Texas Tarantula Terror

I did a horrible, horrible thing

Many people who live in Texas will tell you that everything in Texas is bigger than anywhere else. I lived there many, many, many years ago and I have to agree with that sentiment somewhat.

A particular memory comes to mind…

I was driving along a back-country road one day in the undulating hill country southwest of Ft. Worth. My destination was the little town of Granbury. It was very important that I get there before the sun set.

Why? It was because of a woman.

There was a time several decades ago when I could legitimately say, ‘All my exes live in Texas.’ But since then most of those exes, like me, have left the state. Now, almost none of my exes live there.

If I didn’t make it to Granbury in time for my date with this woman it could mean the end of the relationship. Seriously, the relationship was on the ropes. I was racing to Granbury as fast as I could in hopes of saving my relationship with a woman I was deliriously in love with.

Needless to say I was driving a tad over the speed limit.

And then I was coming down from a short hill into a dry arroyo. I was shocked when I looked ahead. It appeared that there was some kind of oil slick; a river of oil flowing over the road at the bottom of the arroyo. In Texas oil is flowing everywhere — but not in the wild through some dry arroyo. I immediately slowed down. The flow of oil looked to be very thick.

I continued slowing down and as I approached the river of oil I suddenly realized that it was not oil at all. I pulled off to the side of the road. It was not a river of oil but rather a mass migration of tarantulas!

I put my car into park and got out. I walked closer to the river of black. I was completely blown away. There must have been thousands or even tens of thousands of tarantulas all crawling together in the same direction. I had seen tarantula swarms back when I lived in New Mexico but nothing like this. And I should point out that New Mexico tarantulas are smaller than Texas tarantulas. Yes, tarantulas are definitely bigger in Texas — although to be fair I must also say that New Mexico scorpions are bigger then Texas scorpions.

But scorpions don’t migrate en masse like this mass river of tarantulas. I have witnessed a lot of nature’s grandeur but nothing ever like this. It was actually beyond mind-blowing.

I got back in my car.

I figured that I would just wait it out. Surely the river of tarantulas would come to an end. I happen to consider myself a pacifist. I don’t kill bugs. I don’t kill animals. I don’t kill humans. I DON’T KILL! I couldn’t drive through the tarantula river without killing numerous tarantulas. It went against everything I believed in.

The thing about back-country Texas roads is that you can pull off to the side of the road and just sit there for 45 minutes without another vehicle ever driving by. I sat there in my car for around 15 minutes. No other vehicle drove by and the seemingly endless river of tarantulas never quit. I upped my earlier estimates of tens of thousands of tarantulas to hundreds of thousands. Like I said, I’ve never seen anything like it.

Sitting in my car watching all those tarantulas I kept think about that woman. One option available to me was to turn around, go back and take a different route to Granbury. But that would put me almost an hour behind schedule. It was something I could not risk.

It seemed like there would be no end to the tarantula river so I finally put my car in drive and I stepped on the gas. Aloud, I said, “I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I’m sorry!”

I sped right through that river of tarantulas. There is no telling how many tarantulas I killed. I was now a brutal, evil killer. I felt so bad, so horrible. I damn near cried.

As I kept driving I began wondering if maybe one of those tarantulas managed to jump up and cling to the underside of my car and was now working its way up into the car. Profound guilt and fear mingled to ruin the rest of the trip to Granbury. I was a mental mess.

I had become a killer and I was scared shitless.

I was slightly relieved when I made it to Granbury with only minutes to spare.

But then it only took a few minutes for that woman I loved so much to tell me that she was breaking up with me. I had brutally murdered countless poor innocent little helpless tarantulas in my rush to get to this woman and now she was stepping on and crushing me like a bug. I suddenly felt all the horror all those tarantulas felt when I heinously murdered them. My unforgivable crime was being thrown back in my face. I knew it was more than just instant karma but that is sure what it felt like.

I have never killed another tarantula or any other arachnid since that day.

Yes, folks. Things really are bigger in Texas…

…even heartbreak.

Copyright by White Feather. All Rights Reserved. Stories by White Feather