The 15 Commandments of Adultery
What the Adultery Gods have taught me in this lifestyle
Who am I kidding? God ain’t talking to me, that’s for sure! I’m a fallen woman. And not in the old-person “help me, I can’t get up kinda way” either.
It’s more like Hell’s basement for me.
But my endless sinning may help you wannabe heathens out. Pay attention to my sermon. This is a hellava lot more interesting than church, just sayin’.
- Be witty in an initial message, but don’t seem too interested in getting a response. The point here is to make you stand out, and leave them wanting more.
- Follow their lead regarding message length until a solid rapport is built. The secret to being a bore is to tell all. A good rule of thumb is no more than five lines. And remember to ask questions about them!
- Toe the line regarding responsiveness as well. Too short a delay, and you seem eager. Too long, and you frustrate or seem apathetic. Simon says you don’t look too thirsty. It’s a fine balance.
- If someone thinks they have you in the bag too early, their interest wanes and their gaze wanders. Start being slightly non-committal. Let them see you as an opportunity to be seized. The ole playing hard to get trick.
- Exchange pics as soon as they seem trustworthy, no later than the fifth message. Delaying further is a red flag. Don’t send “too sexual” pics or dick pics. Period (unless asked and desired by both parties), and then it’s game on!
- If someone asks questions but doesn’t answer them, delete and move on. Being hesitant on personal info is understandable, but more than once or twice means they are selfish, entitled, or a scam.
- Don’t burn bridges, you don’t need to. If a sexual component is out, friends may be in, then who knows what might evolve. Ask yourself, does the upside outweigh the downside? Everyone needs a wingman of the opposite sex.
- Know when to focus on sex and when not to. Balance is key. Start subtle, then increase the heat as you receive positive feedback. But don’t be a horn dog.
- Do little things to show effort. If you don’t know what to say and it’s been a day or two, a simple message of “thinking of you” conveys much with few words.
- Don’t cut bait when someone doesn’t check every box. Pretty faces are cheap, beautiful hearts and minds are priceless, and perfection exists only in your imagination. The best affair partners are often unexpected.
- Quality over quantity. Respect yourself by not casting a wide net. You have value, and you must see it and love it before others will be able to. Set standards. Do not settle.
- No ghosting. It’s cowardly and selfish. Be an adult. End things on a note that doesn’t create more bad karma. Ya know, the do unto others crap.
- Engaging is an emotional investment with real risk, whether you like it or not. Only devote effort when both probability of success and potential return are present. Know when to cut your losses.
- This lifestyle is full of liars, fakes, and bots. Don’t let it wear you down. If you get jaded or angry at the idiocy, it’s time to step away. Get a fresh start when you feel up to the lunacy again. Don’t take out your personal grievances on an internet stranger that doesn’t care what ringers you’ve been through while looking for “sex on the side.”
- We are all here for a reason. Don’t judge. For God’s sake. Leave that to the almighty one in Heaven or Hell or wherever they might reside.
Be well, my fellow heathens. Follow the 15 commandments of adultery if you want some sex on the side.
Go forth and frolic, sinners. God/Satan loves you.
If you want more heathen content, read this one:
That one will get me straight to Hell’s basement for sure. Read more from there at my Substack.