Ten Things My Father Taught Me:

I am reminiscent of these and other lessons.

My father died in 1999. It was a painful death. He had gone running an errand for the company he worked for. He offloaded the merchandise, went to the car, and collapsed by the vehicle door. They pronounced him dead at the hospital.

I still blame myself to this day. Maybe I could have done more to protect him. Maybe he should not have been working at 78 years old!

But my father was stubborn. He refused to listen. He defiantly ate red meat because he “owned hundreds of cattle”

Anyway, today, I want to share with you the ten lessons my incredible father engraved in me. Like my father, I am resolute, and I never let go of my beliefs, aspirations, and vision. Today, I celebrate my fathers’ legacy and other departed fathers with the following lessons:

1. Live and Love. Dad taught me that life is a journey and a short one. To enjoy the journey, I need to love myself, appreciate the journey and devour the beauty of life as I proceed to my destination.

2. Never take things at face value. If it is too good to be true, don’t fall for it. It takes intense scrutiny to close a real deal. My dad was a businessperson who failed in business because of this lesson. Dad did not take it seriously, and he lost out severally. He did not want me to re-invent the wheel. My father had failed in my stead.

3. Don’t oversubscribe yourself. Learn to say no! There is only that much you can do within a day with 2 hands. Family chores can play havoc with one’s life. You end up running the show while other members attend to their personal lives. When you fail in life, they forget you were the “jack of all trades” and start casting aspersions on you.

4. One day at a time. Don’t beat yourself up when you cannot reach your daily destination. Tomorrow is another day. If you are alive, you can accomplish that dream. Change your strategy if the dream seems to elude you.

5. Believe in God, believe also in your ability to back God up. Don't be gullible. Yes, with God, all things are possible. But remember, faith without works is dead. You can’t sleep the whole day and pray to prosper in business. Pray, believe and act.

6. The only person you can change is you. Trying to change other people is uphill. Accept them for who they are and change your attitude towards their behaviour. A loud person can’t maintain his loudness in a quiet environment.

7. Be careful of what you say before your enemy. He will use it against you. Whether positive or negative. Give them a reason to long for details about your life. You never know, he might even end up a friend.

8. Pay your parents their dues. They worked hard to get you to your current station. Help them get to theirs. Their station might include ploughing utensils in an African context or a dream house in another context. I share this one with my children! And I am crossing my fingers.

9. Build or buy a house before you buy a car. If you do, where would you park it? My siblings worked hard to satisfy this one. We managed. The challenge is to inculcate it in our children. We are holding on to this lesson and we want them to share it with our grandchildren.

10. Love Yourself. At all costs. If you don’t, who will? We walk and talk the talk without being aware. What we say about ourselves is the gospel truth to those who listen to us. If we walk around scruffy and dirty, we are pronouncing the truth about who and what we are. So be careful how you portray yourself to the world and what you say about yourself instead.

In conclusion, my dad was a snappy dresser, a gentleman who looked amazing even at an old age. He was a positive thinker who was optimistic about life. On his tombstone, an African saying that epitomizes him says: “When an elephant crosses a river, it becomes a calf”. This explains the selflessness of all my fathers’ children, irrespective of their stations in life.

My father believed in all these lessons and many more.

I pray you to study them and learn from this illustrious father from the African shores!

Sleep on, daddy dear- we fondly labelled him as such.