeared as if they were destined to spiral into despair. Their fates resembled insects ensnared in a spider’s web, struggling helplessly and thrashing about in the threads as they attempted to break free from the consequences of their past actions and present circumstances.
It was almost always people who complained and blamed others for the things they were dissatisfied with in their lives. Such people were seldom happy except for brief, unexpected moments. They couldn’t come to terms with what they had in their lives.
In later years, when my life’s circumstances brought me into the vicinity of such individuals, I became much more conscious of distancing myself from them. These people were never happy, except for brief, unexpected moments. They couldn’t come to terms with what they had in their lives. They complained and criticized, and some of them lived what I would call a miserable existence.
In recent times, when my life’s circumstances have brought me into the proximity of such individuals, I have become much more aware of the need to distance myself from such people.
We watched the episodes of the series together, and I noticed that Elsa’s reactions mirrored mine. We shared an understanding of what we were witnessing on the human plane.
We both agreed that continually complaining about others and critiquing their actions or way of being is both detrimental and negative for those who aim to live a morally upright and good life alongside others.
We seldom live in a complete vacuum, neither emotionally nor intellectually.
We sometimes struggle to accept what is, life as it currently stands.
We can often think of life, the existence of humans on Earth, as absurd, but what does that truly accomplish for us?
But we probably must learn to accept it if we are to hope for a life that occasionally experiences happiness.
But happiness cannot be the smallest or the grandest goal for humans. Rather, the goal for people should be to stand upright, to advocate for themselves and those closest to them, as individuals, as egos, and as fellow human beings.
It is a fact that we live here and now, and we live alongside some people who are dear to us.
That’s just how it is, and we must accept that we are where we are in life, in human existence on Earth.
We can choose how we want to relate to this.
Or we can fight and struggle while trapped in the web.
We can choose to let it go.
We can learn to accept that this is how it is.
Then we can try to address the things we see we can influence.
And then we must set aside the rest, for the time being.
New days and new opportunities always come for addressing what may seem locked and impossible at the moment.
People employ various strategies to alleviate the nearly permanent sense of dissatisfaction.
At some point in their lives, people must navigate the process of finding their modus vivendi.
We all must find our answer to “How?”
How should I live my life?
What should I strive to achieve?
What will I do for myself and for others?
Some search and find their way.
Some are fortunate and live their lives in the company of others who are good for them.
Synergies between people exist, and when they are nurtured and built upon, wonderful results emerge.
Other people strive for power. Money and power. And they reach their goals, but they fail to realize that they lose something essential in the process, on the journey toward their objective.
They become estranged from the ideals and values they once used as beacons and guiding stars in their youth.
As days evolved into weeks and weeks into months, Elsa and I fell into a familiar routine. Laughter, shared responsibilities, and the joys of parenthood marked our days. Yet beneath the surface, a wistful longing for the past lingered — a time when circumstances and we ourselves were different.
One evening, as we sat on our porch, sipping tea, Elsa’s gaze was drawn to the setting sun. Her words held a tinge of nostalgia. “At times, I wonder what it might have been like if we had known each other when we were younger.”
I turned to her, my response devoid of sentiment. “What do you mean?”
“I ponder,” she mused, “what might have occurred if we had crossed paths in our twenties or thirties, before life ushered us in different directions.”
I contemplated her words, recognizing her sentiment but not permitting it to stir my emotions. “It is a curious thought. However, we are unable to alter the past. We must simply appreciate the journey that has brought us together.”
Elsa nodded, her gaze unwavering as she met my eyes. “I concur. I am grateful for the path that led us to each other. Yet, there are moments when I entertain thoughts of how it might have unfolded differently.”
I offered a reassuring squeeze of her hand. “Elsa, don’t think about it. I promise you, I won’t leave you. I will not pass away. Not for a very long time.”
She nodded again, met my eyes, a serious look.
“Elsa, it is not unusual to ponder ‘what ifs’ from time to time. But it is essential to remember that we are here now, and the present holds the utmost significance.”
Elsa rested her head against my shoulder, discovering solace in our proximity. “You are correct. I prefer not to dwell on the past. I wish to cherish the present and anticipate our future together.”
In our companionable silence, I contemplated Elsa’s musings. What if we had known each other back then? But such speculation served no purpose; our paths had converged when we required each other the most.
“We crossed paths when destiny decreed it,” I reflected, voicing the notion that had taken root in my thoughts. “Perhaps our separate journeys were intended to culminate in this moment.”
Elsa gazed up at me, her interest evident in her eyes. “What do you mean?”
“I propose,” I articulated, “that life often leads us on unforeseen detours, guiding us toward valuable insights. Perhaps we required those experiences to mature into the individuals we have become.”
She pondered my words, her gaze softening. “You are correct. Our histories have molded us, and they have brought us to this point — to this moment, to this love.”
“Yes,” I agreed, “and I would not alter a single detail. Our experiences, with their highs and lows, have directed us to each other, and that is something to celebrate.”
A faint smile graced Elsa’s lips, and she leaned in for a gentle kiss. “You have an exceptional gift for placing things into perspective,” she remarked, her tone filled with fondness.
We sat there, enshrouded in each other’s warmth, content in the understanding that our love had withstood life’s trials and tribulations. Past relationships had imparted valuable lessons regarding communication, concession, and resilience, fortifying our current connection.