Thankfully We All Know Exactly How Covid-19 Spreads

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Abstract

ct:The virus is spread by things they don’t want to do, and it is not spread by things they do want to do.Those who love to shop and hate the gym, know for a fact that shops are following guidelines and are Covid safe, while gyms are petri dishes brimming with germs.Those who want their kids back at school know that Covid isn’t spread by school aged children, while those who don’t want to send their kids back to school know that it is.Those who are longing to get back to work and gossip around the water cooler are thoroughly convinced that office environments (and water coolers) are safe. Those who are happy working from home in their jammies are just as convinced that most Covid is contracted in the workplace.Outdoorsy types know the virus can’t possibly be spread out-of-doors, while those who hate noisy outdoor concerts and festivals know that that’s exactly where it’s most likely to spread.The already-happily-coupled point out that dating is obviously going to spread the virus. Those who don’t like dating agree. People who enjoy the dating scene know that dating is unlikel

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y to contribute much to the spread of the virus.Fans of wilderness camping explain that you can’t catch a virus in the wilderness, whereas those who like to stay at fancy hotels argue that there is nothing quite as unsanitary as the wilderness, and only the best hotels are clean enough to control the virus.Foodies know restaurants can’t spread the virus, but bars might, unless they also like to drink, and then bars don’t.If there’s a protest happening, it definitely won’t spread Covid, as long as it’s for a worthy cause. If it’s for a stupid cause, it will.Hugging someone you want to hug won’t spread Covid. Hugging someone you don’t want to hug might.Those who like wearing cute, outfit-coordinated masks know for a fact that a mask is all you need to stop this virus in its tracks. Those who don’t like wearing masks are insistent that they cut off all oxygen to your brain and kill you dead.It’s a confusing and, let’s face it, exhausting time to be alive. I’m so glad the vaccine rollout is underway. And don’t get me started on how much agreement there is about that.</article></body>

And we are all in perfect agreement about this.

One thing I’ve noticed as we open up after our third (and, we’re really hoping, final) lockdown here in the UK, is that everyone knows exactly how Covid spreads, and therefore what we should do to keep it under control. According to my friends in different countries, the situation is the same worldwide. We have had more than a year to study this virus, and we all know exactly how it spreads.

What’s more, everyone is in complete agreement on this. There are no disputes, no doubts, no arguments. Each individual is convinced, without a shadow of a doubt, of one important and unarguable fact:

The virus is spread by things they don’t want to do, and it is not spread by things they do want to do.

Those who love to shop and hate the gym, know for a fact that shops are following guidelines and are Covid safe, while gyms are petri dishes brimming with germs.

Those who want their kids back at school know that Covid isn’t spread by school aged children, while those who don’t want to send their kids back to school know that it is.

Those who are longing to get back to work and gossip around the water cooler are thoroughly convinced that office environments (and water coolers) are safe. Those who are happy working from home in their jammies are just as convinced that most Covid is contracted in the workplace.

Outdoorsy types know the virus can’t possibly be spread out-of-doors, while those who hate noisy outdoor concerts and festivals know that that’s exactly where it’s most likely to spread.

The already-happily-coupled point out that dating is obviously going to spread the virus. Those who don’t like dating agree. People who enjoy the dating scene know that dating is unlikely to contribute much to the spread of the virus.

Fans of wilderness camping explain that you can’t catch a virus in the wilderness, whereas those who like to stay at fancy hotels argue that there is nothing quite as unsanitary as the wilderness, and only the best hotels are clean enough to control the virus.

Foodies know restaurants can’t spread the virus, but bars might, unless they also like to drink, and then bars don’t.

If there’s a protest happening, it definitely won’t spread Covid, as long as it’s for a worthy cause. If it’s for a stupid cause, it will.

Hugging someone you want to hug won’t spread Covid. Hugging someone you don’t want to hug might.

Those who like wearing cute, outfit-coordinated masks know for a fact that a mask is all you need to stop this virus in its tracks. Those who don’t like wearing masks are insistent that they cut off all oxygen to your brain and kill you dead.

It’s a confusing and, let’s face it, exhausting time to be alive. I’m so glad the vaccine rollout is underway. And don’t get me started on how much agreement there is about that.