Thank you for the plug. I pay good money for endorsements like that. I am crediting your account with 500 Mildew Dollars, which can only be redeemed at the prize counter in the Mill’s canteen. FYI: 500 Mildew dollars can get you a glass of lemonade or iced tea WITHOUT the lemon or mint. The garnishes cost extra. Truth is, we sell the drinks for cost and then make money on the garnishes.

On carnival rides: I have a friend whose father was an personal injury lawyer in the Midwest who specialized in suing traveling carnivals and circuses. She has never been on a ride. I asked her if she felt deprived. She said “no, and you wouldn’t go on those things if you saw the pictures that my dad used to show us to make sure we never got on one of those things.”