That Damned Facebook Messenger “Ding”
My Anxiety Trigger, And For Good Reason
Certain sights and certain sounds can trigger anxiety. It’s not that I don’t understand why. There’s good reason to squirm when I hear that damned Facebook Messenger “Ding.”
Some people use the same Messenger “Ding” sound for texts and other notifications. If I hear it on someone else’s phone, my ears perk up. Even when I know it’s not my phone, I still look to be sure.
I don’t use Messenger much and never did. I’ve only used it occasionally, and it’s the primary contact for a couple of friends, but not ones I interact with often. Yet every time the ding happens, especially if I know it’s for me, I freeze.
Uh-oh
I enjoy hearing from two particular friends exclusively via Messenger, but I get a little nervous when I do. To what do I owe the surprise? Is everything okay? Are you upset about something I said? Why does it take you to get back to me?
The next is the solicitations, invitations, and info I don’t need. I don’t want to get fake warnings about some consumer product or an invite to a Pampered Chef party in a faraway state where I have one Facebook friend. Regardless of your political affiliation, leave politics out of my Messenger.
The biggest reason for the anxiety stems from something many have encountered in the past five years. Out of the blue, you hear from a stranger. The message starts in different ways, but I’ve had a similar message happen at least three times, the first being four years ago.
The first time was the most shocking. It left me in a stupor walking around my living room and kitchen repeating “Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck” for 10 minutes. I’m talking about the person who contacts you, saying, in one way or another, “I think we might be related.”
It was a life-changing message and completely unexpected. I’m delighted to say that what started with me in half a foul-mouthed trance was absolutely fantastic. My niece, or niester as I call her, has played a significant role in life since 2018.
That didn’t make the ding thing go away. It only made it worse. Two years later, at about the same time of evening as before, on a beautiful, serene Sunday, I got the “Ding.”
This time, a long-lost cousin had run across old family photos of my dad. Again, it was fantastic. We’d met once fifty years earlier, but she didn’t remember. Still nervous about the “Ding.”
The next was a false alarm. Somebody was looking for a half-brother born the same day as me at the same hospital that was given up for adoption. She said, “I know you might think I’m crazy, but we have a mutual friend,” but I wasn’t worried. Been there, done that. I did my due diligence four years ago and vetted my niester, so I know the drill now.
I Admit it; I Like It.
Don’t get me wrong. I still look forward to the surprise “Ding,” but it’s unnervingly scary. Maybe it’s much like the way some people enjoy scary movies.
My favorite line from a Tom Petty song is “Most things I worry about never happen anyway” from “Crawling Back To You,” a favorite Petty song. That’s true of the “Ding .” That still doesn’t ease my mind or my stomach.
I’m sure others have triggers like my “Ding .” I deal with it by taking a breath before looking at the phone or iPad to see who is contacting me. Then I brace for a few seconds of adventure and hope for the best in what I’m about to read.
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