That Old Hilarious “What If…” Involving a Child Injuring Themselves on the First Day of Holidays

It never really happens…does it?

It’s been a bit of a busy couple of days, guys.

We’ve only been spending our time leaving one hospital (because the X-ray machine was closed), going to another, only to be sent from there to another (because the X-ray machine wasn’t working) to another (because they were short staffed) and the entire trip took one evening and nearly six hours the next day.

What happened, you say?

Well now, glad you asked. Let me start at the beginning…

You know that funny old conversation among parents; “wouldn’t it just be hilarious if your child injures themselves right at the start of the summer holidays and buggers up the whole holiday?” Hilarious because, obviously, it’s never gonna happen.

Try within the first hour of breaking up from school.

One minute we’re all trying to fight back the tears as the emotion of seeing the twelve leavers (yes, it’s a tiny school) being celebrated on their very last day of primary school overwhelms us. And then we’re all heading over to the village green to buy ice creams, as we do on the last day of the summer term every year.

It’s all lovely jubbly, chatting away about plans for the summer; what we can get the kids together to do, and possible camping trips.

And then, in a moment, it all changes.

Less than an hour after school officially ended.

Less than a fucking hour.

Leap-frogging over a stone post, my son buckle-fractured his wrist and has to have it in a splint for three to four weeks. No swimming, no climbing, no skateboarding.

Let me tell you, he cried more when he was told by the nurse that he couldn’t go swimming for half the holiday than he did when he actually injured himself!

And yes, I spent my first day of the holidays driving from one ER to another, looking for a functioning X-ray machine to get a darned diagnosis. What fun the holidays are!

So now I am looking for ways to keep my son happy and entertained without having, or wanting, to use his wrist.

There are museums, libraries, train rides to more museums and libraries, pizza and ice cream-eating fests, walks along the river to not swim, and visits to the beach to build lefthanded sandcastles and not go bodyboarding. Oh and more ice creams, of course.

I know, the possibilities seem endless but if anyone has any other great ideas that don’t involve swimming or anything very physical at all, please let me know.

So if anyone says to you, “wouldn’t it be funny — and so very unlikely — if your child would go and injure himself on the first day of the holidays,” let them know it’s neither completely unlikely nor is it very funny.

In fact, as I try my hardest to find a miniscule bit of giggle inside me and fail, I realise that it’s not even a tiny bit funny.

Let’s see how he gets on at the birthday party he’s attending today where he will get to sit and observe his friends playing on the bouncy castle.

Movie and popcorn anyone?