That Hitler Was An Odd fellow, But At Least He Loved His Dog.

I don’t know about you, but I am really on the fence about this Hitler fellow.

He was, to put it mildly, an odd duck, and the more I hear, the less I like him.

Failure — In the purest sense Hitler was a massive failure. Why did he join the Nazi Party, or D.A.P, as it was known at the time? He joined because he was an intelligence agent in the German army. He was supposed to infiltrate and influence. We know how that turned out.

What a retirement party the man who sent Hitler to meet to his first D.A.P meeting must have had. “So dad, as you look back on your long distinguished career do you have any regrets?”

“Just the one son, just the one”

Thule — The Nazi Party grew out of another group, D.A.P., and that group had close ties to another group, The Thule Society. The Thule's were occultists, named after a mythical country of Greek legend. It’s also known as Hyperbora, but you may know it as Atlantis. Atlantis, yes, that Atlantis. One of the founders of the Thule society believed the Aryan people were intentionally bred via electricity by aliens called Theozoa and that other races were created by human and ape-man interbreeding. But tragically, the interbreeding had caused the Aryans to lose their magical powers.

The Nazis, D.A.P., and the Thule’s all have creation stories that sound a lot like Scientology.

The real question remains, how did Hitler turn up to one of their meetings and think “These are my people.”

I am only on the second point and already I think we can agree that actual Nazis are somehow more cartoonish than the cartoonish Nazis in Hollywood films such as Indiana Jones.

A Museum — Hitler had plans for a super museum. As they destroyed Europe, they also looted it. Sending thousands of train cars containing plunder for storage. The plan was to open “The Fuhrermuseum” in Linz, Austria. After the war, on the proviso they won it. (Spoiler alert : They didn’t) Much of what they plundered is still lost sadly.

Poor No More — After growing up in poverty, Hitler had had enough of that and spent a fair bit of effort on getting wealthy. Very wealthy. Inordinately wealthy, It’s believed he amassed around five billion dollars (in today’s money). He did this through the classic dictator method of siphoning off government funds and accepting donations. He also invented a new way. Ingeniously ordering the German government to give all newly weds a copy of his book, Mein Kampf as a wedding present from the state, and if that doesn’t get you in the mood for your honeymoon, what will. The other method he had of amassing wealth was refusing to pay income tax.

The Army Of Talking Dogs. — It is said Hitler and the Nazis were breeding an army of talking dogs. Dogs that would help win the war. That’s got to be a warning sign thing’s aren't going as good as the boss says it is. When his next idea to win the war involves talking dogs and your not in Narnia. The Nazis rounded up educated dogs. It’s unclear what a dog has to score on his S.A.T’s to be considered educated. It also implies a canine education system.

They then talked to the dogs by tapping their paws, barking and wagging their tails. Was Hitler a furry?

One dog even manged to bark “Mein Fuher.”

What a good boy.