RELATIONSHIPS

The 6 Personality Types You Should Avoid

… and limit your time around them to the minimum

Each of us has encountered such people at one time or another. Colleagues who start and end their day with complaints, or acquaintances who can find cons even in the most positive situation. This type of character is called “toxic” because these people have a strong negative impact on the emotional state of others. So, let’s see how to recognize such toxic personalities and not let them bring you down.

Keep it cool — you don’t have to like everyone nor be liked by everyone

The important thing is that you understand that no one on our planet can like everyone. Recognizing this fact is the first step in dealing with toxic people in a healthy way.

Those who always focus on problems rather than solutions destroy the ideas and goals of those around them and deliberately put them in a state of self-pity. In our private life, we can choose our contacts, but unfortunately, this is not always possible in our professional life. Despite the dislike for some of your colleagues, you must find a way to get along with such people and work together. That is how it goes:

• Setting Boundaries: You are not obligated to listen to someone with a negative attitude. Set boundaries and put some distance between you and them. If you have to work with a toxic person, try to keep contact as brief as possible.
• Avoid unnecessary conflicts: Don’t start a conflict every time you hear something negative coming your way. Try to ignore negative comments and don’t take any criticism personally. I know it’s not easy. I know that criticism and insults affect people in a much more negative way than praise and compliments. However, you should try to control your emotions. Before responding to criticism, take some deep breaths. The brief respite relaxes and softens the initial anger.
• Don’t let yourself be influenced: Unfortunately, some people are so used to seeing the negative that they no longer have room for the positive. Even brief contact with toxic people can not only exhaust you emotionally but also infect you with a negative perspective on life. Thus, the negativity reproduces itself, creating dissatisfaction and dulling υοθρ mind. Negative people often behave irrationally and whine about every little thing. When you focus on someone else’s problems, you lose focus on your own goals. Don’t waste your precious time and try not to get emotionally involved in others’ problems. Everyone is responsible for their own life.
• Establish your support team: Connect with positive friends, acquaintances, and colleagues. Try to analyze exactly when you need emotional support. If the emotions overwhelm you, you can calmly discuss the situation with your confidant and recharge your batteries.
• Stay positive: Your happiness and well-being are too valuable to be influenced by negative opinions or inappropriate comments. Stay positive and minimize exposure to toxic people. If you exude a positive attitude and confidence, your negative counterpart will be uncomfortable and stop whining. Your mind is a powerful thing! And by the way, being positive is worth it! Because positive people are not only happier but also more successful.

How to recognize toxic people

There are many types of toxic people but I will limit my reference to the most common ones.

1. The Royal Highness of Scandals

Some people already react to small things with overdramatic tantrums and like to provoke scandals. Such people also like to be the center of everyone’s attention and usually dominate every conversation. They always know everything better than anyone else, like to teach other people, gossip a lot and play their fellow human beings off against each other.

— What you must do: Don’t get caught up in other people’s scandals and don’t arrange your own. Try not to respond with swear words or aggressive behavior to your partner’s outbursts of anger and unfair games. Stay calm, smother the looming conflict with your determination and coolness. Being calm is the best antidote to someone else’s outbursts of anger. If your counterpart is gossiping about another colleague, you can cut him off using the following sentence:

“Why are you telling me this about X.? I would like to ask you to discuss this with him/her directly.”

2. People who are unhappy with everything

Some people just find it impossible to be happy. They always find something that does not suit them and clearly show their dissatisfaction. Such personalities often run with frustrated expressions on their faces, are uncompromising and uncooperative. Rarely, a dissatisfied character can also show themselves in a withdrawal behavior. In this case, the person avoids contact and isolates themselves.

— What you must do: If your colleague has always had a very negative and dissatisfied character, you should accept this fact. You won’t be able to change this person no matter what you do. Is your colleague having another bad day and your communication is reaching its limits? Then keep your distance. When the complainer does something good, praise him:

“I am very happy that you did this for me. Thank you so much!”

The praise makes his dismissive behavior less common. However, if a colleague has always been a happy person and has suddenly changed in a negative direction, you should seek a one-to-one conversation with them and offer your support. Because there is always a good reason for a sudden behavior change.

3. The pessimist

“Forget it! It probably won’t work!” — Such sentences are often heard from pessimistic people who not only make their own life difficult, but also yours. All plans and projects are immediately dismissed as unsuccessful. They badmouth everything and always know in advance that something isn’t going to work out.

What you must do: Try to avoid contact with those people who make fun of your dreams and goals. Such personalities lower your potential and slowly, but surely, quench your inner flame with their caustic comments and low expectations. It’s important not to take a pessimist’s arguments personally or take their criticism as an attack. A simple but very effective method is to ask them a why question:

“Why do you think I won’t make it?”

In such moments, it becomes clear that the pessimist is often unfamiliar with the topic.

4. The manipulator

Toxic people also include the so-called manipulators. These people like to express their opinions, mostly negative ones, and try to control your thoughts through their negativity.

— What you must do: It’s actually quite easy to spot manipulators. If you observe the behavior of such personalities, you will find that they are often very focused on themselves and use those around them for their personal benefit. Try to keep communication with a manipulative person neutral and professional. A charming smile and a friendly “everyone is entitled to their own opinion” can work wonders. Manipulative people often want to inspire sympathy and trust. Therefore, it is important to set boundaries and say “no” once in a while.

5. Demanding person who does not forgive mistakes

Do you also know people who constantly believe that they are doing everything right and expect the same from their fellow human beings? If so, caution is advised. Such people are constantly criticizing and never recognizing your positive qualities.

— What you must do: You should reduce contact with “error-free” people as much as possible. If this is not possible due to your professional relationship, then it is always advisable to ask a counter-question. If a colleague continues to complain about your mistakes, ask them politely if they can help you avoid them in the future.

6. The inner critic

You certainly didn’t expect this, but the worst toxic person is often in your head — your inner critic. He demotivates you, always criticizes, causes self-doubt and doesn’t trust you! You should definitely chase this curmudgeon away!

— What you must do: Merciless self-criticism often leads to a lack of happiness, general dissatisfaction with yourself and prevents you from achieving your goals. All you really need is the courage to be yourself. Because your value lies in who you are and not who you aren’t. Be aware of your skills and abilities. Journaling is a good way to reflect on your accomplishments and reduce self-doubt.

Final thoughts

When people try to destroy your dreams, predict your problems or criticize you, just remember — they are not talking about you, they are talking about themselves. Everything they say is caused by their own worries, problems, and insecurities. Try to ignore other people’s negativity and focus on your own life.

If you suffer from negative thoughts (internal criticism), try to dispel any doubts and bad thoughts about yourself for at least a day and you will quickly notice how your life changes for the better. Think positive!

Thank you for reading!