Ten Songs That Epitomize My Weirdo-Traditional, Mishmash Wedding

“Cherish” and “Every Breath You Take” are not included!

I was the girl who always fell too quickly and he was the guy who was slow to trust. That balancing act alone could have torn us apart back when I was 23 and not sure what to make of this cynical 31-year-old I’d somehow fallen for.

I wasn’t exactly known for making good decisions based on instinct and gut feeling back then, so it’s a miracle this one was actually right.

When he proposed, 18 years after we hooked up at that bar he managed (where his band played and I drank Absolut Citron lemon drops and Crown Royal, neat) you could have knocked me over with a feather.

I believe my first words were: “Holy shit! Oh my god, holy shit!” (Followed quickly by “Of course!”)

The cool thing about waiting almost two decades to get married was that we knew exactly what we wanted from our wedding. We were prepared to shrug off the judgments of others, as long as everyone had fun. Music was a huge part of our celebration — complete with a custom playlist.

Our first cut lasted 36 hours, and while we’d have loved to throw a weekend-long party, it simply wasn’t in the budget.

Paring our dream playlist down to the requisite six hours was both agonizing and entertaining. It took several months, while we simultaneously perfected the recipes for our signature cocktails.

We had a plan, of course. First, lounge music, heavy on the Antonio Badalamenti from David Lynch’s TV and movie soundtracks. After that, we moved through the decades, starting in the swing era and progressing joyfully and unapologetically up to present times.

The idea was that members of our family who wouldn’t appreciate the music of the later decades would probably go to bed by the time those tunes rolled around and that anyone willing to stay up late would be expected to open their minds to styles they might not usually hear.

So, for my first “Top however-many” list (thanks to Terry Barr and Jessica Lee McMillan, who inspired me when I first started writing this a few weeks ago) here are some of the songs that immediately come to mind when I think about our wedding.

1. I Don’t Want To Set The World On Fire — The Ink Spots

We originally chose Siouxsie and the Banshees “The Last Beat of My Heart” as our wedding website song. But my father passed away not quite three months after we got engaged, and we felt that using a song with that particular theme would be, perhaps, insensitive to my mother.

We played it at our reception, though, because a party without Siouxsie just seemed wrong.

Ultimately, for the website, we landed on “I Don’t Want To Set The World On Fire”. It aptly described our feelings for each other, it had been included in the Fallout 3 video game my guy thoroughly enjoyed, and my father had very much liked the song as well.

In retrospect, I’m glad it was our final choice.

2. Sleepwalk — Santo and Johnny

We included all sorts of songs to honor all sorts of people, particularly those who were no longer with us — a Sinatra song for my father, an Elvis song for my aunt, a few tunes from my father-in-law’s collection.

This may be common practice at wedding receptions.

But how many people include a song because one of their cats enjoys the music?

Yep, our Emily was still alive back then, and she had a particular propensity for Santo and Johnny. I’ve written about it here in greater detail if you’re amused by such things — how she used to come running down the stairs to our basement lounge when we’d put on this record, and we’d joke that it reminded her of her time, long ago, on the beaches of Waikiki.

3. The Ship Song — Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds

Nick Cave has been a consistent presence on our stereo over the years. It’s hard to describe what his music means to us, both as individuals and as a couple, and we’ve seen him several times together, so this tune seemed a fitting choice for our first dance. It wasn’t a traditional selection, but it wasn’t a traditional reception either.

I’m not known for my dancing abilities. And my husband thinks he can lead, but really, pfft (sorry, honey). We’d never slow-danced together because when would an introverted goth-punk couple have the need to do so, especially in public?

In our basement lounge, a few months before the wedding, we finally gave it a try.

We were pitiful.

One of us apparently heard the beat differently than the other (my husband is a drummer so let’s just leave it at that), and I cried because one of the only traditional things I wanted at my wedding was the first dance.

I’d been dreaming of it since I was a little girl, long before my taste changed from lacy white gowns to black dresses and five-inch skeleton heels.

Eventually, we decided to drop the idea. It seemed like too much stress and trouble, and who needs that on their wedding day?

