Ten Facts About Being Trans

Summary

A 62-year-old trans woman shares her personal insights and realizations about being transgender, emphasizing the biological nature of gender identity, the non-pathological aspect of being trans, and the challenges and choices faced by transgender individuals, particularly those from older generations.

Abstract

The author, a 62-year-old trans woman, reflects on her journey with gender dysphoria and the profound understanding she has gained about being transgender. She outlines ten key points, beginning with the distinction between gender identity, which is innate, and sex assigned at birth. She emphasizes that being transgender is not a choice or a mental disorder but a biological condition that, if left untreated, can lead to severe emotional distress and even suicide. The author underscores the persistent nature of gender dysphoria and its intensification over time, often exacerbated by societal pressures and personal denial. She notes the potential for positive outcomes with trans-affirming healthcare and the importance of support from understanding family and friends. The piece also touches on the unique challenges faced by baby boomers who grew up in a strictly binary gender world and the guilt and personal cost associated with transitioning later in life. The author concludes with a message of hope, encouraging individuals to find allies and persevere in their search for personal truth and happiness.

Opinions

Gender is an intrinsic part of one's identity, determined before birth, while sex is the physical characteristics present at birth.
Being cisgender means one's gender identity aligns with their sex assigned at birth, whereas being transgender indicates a misalignment.
Gender dysphoria is a symptom of gender suppression and is treatable; it is not a mental disorder but a condition that requires acknowledgment and care.
The struggle with gender dysphoria does not diminish with age; it often intensifies, leading to unbearable mental anguish if not addressed.
Efforts to suppress gender dysphoria can exacerbate the condition, while acceptance and transition can lead to positive outcomes.
Social isolation is a common experience for transgender individuals due to a lack of understanding from family and friends, which can be mitigated by the support of those who do understand.
Transitioning is presented as a necessary step for emotional well-being, despite the potential for significant personal and social costs.
Baby boomers with gender dysphoria face particular challenges due to the rigid gender norms of their time, leading to years of confusion and distress.
The author expresses that guilt associated with gender dysphoria is unwarranted as it is not a chosen condition.
The decision to transition later in life involves a complex balance of personal joy against the potential loss of lifetime achievements and relationships.
The author advocates for resilience, hope, and the pursuit of a supportive community to navigate the journey of understanding and embracing one's gender identity.

Over the last three years since my gender dysphoria exploded out of my soul (after 62 years), I have come up with my personal top 10 transgender facts:

1. Gender is how you were hardwired in utero, and sex is the physical genitalia you were born with.

2. You are cisgender if your gender matches your sex assigned at birth. Transgender is when they do not match.

3. Being trans is a biological condition that can lead to positive outcomes with trans-affirming healthcare. Being trans is not a mental disorder. Gender dysphoria is a symptom of gender suppression, and it can be treated. It’s like a red warning sign that gets worse over time. Non-treatment of gender dysphoria can lead to worsening depression and emotional pain. It can even lead to suicide.

2. Being trans is not a choice. For example, in trans people who are assigned male at birth, it is hardwired before birth, and then gets buried under layers of male hormones, male socialization, gender programming and personal denial.

3. The problem is that gender dysphoria does not go away as you get older. It just gets stronger as those layers begin to wear away, and the mental anguish that it causes becomes unbearable.

4. The irony with gender dysphoria is that it appears to worsen in direct proportion to one’s efforts to fight it.

5. Gender dysphoria makes the individual a social outcast. Family and friends generally lack the understanding to support, help or accept the reality of being transgender. In many instances they do the complete opposite and attack, criticize and shun. But those who do understand will show you a heart that will make everyone else fade away.

6. Without an adequate outlet, gender dysphoria is a corrosive, emotional force with limited options. Ultimately, it is a choice of transitioning, or lifelong pain (or even death).

7. If you’re a baby boomer, you know that our world was either male or female, militantly. If you’re a baby boomer who’s also trans, you’ve spent years not understanding what’s wrong with you, but have always had a sense of shame, discomfort, and distress.

8. On top of everything else, gender dysphoria places the entire weight of guilt on your shoulders — for something you didn’t choose.

9. You spend a lifetime in denial, making it impossible to explain to your spouse when you finally understand. If you don’t tell your wife, you’re a sneak, and possibly a liar. If you do tell, you have selfishly destroyed her life, unless her love is strong and she has the heart of a warrior.

10. When you finally understand your gender dysphoria, it comes at a time when transitioning will have the greatest personal cost, and can destroy all that you have accomplished in a lifetime. You have to recognize the opportunity for joy that transitioning offers as compensation for the cost of that change.

Do not give up hope. Find allies, and be patient as you find your own answer.

Ten Facts About Being Trans

As a 62 year old trans woman, here’s what I’ve realized

Over the last three years since my gender dysphoria exploded out of my soul (after 62 years), I have come up with my personal top 10 transgender facts: