Free AI web copilot to create summaries, insights and extended knowledge, download it at here

Abstract

ues, both of them make an effort to stay curious about the world. We may often disagree on key issues but I never leave without my opinions being put into the context of someone else’s values, priorities and take on life.</p><p id="bbc3"><b>Nap, eat seasonally, locally and in moderation.</b>And be weary of fads and of people promoting them.Both my grandmas have grown their own food most of their lives and understood the power of eating locally and seasonally for their wellbeing. While both of them are partial to some of the newer and fancier seasonings, they tend to avoid fads like the plague and just focus on keeping their food routines simple and delicious.</p><h1 id="5312">On money</h1><p id="848c"><b>Diversify and be a master of a few side hustles. </b>I think of Eastern Europeans as the original hustlers; for centuries, generation after generation witnessed renewed political and economic turmoil and had to make do under challenging circumstances. As a result, being a master of one profession was rarely enough. Grandma Dida was not only a nurse and a small-holder farmer, but also set up shop every weekend in the city markets to sell her produce, building a network of loyal customers. And Grandma Maria didn’t let a lack of formal schooling set her back but turned her cooking skills into sustainable sources of income.</p><p id="3e95"><b>Live frugally and learn to appreciate the beauty of pre-loved things. </b>Both my grandmas still have pieces of furniture that were already old 30 years ago, when I was just a toddler. But they’ve maintained those pieces well and love them for their sturdiness and the memories they evoke. “We bought this set as newlyweds, we were so proud,” my Grandma Dida would reminisce on her good days. “And this was built by your Grandpa Avraam,” my Grandma Maria would say. It’s not long after that family pictures come out of drawers and I feel five years old again, mesmerized by their stories. What’s more, their houses are treasure troves of clean-cut chairs, tables and cupboards reminiscent of Instagramable Scandinavian design.</p><p id="5d06"><b>As a woman, fight for your education and financial independence. </b>And never let anyone tell you what you cannot do. Grandma Dida was brought up by a widowed mother in the difficult years after World War II, when life was tough and households were one bad turn away from poverty. With no male protection, a household of four women had to work hard to make it into the rural world of the 1950s. And Grandma Maria resented all her life not being sent to school because she was a girl. That’s why both of them strongly supported my education and encouraged me to study hard and never stop learning. One of my dearest memories is the proud face of Grandma Dida when she welcomed me after my first week of school; I was wearing my school uniform on a Saturday so she could partake in the experience.</p><h1 id="bfd7">On work</h1><p id="43ed"><b>Don’t care about being liked. Care about doing your best work and cultivating an independence of spirit</b>. As many women, I’ve been socialized into being a good girl, not making a fuss, and not upsetting people. Ironically, my Grandmas didn’t challenge that ed

Options

ucational model; and hey, I never said they weren’t full of contradictions. But when my Grandmas carried themselves in the world, they never let anyone bully them into submission, and they never chased anyone’s approval. In fact, I often saw Grandma Maria give masterclasses in how to take bullies down and Grandma Dida in how to hold your ground with arrogant figures of authority.</p><p id="f88e"><b>Don’t be ideological, but pragmatic and nuanced. </b>Born in the 1930s and 40s, Maria and Dida lived through monarchy, communism, and transition to democracy and capitalism in Romania. They’ve seen the fickleness of ideologies and of their advocates, as well as the poverty, death and despair left behind after each new upheaval. And, like most people of their generation, they perceived ideologies more like a futile, zero sum game than a meaningful way of going through life. Instead, pragmatism and a nuanced understanding of human nature, based on deeds rather than words, made for a more reliable reader of reality. In their long lives, they’ve seen die hard Monarchists changing sides and pleading allegiance to the Communists, men of the cloth living promiscuously, pro-life advocates having secret abortions, and self-proclaimed good Samaritans stealing from the poor. And they’ve learnt to look at the actions and not the words behind the latest school of thought.</p><p id="24d2"><b>Ask yourself this often — will the situation that is stressing you now still matter when you’re 80? </b>I’m anxious about many things — my workload, my health, my professional future etc. And I often let manageable tasks take on a life of their own, bringing me on the brink of a panic attack. Turning to my grandmothers for advice, they remind me that 90 percent of the issues I have now — with bosses, co-workers or friends — will not matter when I’m old and wrinkly. In fact, many will not matter in a year’s time. I’m trying to make more of a habit of asking myself: Will I remember this in my old age? Try it, it’s refreshing!</p><h1 id="323e">On pushing through</h1><p id="33e3"><b>Life is unfair and often unforgivable. But you must carry on regardless. </b>My grandmas would often repeat this Romanian saying whenever I felt defeated by a bad grade, a setback at work or a job rejection: every kick in the butt is a step forward. It may be easier said than done and it may be cruel to say it if you’re facing serious health, personal or financial issues. But take it from two women who have lost parents, husbands, and siblings: as hard as it may be, forward motion is the best kind of motion. Grieve your loss, cry, scream or curse your pain away, but never stop moving forward.</p><h1 id="3516">A parting note</h1><p id="ad02">My grandmothers are not perfect. Far from it. Some may describe them as difficult, demanding, uncompromising and unwilling to pass the baton to the next generation. They’re full of contradictions and had to make tough choices to raise their families. They continue to make mistakes, give unsolicited advice, and take wrong turns. But, in making the best of their lives, they’ve taught me many valuable lessons. Let the ones I shared be their gift to you too.</p></article></body>