Except, my husband never removed the song from the playlist we eventually handed to our DJ. When the song began to play, he grabbed my hand and pulled me onto the dance floor. At that moment, it didn’t matter whether we got the steps right or not. I looked into his eyes and melted.

4. Take Your Clothes Off When You Dance — The Mothers of Invention AND Peaches En Regalia — Frank Zappa

Ok, this one’s a twofer, and I’m just going to leave the songs right here. Really, need I say more?

If our friends and family didn’t know we were nuts before they came to our wedding, then I simply don’t know what to tell them.

5. Ring My Bell — Anita Ward

I absolutely love disco, and I (two left feet and all) can’t help but dance when this particular song comes on.

I mean, it’s just HOT, am I right?

An especially sublime memory from my wedding is seeing my cousin Mary boogying down on the dance floor with great enthusiasm when this was playing.

There were so many moments like that— watching my husband and some of his school friends singing along to Pink Floyd’s Lucifer Sam, my mom and my another cousin cutting a rug to a song I can’t recall, and my cousin Jim telling me how awesome it was that we played Fatboy Slim (Praise You) at our wedding reception.

I wish I’d documented all of those moments, that very night, because they’re starting to fade, and I’m not sure my memory is serving me well in all cases.

6. Fairies Wear Boots — Black Sabbath

So I went to the doctor to see what he would give me, He said, “Son, son, you’ve gone too far ’cause smokin’ and trippin’ is all that you do”

You probably don’t know many people who’ve played this tune at their wedding. Neither do I.

This was our compromise song, as we both love heavy rock and metal.

Upon deciding that our family probably couldn’t handle the music of Cradle of Filth (one of our favorite metal bands), we were determined to include Black Sabbath at our wedding reception.

At least this way we could say “But it’s from 1970! It’s a classic!”

7. One Night In Bangkok — Murray Head

Yeah, I know, we’re weird. But how funny is it that my husband and I each still have a 45 record of this song? And that despite growing up in different places and being different ages, we’d always both really liked it?

Did you know that Murray Head played Judas Iscariot on the original concept album for Jesus Christ Superstar?

Did you know that his brother Anthony played Rupert Giles on the TV series Buffy the Vampire Slayer?

Did you know that I love not only 80s music but Jesus Christ Superstar and Buffy the Vampire Slayer?

This was a no-brainer.

8. Lucretia My Reflection — The Sisters of Mercy

It wouldn’t be a Dillon party without a substantial Goth offering, so of course, we needed a Sisters of Mercy song.

If there’s a genre that epitomizes where my husband and I are both most at home, this would likely be it.

I’ve said before that I really feel myself when dressed in my version of Gothic attire, and that having to wear normal business-casual clothes when I’m going to the office? That’s actually my costume, my mask.

9. There Is A Light That Never Goes Out — The Smiths

The Smiths are one of those bands that some people love to hate. My husband and I happen to adore them, but our friends are mixed on the subject.

This song, I admit, was a bit of a jovial “F you” to attendees in the hater camp. It was OUR wedding, after all! Consider it the price of your delicious and carefully-curated free meal, folks.

10. Month of May — Arcade Fire

The night was winding down and we had only a few songs to go when our wedding coordinator pulled the plug. Fortunately, we got to hear this song, which represents our other anniversary, the date we first got together back in 1996.

We continue to celebrate it, even though we’re married now, because those years didn’t just go away.

And that’s why we wanted a wedding playlist that represented all that time we’ve been together and all the aspects of our personalities.

A playlist that represented us as a couple.

Kathryn Dillon is a 40-something Cleveland Heights, Ohio-based author, rekindling her passion for writing after a 20-year hiatus. She resides with her husband and their very spoiled cats in a ridiculously large 1910-built home that they are slowly attempting to renovate. She is a product manager by day and holds an MBA from Roosevelt University and a BS in Magazine Journalism from Ohio University. She believes life should be lived to the fullest, and particularly loves baseball games, craft beer, rock concerts, art museums, and the symphony, not necessarily in that order.