Summary

The author recounts a metaphorical road trip with their personified emotions, guided by Rumi's poetry and Buddhist teachings, to learn to coexist with and understand their feelings.

Abstract

In a creative narrative, the author describes embarking on a road trip with their emotions, each represented as a distinct character. Inspired by Rumi's poem about welcoming all feelings as guests, and influenced by Buddhist teachings on Mara, the author learns to embrace and understand their emotions rather than rejecting or favoring some over others. Through this journey, they discover the value of mindfulness and non-attachment, allowing them to experience their emotions without being overwhelmed by them. The story serves as an allegory for personal growth and emotional intelligence, emphasizing the importance of acknowledging and accepting the full spectrum of human emotions.

Opinions

The author initially favors Joy over other emotions but comes to understand the importance of welcoming all feelings.
Worry is depicted as an overly cautious passenger, while Impatience urges the author to move faster, highlighting the tension between caution and haste.
Anger and Sadness are seen as troublesome and disruptive, yet the author learns they need to be heard and understood rather than suppressed or ignored.
The author draws a parallel between their journey with emotions and the Buddhist concept of Mara, recognizing the need to face and accept negative impulses.
Through mindfulness and meditation, the author learns to observe their emotions as if watching a movie, achieving a state of equanimity and non-attachment.
The author concludes that emotions are transient experiences, distinct from one's core identity, and that understanding this distinction is key to emotional well-being.

That One Time When I Went on a Road Trip with My Emotions

Worry can be a real drag

The 13-century poet and theologian, Rumi, is throwing a party in his guest house and I’m invited.

This being human is a guest house. Every morning a new arrival. A joy, a depression, a meanness, some momentary awareness comes as an unexpected visitor. Welcome and entertain them all! Even if they are a crowd of sorrows, who violently sweep your house empty of its furniture, still, treat each guest honorably. He may be clearing you out for some new delight. The dark thought, the shame, the malice. meet them at the door laughing and invite them in. Be grateful for whatever comes. because each has been sent as a guide from beyond.

Okay, Rumi didn’t technically invite me to his party since it seems to be taking place in his own guest home, for himself, but he seems like such a friendly host I’ve decided to surprise him. And in a moment of bravery, I also invited a few of my feelings to accompany me.

I’m in my Jeep now with Worry riding shotgun. She keeps slamming her foot on the invisible break in front of her. She thinks I drive too fast.

Impatience is sitting on Worry’s lap and keeps telling me that I’m not driving fast enough. Joy is riding on the roof. She loves to feel the wind in her hair. She suddenly, giddily screams, ROAD TRIP! Her face is awash with wonder as she stuffs it with popcorn. Where did she get the popcorn? That’s the thing about Joy, she always manages to find the things that she most enjoys, and then she proceeds to immerse herself into that enjoyment, completely, unabashedly. I love Joy. She’s my favorite.

But, Rumi suggested that I let them all in, even the bothersome ones like Anger, Sadness, and Doubt, so I chose to suck it up and I allow them all in the car. I sit them together in the backseat, tell them to buckle up, and off we go to Rumi’s place.

Within moments, Sadness begins to cry hysterically because Anger sucker-punched her in the face. I want to throw them both out. Anger really has a way of pissing me off and Sadness is a total buzzkill! But, instead, I take a deep breath and I calmly ask them if they want to talk about it. For a moment they were both taken aback by my sudden interest in them.

The silence didn’t last long.

You always ignore me! Anger yelled over the wailing cries of Sadness. Sadness chimes in, You ignore me too. You pretend like I don’t even exist.

At that moment I remember something I read in my Buddhist studies, stories about Mara. Mara symbolizes fear, doubt, death.

In Buddhist cosmology, Mara personifies unwholesome impulses, unskillfulness, the “death” of the spiritual life. He is a tempter, distracting humans from practicing the spiritual life by making mundane things alluring, or the negative seem positive. -Wikipedia

Mara wants to stop Buddha from achieving enlightenment and from teaching it to others. Once, when Mara arrived at Buddha’s door, Buddha invited him in for tea. Apparently, both Rumi and Buddha enjoy entertaining.

With all of that said, I decided to turn over a new leaf with my emotions. I’ve decided to get to know them, even the unpleasant ones. Besides, when I don’t keep an eye on one of them, they have a tendency to run amok.

I remember when Anger and Sadness gave me some trouble in the past (they’re probably in cahoots with one another.) Sadness ran away from home and I thought I was better off without her so I changed the locks on the door to make sure she stayed out. Soon enough, she came knocking at the door all teary-eyed, begging to be let back in. I ignored her because I was busy doing shots with Ignorance. At one point I noticed that Anger, who had moved into Sad’s room as soon as she split, was now growing taller and wider.

Anger was turning into a gruesome giant, her head exploding through the roof! I sent Anger to her room and bolted the door shut. Worry began to sense the imbalance that was developing inside of our home which made her work overtime by checking and rechecking to see if the stove was left on, if the locks were securely locked and if my heart was still beating. I couldn’t seem to get rid of Worry who was now bunking with Doubt. All of this was happening while Joy enjoyed a glass of Pinot Grigio in the Jacuzzi watching Seinfeld reruns on her iPhone

I know, it’s a lot.

It wasn’t until I read Rumi’s poem that I finally understood that I was making everything worse by banishing some emotions, and at the same time, allowing other’s total freedom. That’s when I decided to bring along all of them on this trip.

As we drove together my mind told stories, as it often does, regrets about the past, concerns for the future. The talented ensemble of my stories was with me in the car now. Only this time, instead of rejecting them, I began to observe them. Like I was watching a movie. I found that to watch and simply be with my emotions without getting caught up in their drama and without kicking them out of a moving vehicle, to be a liberating thing. That’s what the Buddha taught about mindfulness of feelings. That we all have feelings but we are not our feelings.

This non-attachment has allowed me to have Sadness without being Sadness. I feel Angry without living in Anger and I can experience Joy without getting lost in her to such a point that I lose my way home.

I can live my present moment reality with them all without grasping at extremes.

Once I learned how to do this, through mindfulness and meditation, and by choosing to do it, on a continual basis, I was able to travel a little better with Sadness and the whole crew.

I got to know them well on this road trip. I wept with Sadness, cradled Worry in my arms, and kissed Anger’s face. I don’t want to beat them up or abandon them anymore. I want to get to know them better so we can all reach an understanding. The understanding that they are with me, but they are not me. The understanding that they need to be heard but not followed. I learned that I really do care about this nutty crew.

Which is good news, since we are all on this wild ride together.

Originally published at https://www.huffpost.com

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