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Abstract

d with you so much you can’t tap your emotionally exhausted index finger against an even smaller itty bitty hand on your phone?</p><p id="7618">Really?</p><p id="6377">Really?</p><p id="cb63">In the last month alone, I have read articles by heavy hitters and lightweights alike about how their read counts are up, but their fans and clap counts are down.</p><h1 id="cc44">Guess what you nefarious one hand clappers?</h1><h1 id="d246">Pay your fucking dues just like all the rest of us.</h1><p id="bb83">If you read, clap. I don’t give a shit if it’s one or fifty.</p><h1 id="58cd">Just clap dammit.</h1><p id="bb37">If you don’t want to clap, then don’t read. Yeah we know when somebody doesn’t read our work.</p><p id="9f07">That’s what views versus reads are for.</p><p id="8a6d">But never fear.</p><p id="4cb8">Your wish to remain anonymous when you bitch slap an author by not clapping after you’ve read something is protected.</p><p id="9c0a">An author has no way of knowing who viewed the work and didn’t read it, just like we have no way of knowing who read it if you decide not to clap for it.</p><h1 id="e088">Like I said, your anonymous bitch slapping of us is protected.</h1><h1 id="5e33">And by the very platform that let’s you get away with it.</h1><p id="d7b9">How freaking wonderful is that?</p><p id="f495">Like hamsters on a wheel, a

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lot of us crank out article after article and there you sit, chuckling to yourself, your finger poised over the itty bitty hand.</p><h1 id="551d">Then you tell yourself, “screw ’em I don’t need to clap. They already have a hundred and fifty. I’m going to find another article to read and not clap for.”</h1><p id="a649">Stop this shit. Just stop it.</p><p id="938a">We’re all on this platform busting our asses day in and day out trying to make a living. You one hand clappers need to stop toying with us. You need to stop thinking you’re some omnipotent sitting on a throne somewhere pushing buttons and pulling levers in order to control our lives.</p><p id="b352">News flash — you don’t.</p><p id="aeb9">So keep that smug grin on your face all you want little one handers. We’re either going to go around you, through you, over you or under you, but we will make it without you.</p><h1 id="7c1b">After all, we sure as hell haven’t gotten this far with help from any of you one hand clappers have we?</h1><p id="ccf7">Be advised I’m inclined to serve notice to you, you know who you are, you bunch of silent applauders.</p><p id="f8c6">We’re going roll the dice the hard way and we’re going to keep rolling the dice.</p><p id="60ed">’Cause Daddy needs a new pair of shoes.</p><p id="9b57">Let’s keep in touch: [email protected]</p></article></body>

Thanks For Slapping Me By Not Clapping Me

This is a personal rant for all you well intentioned, but terribly misguided readers who believe we writers should just be happy you read our work and should STFU about the fact you don’t clap for it.

To that I say, a most sincere…bullshit.

The way we look at it — if it’s good enough to read, you should at least make the effort to clap for it.

But no, perish the freaking thought. It happens on a daily basis to a lot of authors on this platform.

What the freaking hell?

Let me guess.

You just finished one of our five minute pieces, from the opening line to the very last fucking word and you’re just too drained to click the itty bitty hand at the bottom of the page.

Right?

Or the piece resonated with you so much you can’t tap your emotionally exhausted index finger against an even smaller itty bitty hand on your phone?

Really?

In the last month alone, I have read articles by heavy hitters and lightweights alike about how their read counts are up, but their fans and clap counts are down.

Guess what you nefarious one hand clappers?

Pay your fucking dues just like all the rest of us.

If you read, clap. I don’t give a shit if it’s one or fifty.

Just clap dammit.

If you don’t want to clap, then don’t read. Yeah we know when somebody doesn’t read our work.

That’s what views versus reads are for.

But never fear.

Your wish to remain anonymous when you bitch slap an author by not clapping after you’ve read something is protected.

An author has no way of knowing who viewed the work and didn’t read it, just like we have no way of knowing who read it if you decide not to clap for it.

Like I said, your anonymous bitch slapping of us is protected.

And by the very platform that let’s you get away with it.

How freaking wonderful is that?

Like hamsters on a wheel, a lot of us crank out article after article and there you sit, chuckling to yourself, your finger poised over the itty bitty hand.

Then you tell yourself, “screw ’em I don’t need to clap. They already have a hundred and fifty. I’m going to find another article to read and not clap for.”

Stop this shit. Just stop it.

We’re all on this platform busting our asses day in and day out trying to make a living. You one hand clappers need to stop toying with us. You need to stop thinking you’re some omnipotent sitting on a throne somewhere pushing buttons and pulling levers in order to control our lives.

News flash — you don’t.

So keep that smug grin on your face all you want little one handers. We’re either going to go around you, through you, over you or under you, but we will make it without you.

After all, we sure as hell haven’t gotten this far with help from any of you one hand clappers have we?

Be advised I’m inclined to serve notice to you, you know who you are, you bunch of silent applauders.

We’re going roll the dice the hard way and we’re going to keep rolling the dice.

’Cause Daddy needs a new pair of shoes.

Let’s keep in touch: [email protected]