That Piece of Moon

Summary

The content reflects a personal struggle with anxiety, solitude, and the emotional weight of explaining difficult concepts like death, set against the backdrop of a rainy day and the comfort found in music and writing.

Abstract

The author expresses a deep sense of solitude that is both sought after and overwhelming, leading to introspective moments where music and writing serve as coping mechanisms. Amidst the sound of raindrops and the calming influence of Jagjit Singh's songs, the author grapples with an inexplicable sadness and the challenge of discussing the concept of death with their child. The emotional turmoil is compounded by the ongoing anxiety related to the pandemic, including a patient's reluctance to disclose their medical history. Despite the internal storm, the author finds solace in reading and the act of writing, which provides a daily outlet to confront and alleviate the ever-present anxiety.

Opinions

The author finds solitude both a sanctuary and a source of anxiety, indicating a complex relationship with being alone.
Music, particularly Jagjit Singh's songs, is used as a means to drown out internal noise and find peace.
The act of explaining the concept of death to a child is portrayed as a difficult and helpless experience.
The author feels a sense of responsibility to maintain strength in front of their son, despite personal struggles.
There is a sense of frustration or concern regarding a patient's decision not to disclose their medical history or take a swab test, contributing to the collective anxiety of the pandemic.
The author expresses a daily battle with anxiety, using poetry as a tool to break free from its grasp.
The safety of the home is juxtaposed with the uncertainty of the future, highlighting the ongoing nature of the struggle against anxiety.

a page to fight anxiety

I don’t know what to do with solitude, I always end up overusing it.

Raindrops are crashing against the window, but the noise within is louder then that, I have deafened the noise by Jagjit Singh’s songs. They both are watching something which I don’t feel like watching so I am writing that one last post before I sleep.

Today sadness enveloped me like dense clouds, today I had to explain to someone the meaning of the word Death and I was helpless. My eyes searched that piece of moon in the sky above but failed to find it. I crumbled within but didn’t tell anything to my son. He knows his mother is trying to be strong, I picked the book and read again those words to find myself.

The raindrops within had rested somewhere but now the clouds are back, I again need to walk somewhere. Evening I got to know through him that one patient didn’t reveal his medical history to him and said no for swab test, so yes it continues — the anxiety, the trauma of holding it all within.

I kept this to myself but I had to write somewhere — today we are safe in the cocoon of our home, what about tomorrow? each day the same fight to walk away from anxiety, each day a new poem to break free, each day the writer in me struggles to breathe.