The 3 Most Important Questions to Ask Yourself Every Day

“Often the most tricky questions are the ones we secretly know the answers of.” —Sanhita Baruah

When I was sixteen years old, I died. And although I was quickly resuscitated, the accident had profound impacts on my life — some good and some bad — that have trickled into the core of my being, with existential undertones illuminating the totality of living.

I remember before the accident with stunning acuity, almost as if I knew.

And in some way, I did know. I could feel something looming, something big in the distance, something that would change my life forever.

But because I was a 16-year-old, with a new car and a new license, I pushed those thoughts to the back of my mind. I was on the road, freedom surrounded me, promise in my heart, and a Burger King milkshake on my mind.

Just that morning, I had felt an odd sense of needing protection. This was new, but I wasn’t frightened or worried. I simply put an angel charm in my pocket and went about my day. Farm. School. Cheerleading practice. Nothing out of the ordinary.

That was all, until that fateful moment at the stop sign leaving sports practice. I wondered whether to go left or right, to home or to the town where a delicious milkshake awaited me.

Barely a young adult, impelled by the boldness that comes from personal despair so deep that one feels one has nothing left to lose, I sat for a moment.

All of a sudden I felt a subtle sense of foreboding. Left or right? Why was this such a big decision? I clutched the angel charm in my pocket and, because there wasn’t anything left for me at home anyway, I turned left.

I took my foot off the brake and carefully eased through the stop sign. That was the last memory that I had for three months, and the last clear memory that I had for years.

I woke up in the trauma hospital, a month later, with a black stuffed dog clutched at my side.

My mom walked in. “Hello,” I said. “What’s going on? Why am I here?” “You had an accident,” my mom replied. “Was it bad?” I asked. My mom looked at me incredulously. “Yes, it was very bad,” she said. “You’ve been bleeding and swelling internally for weeks. The gray matter started running out of your ears. A priest read you your last rites; we’ve been holding candle vigils at church and at school. We are so glad you’ve come back to us.”

I found out later that it was a freak accident, something that shouldn’t have happened, and that no one knew exactly how it happened because whoever had crashed into me had fled the scene.

Still, I knew that something monumental had taken place and that I would never be the same, even in the absence of any cognitive memory.

Eventually, I was discharged from the hospital, and as I healed and processed the event I wondered, did I really die, or almost die? Without the cleverly encoded storage of visual information, it didn’t feel real, even if the body always remembers.

Then I began to think more introspectively, what have I done with my life up until this point?

Will things ever be the same?

Does my life even matter?

I was only sixteen years old, but those thoughts and that experience had a profound impact on the way I conducted my life from then onward.

I realized that I was blessed to have a second chance at life. I wanted to make sure that my life did matter. I wanted to make sure that I did achieve something and that I did tell those closest to me that I loved them.

I started focusing on my own personal development. I was always fascinated by the psychology of the mind and had a dream of running my own business, helping others through counseling and animal therapy.

However, I took the advice of my parents and society in general, with a predictable position in the corporate world.

There were so many days at that company when I would ask myself, am I really making a difference? and am I living fully, or even happy? I quickly realized that no job was worth selling my soul. I’d have to give up some things to gain others.

As the years passed, I gradually returned to the promise that I’d made to my sixteen-year-old self, to follow what sparked my mind and to help others.

Although not an easy step, I left the corporate world and started to live fully, loving more openly, and making more of a difference however I could.

These are questions that I still live by today, as they guide me in everything that I do.

Have I loved fully?

Our ability to love is paramount to our happiness. Focus on someone you love, either your partner, child, family member, or other loved one.

Have you told them and shown them how much you care? How can you help them, or surprise them with an expression of your love?

We can become so busy and focused on external stressors and rewards that we neglect the most important people in our lives. Never be afraid to tell those closest to you how much they mean to you.

The more love and appreciation that you show to others, the more love and appreciation you will get in return, compounding its positive effect on your life and on those around you.

Have I made a difference?

I believe that we are all here to make a difference in this world. Each of us has a unique trait, whether love, wisdom, or wealth; we all have something that we can share to make the world a better place.

There are countless others in this world that can benefit from your actions or words. Don’t be afraid to stand up for what you believe in and don’t be afraid to make yourself vulnerable, as vulnerability is what enables us to be who we truly are.

Have I lived fully?

Every day we are gifted with the strength and ability to do the things that matter most to us. Take risks and live your life how you have always dreamed. Never be afraid to act.

It can be challenging, but with careful planning, support, and some steps in the right direction, you will be able to live more fully in the way that you personally desire.

Take challenges, expand your comfort zone, experience everything that life has to offer, and be the best that you can be in this world.

You don’t need to have a near-death experience to realize that life is an amazing journey in which we are all here to make a difference and support one another. Ask yourself these questions now. I can certainly say it’s worth it.

With love and gratitude, Aurora