Terrified of Change-You’re Not the Only One

Summary

The author discusses the challenges of embracing change and the societal norms that discourage it.

Abstract

The author grew up in an environment where change was not welcomed and was met with ridicule. They followed rules set by others and didn't question them, as everyone around them seemed to be doing okay. However, as their life fell apart, they realized that people are not allowed to change their opinions, worldviews, or perspectives. The author believes that societal norms enable us to remain conventional and that change is hard to digest and manage, regardless of whether it is positive or negative. They also observe that individuals who hold faith as a primary factor in their lives are more headstrong about their opinions and tend to resist change.

Opinions

The author believes that societal norms discourage change and enable us to remain conventional.
The author thinks that change is hard to digest and manage, regardless of whether it is positive or negative.
The author observes that individuals who hold faith as a primary factor in their lives are more headstrong about their opinions and tend to resist change.
The author believes that expressing their views without being too critical or negative is always comforting.
The author cherishes the outbursts they have had when expressing their views, as it has helped them maintain decorum and avoid major confrontations or backlash.

Societal norms enable us to remain conventional

I grew up in an atmosphere where change was not welcomed and was met with ridicule. Following the rules set by someone in the past was ingrained from an early age, and I didn’t have any reason to question, as everyone around me was doing okay. They did what they were told, and life treated them nicely.

The discomfort I experienced while obeying traditions was immediately squashed down by the inner critic. The dismay I felt when others were mistreated based on their status was instantly crushed by the domineering environment. The distress I endured with the choices made for me was lovingly numbed by my family.

As my life, orchestrated by the dictates of an uninterested third party, fell apart, I realized that I live in a world where people are not allowed to change their opinions, worldviews, or perspectives.

Demoralizing attacks weighed down the ability to express ideas. Denying a place for a reasonable explanation tactfully silenced the opposition. Demonstrating a fiery brand of hostility usually successfully squashed the resurgence of a protest.

The sad reality is none of us are free from this overwhelming reality. No one wants to change unless the circumstances turn dire or motivation is too much to ignore. The status quo is maintained, preferred, and indoctrinated by society in the name of culture, religion, and familial bonds.

We genuinely believe that Heavens would fall if one misstep is taken from one member. Unknowingly, the simple things we do to connect, love, and engage as humans get riddled with unnecessary formalities, superficial niceties, and irrelevant mannerisms.

Unwittingly, sincerity gets replaced by hypocrisy, care with disdain, and love with envy.

What I have observed about myself and others is that change of any kind is hard to digest and manage. Irrespective of their being positive or negative, we tend to resist them because they pull us out of our comfort zones. Familiarity, even if it has become toxic, we tend to cling to it as long as possible to dissuade from deciphering the damages, stress, and pain incurred.

Individuals who hold faith as a primary factor in their lives are more headstrong about their opinions. At least, it has been my experience.

They thrive on fossilizing traditions, ritualizing beliefs, and perpetuating outdated perspectives that might benefit from updates. At least, it has been my experience dealing with friends and family whose identity has become synonymous with their faith.

I’m so thankful for the changes I’ve made willingly and unwillingly. I reinvented myself after major disasters; it was hard, and I lost friends and friendships. Yet, I regain confidence treading on less trodden paths, seeking a less glamorous life, and most importantly, being grateful for what I have achieved instead of being regretful.

I don’t like giving opinions or flaunting how accepting change is beneficial because it can harm certain relationships. I mostly prefer to listen to sermon-like speeches with patience and interest and abstain from getting involved in controversial discussions and debates. So far, I have managed to dodge the bullet of being the disrupter or the instigator of breaking the bond.

I should confess that sometimes, it’s tough to maintain decorum, and I’ve lost my cool occasionally to blurt out my frustrations. Surprisingly, after an awkward silence, things got normal with no major confrontations or backlash.

I cherish those outbursts because expressing my views without being too critical or negative is always comforting. I’m still a student learning the tropes of the phenomenon known as change in the fabric of life.

Sincere thanks to the editors of Illumination for providing a hospitable environment for my creativity. ❤️❤️

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Terrified of Change-You’re Not the Only One

Societal norms enable us to remain conventional