Teenager’s addiction to gadgets

Why does he/she spend all the time on the phone?

This is a relevant question for most parents of teenagers.

First, it’s worth figuring out what “constantly” means? Often “all the time” means no more than “when I see.” But we don’t see children all the time. At the same time, we miss that children still go to school, classes, communicate with friends, do homework, in a word, do many things that require time.

But let’s assume that “constantly” is still objective, for example, during family leisure time the child did not let go of the gadget. What then? Then you need to look for the reason. There are usually two reasons: the child is bored and is “killing” time on the phone, or he is more comfortable in virtual life than in real life and he is “hiding” in the phone.

The first reason: children do not know how to entertain themselves — the scourge of our time. But it is not time that is to blame for this, but we, the parents. We first strive to create a fairy tale life for a child, acting not so much as parents but as animators, and then we don’t know how to teach him to find activities for himself.

Therefore, from an early age, the child should be involved in doing household chores that he can do: cleaning his play space, sleeping place, buying groceries in the store, helping to care for younger brothers/sisters, helping elderly relatives. Do not interfere when the child is keen on playing, and do not impose your games on him, and certainly do not fill every free minute of the child with something “useful”.

With the second reason, everything is much more complicated and to solve it, the help of a specialist is often required. Since the child often hides from his own family, being sure that he is not understood, not valued, and no one needs him. This situation usually arises if parents devalue the child’s hobbies, experiences, tastes, friends, lifestyle, and constantly criticize him and his actions. An important circumstance in the life of every family is maximum support for the safe and useful hobbies of a son or daughter, providing a comfortable psychological environment and developmental space.

A teenager can also hide in a gadget from school or peers with whom relationships do not work out.

The solution to the problem lies in the enormous potential and healing properties of parental, especially maternal, love and attention. Communicate with your child. A lot, gently, openly. Build trusting relationships with your children so that they do not hide from their problems on social networks, and are not afraid to share their experiences with you, the parents.

From kindergarten age, in the first minutes of meeting a parent, a child strives to tell all the most important things that happened to him that day. Give him your attention at this moment, reject the incoming call for these few minutes. Clarify something from the story, repeat the child’s last phrases — show your involvement in the conversation and “emphasize” its importance. “Children will listen to us when they see that we listen to them.” If something from the child’s story alarms you, do not rush to criticize and describe pictures of a terrible future. It’s better to return to this moment a little later, in a calm environment, using examples of similar situations or a story from your own childhood. Using these simple recommendations can help you build trusting relationships with your children.