That Annoying Sound — Misophonia is a Real Thing

and it can drive you batty

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Last night I had a severe attack of Misophonia. If you are unaware of this disruptive disorder, it is defined as:

Misophonia is a disorder in which certain sounds trigger emotional or physiological responses that some might perceive as unreasonable given the circumstance. Those who have misophonia might describe it as when a sound “drives you crazy.” Their reactions can range from anger and annoyance to panic and the need to flee. The disorder is sometimes called selective sound sensitivity syndrome. — WebMD

Individuals, such as myself, that suffer from misophonia have negative psychological reactions to certain sounds, often oral sounds or repetitive sounds. These reactions can range from mild irritation to a complete disruption of thought, fight or flight reactions, and even angry outbursts.

Oral sounds are the worst

Triggering sounds are varied. Oral sounds such as chewing, slurping, repetitive clicking or other oral sounds that people make with their tongues or lips, or humming are common triggers.

When I first met my stepdaughter she was 5 years old and a raging ball of ADHD. Some of her personality traits were very grating on my misophonic brain.

She is a constant hummer. She is also one of the noisiest eaters in the eastern hemisphere. You can imagine the difficulties this has put on our relationship.

The intense rage that was triggered in me was extremely difficult for me to manage. I tackled the situation with a two-fold strategy. I had to remove myself from eating next to her or within sight of her so that her actions were not triggering me. But I also worked to improve her table manners.

These two things together have greatly lessened my reactions but have also made great strides with regards to her mannerisms at the dinner table. This is a child who would come home from a social event with pizza on her forehead. This is a child who would pick up her dinner plate off the table and lick the food off of it.

I have been very persistent in working with her on the table manners and her wild enthusiasm about eating to tamper it enough for her to be more socially presentable. After all, she does want to be a doctor. I cannot imagine her going to interviews etc and presenting herself professionally without polishing some of these mannerisms. She now eats just as enthusiastically but with a little more poise. I can even eat nearer to her as well without such an emotional response, so there has been a lot of improvement here.

As long as no one chews chewing gum!

Please, someone, design a silent mouse.

Other triggers of misophonia include repetitive sounds such as the tapping of a pen or the cracking of someone’s knuckles. These sounds usually provoked in me an immediate “stop that!” response.

Last night I had one of the most severe reactions that I have ever had to a noise that my boyfriend was making while we were watching television.

We have had a laptop computer in the drawer for years because it wouldn’t charge. Robbie found a way to get the laptop charged. This is fantastic because it means I can use my laptop and he gets to use that one.

Side note: someone desperately needs to create a silent computer mouse.

While we were watching our current binge show, Robbie was playing an old computer game that he hadn’t played in years and was quite excited about it. I really did not want to interfere with that excitement.

But — Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click.

I was trying to focus on the television show but that incessant clicking of the mouse was making me crazy. And by making me crazy I mean the first few clicks enraged me. I tried very hard to put it out of my mind and not think about it but click. Click. Click. Click. It just went on and on. The internal emotions ranged from panic (I can’t make it stop) to guilt (he deserves to have his relaxing time too) to intolerance, the desire to flee, the need to yell or have an angry outburst.

The initial rage turned to feelings of flight. Perhaps I can just make an excuse for not feeling like watching television and leave the room. I did make a few excuses to pause the show, escape the room, and go to the bathroom or any other thing I could think of to just be away from that clicking for a few minutes.

Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click.

I tried putting my finger in my ear. I tried covering that side of my face with a blanket hoping that it would block out the sound. But the more that clicking went on and on the crazier my neurons were firing.

I took my CBD oil early hoping it would calm me down. It helped a little bit but not quite enough for me to be able to tolerate that sound too that I was growing sure was going to haunt me in my sleep.

I don’t mean to be facetious about this. The triggering sounds for misophonia can make you feel wildly crazy and angry. And I was feeling both. I lasted about an hour with the noise before erupting into apologetic venting.

Robbie was, of course, oblivious to what was going on internally with me and immediately powered down the laptop.

The clicking stopped. I would say it took me about an hour and a half for the negative emotions to finally calm down.

We try not to be rude

People that suffer from misophonia have psychological reactions that are difficult to predict or control when they occur. I have found that the best thing for me to do is to remove myself from the situation, but sometimes that can appear as rudeness rude to other people. By all means, I try not to verbally wail on anyone for something that is most certainly my problem.

Taking a few deep breaths is helpful but I often resort to asking people to please stop that sound. I wish I could find another way to manage this that didn’t make other people have to change their behavior. For example, my daughter walking around the house humming humming humming is her being happy — but it makes me insane.

My heart goes out to people that suffer from this disorder because it is so difficult to manage. It is related to OCD, which I do have as well. Managing any OCD-like symptoms seems to be the best method of treatment. CBD oil is the most effective thing that I have tried, to date. It definitely calms my reactions.

(I use Hempworx.)

You are NOT alone

If you have been dealing with this I want you to know it is a real thing. You are not crazy. And you are not alone. I hope that having a little more information can help you to manage your symptoms not beat yourself up about it so much.

https://www.neurologytimes.com/blog/misophonia-triggers-management

Christina Ward is a poet and nature writer but also writes often about mental health issues. She advocates for a healthy relationship with oneself, with others, and very importantly — with the natural environment.