The 4 Best Sex Tips No One Tells You

that you really NEED to know.

I’m on a mission to start having the best sex of my life. Now that I’m in my thirties I want to leave the mediocre Sex-escapades in the past with twenties, where they belong. Sex is no longer this thing I do for anyone else but myself. I’m not in a relationship and don’t plan on being one for a very long time.

This means that if I want to get laid, I’m doing it casually. My roster is pretty stacked with partners who are the kind of men and women that not only aren’t looking for anything serious but also don’t mind that I’m seeing other people. Most of them are also seeing other people.

To be quite honest, my sex life is pretty damn awesome at the moment, but it hasn’t always been that way. There were times when I felt like I had no idea what I wanted or even what I was doing. My lack of knowledge about my own body as well as my partners lead me on a journey to find out everything I could about how to have great sex.

I’ve scoured the internet, read books, listened to podcasts, and even chatted with a sex coach about how to have great sex. Along the way, I kept hearing the same tips over and over again. Don’t skip the foreplay. Use lots of lube. Introduce toys. If you’ve ever picked up a women’s magazine since the early 1990s or watched a single episode of Sex and the City, you’ve heard all the usual tips before too. But on my journey of sexual enlightenment, there were a few tips that I had never heard before.

1. Study Up

One thing I have always found that people resist is the idea that you need to learn how to be good at having sex. Like any skill, while you might be good at it naturally, there are always things you could be improving. In the way, writers study the craft of writing and painters study different techniques, those of us who want to keep having better and better sex need to keep honing our skills.

Whether it’s reading articles with tips and advice, or even watching different types of porn, we should always be exploring our sexuality and the way we find physical pleasure. There are a ton of ways to learn more about sex, but the idea that we would study sex always seemed weird to me. Feel awkward no more because I am not only giving you permission but telling you to go and research every sexual thing your little heart desires. There is no downside to being more informed about the act of getting it on.

2. You Should Be Mutually Masturbation

When I brought up mutual masturbation to my last long-time sex partner, he laughed, telling me we couldn’t do it because it would be awkward. He saw masturbation as something you did alone when you couldn’t have sex with a partner, but I saw it as a different type of foreplay we could do together. Yet, even though he was resistant, it was something that stuck with me.

The idea of mutual masturbation nagged me until I was with someone who was willing to try it with me. Laying next to him, listening as he masturbated while also touching myself was such a turn-on. I came rather quickly, wet with the anticipation of finally trying out another fantasy. While he didn’t finish, and we ended up having sex, afterward he told me how the idea seemed different but ended up being really hot.

Mutual masturbation is really just another kind of foreplay that can be added into your sexual lineup to spice things up again. If the idea is weird to you I can promise you it is actually a lot of fucking fun.

3. Have Sex in Weird Places

A lot of people think sex is better left in the bedroom, but I disagree. I used to be the kind of girl who thought having sex in a weird place meant doing it on the couch instead of the bedroom. Once upon a time, I was pretty vanilla. Now, I’m down to get dirty just about anywhere.

It isn’t that I want to be watched or caught, but the idea of having sex in new places is exciting and feels a little dangerous. Start out with a few baby steps if you feel like this is out of your comfort zone. For me, this means doing the deed on the kitchen table and fucking on top of the washing machine. Eventually, it turned into sex in the woods when no one was around and fucking in my backyard after the sun went down.

The list is so long now that I couldn’t even count all the non-sexual places I’ve gotten off. It’s a great big world out there, go have sex all over the place.

4. Get Sloppy and Loud

Whether it’s drooling all over his dick or spitting on her pussy, sex should be anything but nice and tidy. There is something so hot about dirty sex. I love the idea of juices going everywhere and making a mess. This can mean oiling each other up and giving massages before having sex. It could mean using lube even when you don’t need it or letting your partner cum on your tits, ass, or face instead of inside you. Money shots don’t have to be left up to the porn stars.

While I have nothing against quiet sex, sometimes it can be insanely hot, there is nothing that quite compares with letting yourself make all the noise you want. I tend to be pretty loud if I’m enjoying myself but don’t often get to let loose because I don’t live alone. When you can, try to not quiet yourself. Don’t hold back out of fear that someone might hear you. If you’re feeling really naughty, open the windows and let your freak flag fly.

Life’s too short for bad sex.

While sometimes bad sex happens to good people, I feel that it is time to take the power into our own hands and create the fantastic sex life that we want. This means experimenting and trying new things because you can’t keep doing the same thing and expect different results.

Branching out into new sexual ideas is a great way to keep your sex life feeling fun and exciting. If your sex life is feeling stale, don’t fall into the old sex tips that you have heard time and time again. Try something new and who knows, you might really fucking enjoy yourself.