“Thank You For What You Do”
A short story
The weight of the day began to flow out of her body and dissipate as soon as Janice stepped into the scented studio and unfurled her yoga mat. The movements of the Surya Namaskar, the dim lights and gentle scents seemed to exorcise the stress from every muscle.
“Okay, now slowly, gently, lift your leg.”
Janice slowly performed the movement, marvelling at the sense of peace and lightness she felt. Only a mere few hours ago she had been feeling tired and heavy from the weight of the day.
“Now, reach to the sky. Push your left leg back, as far as it can go.”
In the yoga studio, Janice felt an incredible release. Here she could let go of work, her husband, kids and housework. Her body moved, in a smooth, gentle flow, like small ripples in a still ocean, while her mind remained clear and free. Janice came to the yoga studio every day, and every day wished she could stay just a bit longer, to escape real day-to-day life just that little bit longer.
But the class always ended, and Janice was brought out of her ethereal state, back to being a working mum and wife. Today’s class also ended with a “namaste” and Janice smiled sadly as she began rolling up her yoga mat.
“Janice, can you come to the office for a moment?” Janice turned and saw Eva, the instructor, gesturing to her. Oddly she wasn’t smiling.
“Sure Eva,” said Janice, feeling a sudden twinge in her chest.
Eva’s office was decorated just like the studio. The scent of jasmine and oils permeated the bright, white room. Everything was white, including the walls, ceiling, Eva’s chairs and desk, which at the moment was bare other than a few sheets of membership paperwork. Janice sat in a chair, gently sinking into the plush cushions.
“Is everything alright Eva?”
Eva sighed. “Look, Janice, I’m sorry. But I can’t have you in the studio anymore.”
There was a stunned, lingering silence in the air. Then a soft rustle of the chair cushions as Janice abruptly leaned forward.
“What?” she asked, incredulous.
“Look, Janice, I love you. You know that” Eva continued. “But… we know that you’re a doctor. An ICU doctor.”
“Yeah. But what does that have to do with anything?” Janice asked, still stunned.
“Look, a few of the other girls — I mean students,” Eva corrected. “They saw you at St. Thomas’s Hospital. And they’ve been emailing me. I mean, with Covid and all…”
Janice sat wordlessly, trying to make sense of it all. The soft light from Eva’s scented candles flickered slightly. Eva had a sad, defeated look on her face.
“Janice, you’re exposed every day. That protection… that stuff you wear. It isn’t one hundred per cent.” Eva sighed again as she sank, deflated, into her chair and stared past Janice at the bright, white wall. “It was so hard to get this place open again after lockdown. I lost so many clients. We had to make so many changes. Limit our classes and numbers. I can’t risk it again Janice, I just can’t.”
The glint of a tear shone in Eva’s eye, but it did nothing to abate Janice’s hurt and anger. Even the candles now smelt of betrayal.
“So Eva, I’m supposed to go to work, do my job… treat people with Covid. And other stuff. And you guys get to punish me… discriminate against me for that?” Janice’s raised voice was cracking as she fiercely held back a flood of tears. Eva could no longer look her in the eye, staring down at the floor as she spoke.
“Janice, thank you for doing what you do. Really. And you’re more than welcome to come back when Covid… is over. But for now… I just can’t have you here.”
Janice stood wordlessly and walked out without looking back once, slamming the door angrily on her way. Her mind was in a daze. The tears finally flowed when she sat in the car, her face in her hands and crying soft, whimpering sobs. She ignored the white flashes from her phone that illuminated the car — presumably from her husband asking where she was. Alone in the car, as the tears subsided, Janice was left wondering how could she go on without her outlet? Her release for the frustrations and stresses of the day? The question lingered as she forced herself to start the car and drive. Numb and distant, she drove off into the night.