Use these techniques to help tame your anxiety
We are the masters of our emotions and we can use that mastery to learn how to tame our anxiety.
by: E.B. Johnson
Living in the modern world can leave us feeling stressed and anxious. Anxiety seems to be everywhere in the world around us, and it has an uncanny way of isolating us while causing us to lose touch with our authentic sense of self and the things that make us happy. If not managed carefully, anxiety can become the master of your life. That’s why it’s important to take your emotions to hand and learn the best techniques that can calm your feelings of unease.
If you’re being plagued by feelings of stress or anxiety, you can learn to reframe your thinking and be happy again, but it takes some getting in touch with the real you and learning how to readjust the way you approach the world around you. Anxiety is a tough hurdle to overcome, but you can learn how to tame and take the edge off your anxiety with a few simple techniques. Get back to being happy by learning how to take control of your thoughts and your emotions again.
What is anxiety?
Anxiety can be summed up as feelings of tension or stress that cause us to feel on-edge or uneasy. Like all our other emotions, anxiety can come and go in varying degrees of strength and have different effects on both our internal and external perceptions.
Our anxieties can be something that only plague us from time-to-time, or they can become a serious mental health problem that undermines our confidence, happiness and intimate relationships. If you want to overcome the anxiety that’s plaguing your mind and your life, you have to learn to understand it from the inside out.
The difference between having anxiety and feeling anxious.
I feel I’d be remiss without taking a second here to note that there is a difference between feeling anxious and suffering with a diagnosable anxiety disorder. Though the term “I have anxiety” is tossed around and used seemingly interchangeably with just feeling anxious, the truth is that the two are very, very different realities.
All humans experience some degree of anxiety. Nerves and anxiousness keep us safe, and protect us from people and situations that are potentially dangerous or undermining. Feeling a little anxious before a big meeting can be a good thing, but when that anxiety begins to take a major physical toll on your mind, body and relationships — that’s when you begin to get into the territory of an actual anxiety disorder.
Those with true anxiety disorders are disrupted — in many ways — by their anxious feelings. With an anxiety disorder, your mind turns the stress of everyday situations up to 11, and turns your emotions into an all-consuming monster that eats you alive from the inside out. When you have an anxiety disorder, there’s a disconnect in your thinking and the way you view danger and risk. Anxiety disorders can manifest in a number of ways, but they’re always debilitating and always require a deeper look.
How anxiety wrecks our lives.
Whether you are suffering from one of the many diagnosable anxiety disorders, or you are just stressed to the max from chaos at home and work — there are a number of ways that this unease can undermine our mental and physical wellbeing. Overcoming your anxiety starts with knowing how to spot the signs so you can start making a plan for a better tomorrow.
Aches and pains: Anxiety can leave you stressed out and feeling on edge, but it can also lead to a rise in aches and pains, as well as muscle tension. Walking around in constant pain takes a major toll on our mental health, and can lead to angry outbursts and social isolation.
Drop in libido: As humans, our sex lives are important (to many of us). Stress and anxiety, however, can cause us to lose interest in this intimate pastime, and alienate us from our partners and some of the relationships that are most important to us. A libido drop, too, can also lead to increased feelings of irritability or anger — social withdrawl as well. Intimacy can be of great benefit when we know how to use it.
Sleep disturbances: When you’re feeling uneasy or anxious, it cause major disturbances to your sleep, which further disrupts your mood and emotions. Anxiety can make it hard to fall asleep, but it can also make it hard to stay asleep. Having a lot of chaos clogging up our minds makes it hard to unplug and relax the way we need in order to truly thrive and succeed.
Changes in behavior: Those who are suffering with feelings of anxiety often exhibit drastic or unpredictable changes in behavior. This comes on the back of the number of others symptoms they’re attempting to navigate, and can lead to further social isolation as well as an increase in feelings of depression and hopelessness.
Digestive and weight issues: One of the less recognized forms of anxiety taking its toll is digestive and weight issues. When our nerves are frayed, we often find ourselves turning to food (or away from it) leading to fluctuations in weight and even shifts in the way our digestive tracks operate. These digestive and weight issues can go on to lead to things like heart disease, so it’s an important symptom to be on the lookout for.
The best techniques to tame your anxiety.