Ten Life Lessons From Two Fierce Women

**Photo credit: Eberhard Grossgasteiger on Unsplash**

Turning 32 this August brought on a life crisis of sorts. Broad, heavy questions clouded my anniversary: What makes a good life? Am I wasting my good years? How do I escape the rat race of modern life? And where do I want to go next?

And then it hit me. Rather than turning to self-help books or giving in to my dramatic life crisis, I could turn to two fierce women for some guiding light. They have a combined age of 135 years, lived under monarchy, communism and democracy, lost loved ones and have been fighting chronic diseases for years. I’m talking about my two grandmothers and their hard won life lessons.

Two strong women

Grandma Dida raised me from a grumpy premature baby to a shy first grader. No taller than 5.4 ft, she towered over the family, however, with her boundless energy and naughty sense of humour. A nurse and a small-holder farmer, a mother of three and now grandmother of five, Dida’s nights were measured in 3-4 hours of sleep and her days in more than 14 hours of work. Now aged 75 years, she is old before her time. A series of undiagnosed strokes caused the early onset of Parkinson and dementia. She moves with difficulty and is dependent on others for simple chores. On bad days, she is living in 1974 and asking to be taken back to her childhood home. On good days, she is her old smiley, funny and fierce self. But throughout it all she shines a light in the darkness of a crippling illness.

Grandma Maria is a force of nature in her own right. Going on 81 but with few white hairs to show for it, she has the skin of a woman 20 years her junior, and the posture of a general marching into battle even as she is directing work in her garden. She hasn’t lost her mojo despite breaking her hip a couple of months ago and being dependent on a walking frame and a cane. She still cooks for herself, tends to her chickens and dogs, manages her expenses, dispenses advice — even if unwanted — and puts ridiculous people in their place with ease and no remorse. As of last week, she is also overseeing a small renovation on her property.

In modern terms, both of them are badass. And both of them taught me some important life lessons.

On health

Self-sacrifice is not noble, it will just drive you to an early grave. Put yourself unapologetically first before anyone else. Care for and about your family, work and friends but make it clear that you have a duty to yourself and to your loved ones to prioritize self-care. Grandma Dida learned this lesson the hard way and only when it was too late for her health.

Stay active and keep up with the news, especially in old age. It’s not unusual for both of my Grandmas to ask me my opinion about the latest developments in politics and other national and international affairs. Despite their health issues, both of them make an effort to stay curious about the world. We may often disagree on key issues but I never leave without my opinions being put into the context of someone else’s values, priorities and take on life.

Nap, eat seasonally, locally and in moderation.And be weary of fads and of people promoting them.Both my grandmas have grown their own food most of their lives and understood the power of eating locally and seasonally for their wellbeing. While both of them are partial to some of the newer and fancier seasonings, they tend to avoid fads like the plague and just focus on keeping their food routines simple and delicious.

