The 3 Specific Types of Friendship According to the Philosophy of Aristotle
Learn to choose your friends wisely.
For me, friendship is,
- It’s laughing out loud.
- It’s talking without words.
- It’s being there for better or worse.
- It’s helping each other not to be overwhelmed by nonsense.
- It’s to know what is happening to the other just by looking at them.
- It’s to share everything when the other one has nothing left.
That’s for me is friendship.
But Aristotle did not see everything as black and white as I do. For him, there were 3 categories of friendship. And today, I want to share them with you.
But first, let me tell you something about this great philosopher,
Aristotle suffered from stomach pains and gave his classes, walking to calm the pain.
The Spanish word “pasear” (to walk) comes from the Greek verb “peripatein.” That’s why his students were known as Peripatetics.
So I propose that for a while you become a peripatetic student. And read this article while walking immersed in your reflections, sure you will enjoy it more.
Let’s begin.
I. Friendship for pleasure
“The aim of the wise is not to secure pleasure but to avoid pain.”
— Aristotle.
In Eudemian Ethics, Aristotle indicates that the term friendship has different meanings. One of them is that of friendship for pleasure.
In friendship for pleasure, there is a common goal: enjoyment. Therefore conflicts are sporadic. You don’t want to argue. You just want to have fun.
This friendship usually occurs in youth. And it ends when we get older, and we fill our life with responsibilities.
Even so, we keep some friends of this type to go out occasionally for a drink and disconnect.
This type of friendship is not a deep friendship. Occasionally it is based on sharing a hobby.
- Soccer playing partners.
- Chess club members.
- Video game teammates.
Friendship for pleasure ends when the people who practice it stop doing what gives them pleasure.
This type of friendship creates confusion when you are young.
For example, my high school friends were very special to me.
I thought they would always support me, and they didn’t.
They just wanted to have fun with me on the weekends.
When their lives changed, they stopped hanging out with me.
I’m sure the same thing happened to you with a “supposed” childhood friend.
II. Friendship for utility
“He who is incapable of living in society, or he who has no need because he has enough with himself, must be either a beast or a god.”
— Aristotle.
We are not islands. We need each other.
That is why Aristotle enunciates this kind of friendship of a practical order.
Friendship for utility lasts as long as the mutual benefit of the persons involved in the relationship lasts.
A clear example of this type of friendship would be work colleagues.
I remember my last job. I worked in a famous law firm as a telemarketer.
I had colleagues at that job. And we use to go out for coffee during the workday, and occasionally for a drink on Fridays. When I left the job, those relationships became weaker and weaker.
Because I was no longer in their day-to-day life. I wasn’t working with them. And the distance caused the friendship to fade.
But there are other kinds of friendships for usefulness.
For example, the “supposed” friendships in which it is about obtaining some type of material or immaterial benefit.
I am sure that at some time, you were approached by someone who came looking for money or emotional comfort, and when they got it, they left for good.
This type of friendship is dangerous if one of the parties does not know what is going on.
I don’t judge these types of personal relationships. We all need things from each other.
- The student needs the teacher.
- The worker needs the employer.
- The customer needs the salesman.
But it is crucial to know which role is occupied at all times. Or we will end up suffering.
III. Friendship by virtue or perfect friendship
“What is a friend? A single soul dwelling in two bodies.”
— Aristotle.
Friendship by virtue is reciprocal. It is based on empathy and on the genuine desire that things go well for the other.
This friendship is only possible between virtuous people.
Well, according to the philosopher, only the virtuous and good-hearted are capable of loving. And love is the fundamental condition to have a friendship of this type.
Aristoteles is right. People who do not love themselves can hardly love others.
And if by some chance of fate they want someone, they do not do it in the right way. Since his way of love tends to be toxic.
If it were not, they would love themselves more (they would be virtuous).
Aristotle also called this type of friendship unique or first friendship.
And one of the main characteristics is that it is a stable friendship relationship. Because for a friendship of this type to prosper, there must be trust and perseverance.
That is why this type of friendship is scarce. It requires trust, patience, time, and perseverance. And in today’s world, none of the above abounds.
And that is why it is popularly said,
Who have a friend, have a treasure.
Final thoughts
Friendship has three origins: pleasure, usefulness, and virtue.
True friendship is the third: virtuous friendship.
Friendship for utility is practical but dangerous if one of the parties is not aware that it is a relationship based on exchanging some type of material or immaterial value.
Friendship for pleasure is more common in youth and changes easily over time. Because as we grow up, we assume responsibilities that separate us from those persons we frequented to do recreational activities.
All three categories of friendship are necessary.
As I said, we are not islands. And we need each other.
The important thing is to know how to distinguish what kind of friendship you have with each person.
So as not to get confused and end up suffering unnecessary disappointments.
If you have read to the end of the article, I want to thank you for your support. I hope this article has helped you. If so, let me know in the comments. I really appreciate it.
Thanks for reading. Alberto García (Malafama1981).
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