If you’re suffering with a general state of unease — or anxiety caused by a (one-off) stressful circumstance at home or at work — you can learn to tame that anxiety by utilizing a few simple techniques. It’s human to feel nervous, but you can retrain your brain by learning how to do things like self-sooth, become present and dropping the social comparisons.
1. Focus on your own journey
A lot of the anxiety we experience comes at the hands of our obsession with the people around us. We are endlessly concerned with what our friends, neighbors and co-workers are doing, and in that we can get overwhelmed in the details of both the past and the future.
In order to calm to unease and still your mind, you have to learn how to focus on your own journey and be present in the current moment. Though you may not feel confident right now in this moment, you have to tell yourself that you are the master of your own destiny and emotions, forcing yourself to focus only on what you can do — right now in this moment — to change things for the better.
Build this habit by breaking your major goals down into smaller chunks, further defining each step until you have an actionable list of the steps you can take, not tomorrow, but right now. Not only is focusing on your own journey a relief, learning to be present helps boost the dopamine in your brain, making you feel better and further empowered. Get out of your negative patters by taking control of your mind and your focus.
2. Learn how to self-soothe
Self-soothing is a set of coping strategies that allow you to engage and involve your physical and emotional senses in such a way as to lead to healing, recognition, or resolution. There are many different types of self-soothing, and they can vary from engaging in group therapies, to creating a mindful journaling practice. When it comes to self-soothing, there is no right or wrong way to do it. In all counts, it’s incredible for soothing the anxious and troubled mind.
You can start a self-soothing practice by setting aside 20–25 minutes each day. Find a safe and quiet space (where you won’t be interrupted) and set a timer. Spend time focusing on how you’re feeling and what is making you feel that way. Think about what you really want and zero in on that. Then, spend the last 15–20 minutes doing an activity that makes you feel good, like listening to music, watching your favorite program, or checking out a live comedy special.
This kind of technique allows us to rewire our brains and transform our negative emotions (anxiety) into positive ones. Doubly, this allows us to get in touch with our feelings in a way that allows us to see them as a safe and manageable thing. Only when we get comfortable with facing how we’re feeling — as well as facing what we truly want — can we unravel the complex ball of thoughts, emotions and unmet desires that cause unease in our lives.
3. Drop the social comparisons
One of the reasons we find ourselves more anxious than ever before is modern’s society’s obsession with social comparisons. The human brain is a tricky thing, and it naturally tends to think of things in a hierarchy. When you compare and thus come to view yourself as weaker in this hierarchical thinking, it actually causes your body to release cortisol (the stress hormone) which has a number of damaging effects on both our mental and physical wellbeing.
Drop the social comparisons by reminding yourself that you are as deserving and worthy as anyone else in the world around you. Stop putting yourself down, and stop putting other people down too. You don’t need to be better than anyone else, and they certainly aren’t better than you. Rebuild your social standing in your own mind and remember that we’re all just doing the best that we can.
If you really struggle with social comparisons, try taking a break from social media and giving yourself the space you need to rest and recharge. In today’s plugged in society, we’re encouraged to compare ourselves constantly with those around us; creating invisible, toxic and never-ending competitions that leave us feeling anxious, isolated and hopeless.
Putting it all together…
Living with stress and anxiety isn’t easy, but it can be done with some compassion, understanding and a reworking of the way we think and approach our desires and emotions. If you want to kick your anxiety to the curb, learn how to spot the signs of an anxious mind (and body) before it has the change to wreck your mental fortitude. Only you can rewire the way you think. Only you can choose the happiness that you’re seeking right now in this present moment.
Focus on your own journey and learn how to live in and focus on the present moment. Stop being so concerned with what’s going on in the future, and zero-in on your own journey. Make sure you’re only spending your time and worry on things you can control. If you still can’t chill, develop a self-soothing routine that allows you to unplug and recharge before your emotions push you to the edge. Above all else, however, drop the social comparisons and learn how to live in line with you own truth and your own desires (rather than those of others.) Feeling anxious is unpleasant and unnerving, but you can choose to be a little better each and every day. Are you ready to make that choice? Or would you rather stay stuck and scared? Look in the mirror. That’s the only person responsible for how you feel today.