On money

Diversify and be a master of a few side hustles. I think of Eastern Europeans as the original hustlers; for centuries, generation after generation witnessed renewed political and economic turmoil and had to make do under challenging circumstances. As a result, being a master of one profession was rarely enough. Grandma Dida was not only a nurse and a small-holder farmer, but also set up shop every weekend in the city markets to sell her produce, building a network of loyal customers. And Grandma Maria didn’t let a lack of formal schooling set her back but turned her cooking skills into sustainable sources of income.

Live frugally and learn to appreciate the beauty of pre-loved things. Both my grandmas still have pieces of furniture that were already old 30 years ago, when I was just a toddler. But they’ve maintained those pieces well and love them for their sturdiness and the memories they evoke. “We bought this set as newlyweds, we were so proud,” my Grandma Dida would reminisce on her good days. “And this was built by your Grandpa Avraam,” my Grandma Maria would say. It’s not long after that family pictures come out of drawers and I feel five years old again, mesmerized by their stories. What’s more, their houses are treasure troves of clean-cut chairs, tables and cupboards reminiscent of Instagramable Scandinavian design.

As a woman, fight for your education and financial independence. And never let anyone tell you what you cannot do. Grandma Dida was brought up by a widowed mother in the difficult years after World War II, when life was tough and households were one bad turn away from poverty. With no male protection, a household of four women had to work hard to make it into the rural world of the 1950s. And Grandma Maria resented all her life not being sent to school because she was a girl. That’s why both of them strongly supported my education and encouraged me to study hard and never stop learning. One of my dearest memories is the proud face of Grandma Dida when she welcomed me after my first week of school; I was wearing my school uniform on a Saturday so she could partake in the experience.

On work

Don’t care about being liked. Care about doing your best work and cultivating an independence of spirit. As many women, I’ve been socialized into being a good girl, not making a fuss, and not upsetting people. Ironically, my Grandmas didn’t challenge that educational model; and hey, I never said they weren’t full of contradictions. But when my Grandmas carried themselves in the world, they never let anyone bully them into submission, and they never chased anyone’s approval. In fact, I often saw Grandma Maria give masterclasses in how to take bullies down and Grandma Dida in how to hold your ground with arrogant figures of authority.

Don’t be ideological, but pragmatic and nuanced. Born in the 1930s and 40s, Maria and Dida lived through monarchy, communism, and transition to democracy and capitalism in Romania. They’ve seen the fickleness of ideologies and of their advocates, as well as the poverty, death and despair left behind after each new upheaval. And, like most people of their generation, they perceived ideologies more like a futile, zero sum game than a meaningful way of going through life. Instead, pragmatism and a nuanced understanding of human nature, based on deeds rather than words, made for a more reliable reader of reality. In their long lives, they’ve seen die hard Monarchists changing sides and pleading allegiance to the Communists, men of the cloth living promiscuously, pro-life advocates having secret abortions, and self-proclaimed good Samaritans stealing from the poor. And they’ve learnt to look at the actions and not the words behind the latest school of thought.

Ask yourself this often — will the situation that is stressing you now still matter when you’re 80? I’m anxious about many things — my workload, my health, my professional future etc. And I often let manageable tasks take on a life of their own, bringing me on the brink of a panic attack. Turning to my grandmothers for advice, they remind me that 90 percent of the issues I have now — with bosses, co-workers or friends — will not matter when I’m old and wrinkly. In fact, many will not matter in a year’s time. I’m trying to make more of a habit of asking myself: Will I remember this in my old age? Try it, it’s refreshing!

On pushing through

Life is unfair and often unforgivable. But you must carry on regardless. My grandmas would often repeat this Romanian saying whenever I felt defeated by a bad grade, a setback at work or a job rejection: every kick in the butt is a step forward. It may be easier said than done and it may be cruel to say it if you’re facing serious health, personal or financial issues. But take it from two women who have lost parents, husbands, and siblings: as hard as it may be, forward motion is the best kind of motion. Grieve your loss, cry, scream or curse your pain away, but never stop moving forward.

A parting note

My grandmothers are not perfect. Far from it. Some may describe them as difficult, demanding, uncompromising and unwilling to pass the baton to the next generation. They’re full of contradictions and had to make tough choices to raise their families. They continue to make mistakes, give unsolicited advice, and take wrong turns. But, in making the best of their lives, they’ve taught me many valuable lessons. Let the ones I shared be their gift to you too.