The 7 Habits of Highly Ineffective People Who are Me

Summary

The article "The 7 Habits of Highly Ineffective People Who are Me" discusses the author's personal struggle with unproductive habits that hinder their effectiveness and success.

Abstract

The author of the article reflects on their own ineffective habits, contrasting with the typical self-help narrative that promotes productivity and success. These habits include chronic procrastination, lack of balance, fear avoidance, conflict aversion, poor self-care, social withdrawal, and self-criticism. The author aims to connect with readers who share these tendencies, offering a non-judgmental perspective and suggesting that recognizing these habits is the first step towards personal improvement.

Opinions

The author feels a sense of shame when reading about the success of others, which is exacerbated by their own unproductive habits.
They acknowledge a significant procrastination issue, particularly with emails and reading, indicating an avoidance of follow-through.
The author admits to having no sense of balance, becoming obsessively focused on one area while neglecting others, including basic hygiene and chores.
They express a deep fear of driving, which they avoid despite understanding the importance of confronting fears.
The author identifies as a conflict avoider, likening themselves to a fearful David in the face of Goliath, which they recognize as an unhelpful trait.
Basic self-care tasks are viewed as burdensome, yet the author concedes that these activities lead to feeling better and are part of a positive cycle.
Social interactions, both online and in-person, are actively avoided, leading to increased isolation.
The author is self-critical about their habits but also self-aware, recognizing the need for personal growth and encouraging readers to join them in this journey without shame.

Relatable but terrible tendencies

You’ve probably read plenty of articles detailing how to be a more productive and successful person in today’s world.

I don’t know about you, but the main thing these articles make me feel is shame. I am not inspired when I read about how great other people are doing. Most of the time, it makes me judge myself even more than I already do.

My goal here is to highlight some of my deficiencies instead. Maybe if you relate to any of these 7 habits, this will be a nudge in a non-shameful way. We’re all on this struggle-bus together.

The 7 Habits

Putting everything off, all the time. This one is huge for me. You probably don’t want to know how many unread emails I have on my phone right now. But, in case you do — it’s 26,081. I have avoided merely checking in on an email or deleting it over twenty-six thousand times.

And I don’t just procrastinate on things I don’t want to do. I also have 14 library books checked out, for example, because I love to read and am endlessly interested in books, but never push myself to actually follow through and read them. I just find another one to read and continue to renew my stack.

Having no sense of balance. I tend to be 100% about one thing at any given time. Everything else just falls away completely, leading me to ignore things like basic hygiene or regular chores. I do this with passions as well as in my school or work life.

I think it’s because I can’t simply live in the present and allow my thoughts to go where they will. I must keep going to be constantly distracted, and while I’m no expert, I don’t think that’s healthy.

Avoiding what scares me the most. For me, this is driving. I have an intense phobia of it, and as such, I avoid it at all costs. They say you’re supposed to face your fears . . . but who are “they,” anyway? They must not know how intense my anxiety is or that you can die or kill other people behind the wheel.

But I know that driving is a life skill that I should be working on. Like any other fear, it only gets worse the more I avoid it.

Backing down from any and every conflict. If me versus conflict were a David and Goliath situation, this David would be curled into a ball, crying about how mean Goliath is. As you might imagine, this does not serve me well. Unless being a doormat is something to aspire to.

Neglecting to take care of myself. I’ve grown to really hate basic tasks like showering, brushing my teeth, washing my face, and getting dressed. It just seems like so much work. And how could it be worth it?

Spoiler alert: self-care makes you feel better. And feeling better makes you more likely to take care of yourself. It’s the opposite of a vicious circle.

Withdrawing from almost all social opportunities. I’m shy by nature, but I’m also notorious for avoiding even online communication. Facebook? Don’t know her. Forget real-life social interactions, regardless of global pandemics.

I live on an island I sailed to of my own volition, and it makes everything worse.

Being hard on myself. Oops, I’m doing this one right now. Because at the end of the day, yes, I have some bad habits, but I also recognize them and see how I’m restricting my own life. I’m working on them.

I hope that if any of these highly ineffective habits resonated with you, you’re able to work on them, too. There’s no shame in being a work in progress.