Thank God, he left the pets
Animals and breakups
We tried to be fair about splitting our stuff. It was hard after 18 years together. We each kept what we brought to the marriage, but what about things we’d bought as a couple? He took all the geodes we’d picked for our mantle. I wasn’t happy about this, but he left me the couch I loved, so I didn’t complain.
Then there were the pets, a dog and a cat. Should we split them?
I had no doubt I’d keep Annie. She was my dog. I rescued her. She was my shadow.
Opal, though — well, he was the one who rescued the cat. It was only fair he took her, right?
But my heart told me no, that wasn’t right. Opal, formerly feral, felt secure in our house. She had her routines and favorite spaces. And she and Annie loved each other. They were bonded like sisters.
What would we do if they separated? Arrange play dates? Visitation?
I offered, with sorrow, to split the pets; with relief I heard his no. He didn’t want the responsibility as he embarked on his new life. He later changed his mind when he realized how empty his new place was without the sound of paws. Too late, I told him. No backsies.
My experience made me reconsider fairness and divorce. It makes sense to be scrupulously fair when it comes to furniture and savings accounts. Not so much with sentient beings with feelings.
With pets, as with children, their needs should come first. The needs of the adult humans are secondary.
In my case, leaving the pets with me was best for them. Annie was strongly bonded to me. Opal was a cat.
Cats don’t like change. They tolerate it to stay with their people, but in Opal’s case, moving to a new house and losing three of her loved ones in order to stay with my ex would not have been the best choice for her.
When it comes to the pets and break-ups — be unselfish. Think of their needs, not yours. Even if the solution seems unfair, do what is best for them.
