Gun control

Talk To Kids About Gun Safety — 5 Smart Parenting Tips

This is still as relevant as ever

Iwrote this a year ago. Sadly, it is as relevant as ever. I bet you hardly even noticed there was another school shooting at Santa Clarita in California in November 2019. James Corden made a short video. Nobody was talking about it as everybody was engrossed in the Trump impeachment hearings. You can see Corden’s video testimony here.

The words of one of the survivors, Madi, sums up the situation perfectly

“Of course it was very hard, and a traumatic experience. But with the state of America right now, with gun control not being strict enough, with kids being able to access guns so easily, it didn’t surprise me.” — Madi, school shooting survivor.

A survivor, Sidney Ho, from the Parkland school shooting last year wrote a beautifully moving poem after that traumatic event.

This was our home But you turned off the lights Broke through our windows And robbed us of life This was our home But you tore down the walls Stole all that we loved With hope that we’d fall But a home is a home And to live is to fight We’ll build a new window And search for new light.

When your kids ask you

Sooner or later, your kids will ask you about gun violence. It is everywhere so you cannot avoid this issue. We need to talk to kids about gun safety for their sakes and our own peace of mind.

Our kids will be only too aware of it. They may be asked to take part in a lockdown drill at school. On TV, there will be the usual coverage and alarming scenes flash across the screen. As they become older, they will be able to absorb some scary data.

There were 340 mass shootings in 2018 — that is about one a day! 370 people were killed. The number of people killed by gun violence in the USA is around 30,000 a year. That is ten times the number of victims in the Twin Towers attack in 2001.

Kids will come across guns in their friends’ homes — there is the frightening statistic that one in three Americans possesses a gun or firearm.

The rights and wrongs of gun ownership are not the issues here.

The real problem is that guns are not toys and are made to maim and kill.

They are weapons of warfare but they are more frequently used for homicides and suicides.

It is ironic to note that the organization called Moms Demand Action for Gun Sense in America and the National Rifle Association give the same advice to kids when they see or find a gun at home:-

• Don’t touch the firearm
• Leave the area immediately
• Tell a parent/adult

But when we need to talk to kids about gun safety, there are a lot more issues involved. Here are some things we need to consider and then take appropriate action.

Gun Violence and Refugees in the News

It is a good idea to limit kids’ and teens’ exposure to tragic news events. It seems to me that there is far too much scaremongering going on. Journalists and news media should be giving hard facts and reducing the tragic impact. The kids’ world is smaller than we think and we should not seek to enlarge it too much.

This is the view of Steven Marans who is Director of the National Center for Children Exposed to Violence at Yale University. His advice is to think of when we were teenagers. There were other more pressing matters such as homework, sports and peer relationships which were occupying our minds at the time.

Get things into perspective. You can reassure your kids they are safe when traveling to school and moving around their neighborhood. I have written an article on The Good Men Project explaining how you can do this.

As regards the suffering of refugees and people in war-torn areas, encourage your kids to be generous and caring. Get them organized and start collecting toys and clothes which can be taken to the nearest charity collection point.

Talk to kids about gun safety

Here are some 5 parenting tips you might like to follow.

1. Toy guns or not?

You will have to decide whether you want your kids to play with toy guns. The fact that toy guns look so much like the real thing is worrying. We have had tragic episodes where even the police cannot tell the difference between a toy gun and a real one.

If you are against guns at home, you will have to let your views be known to other parents where your children play. The fact is that the Pew Research Center study found that 42% of US citizens live in a gun-owning household.

2. If you live in one of those households…

If you do have a gun at home you will need to take the usual precautions. The firearm is locked away, unloaded, and can only be accessed by yourself. You might want to avail of quick –access safes. Biometrics can now help us to access these through the use of fingerprints, voice, or eye. This is one safe way of keeping a loaded gun for use in emergencies. You can protect your home without putting your children in danger.

3. Are guns in your friend’s house where your kids hang out?

If you feel that the presence of guns in a home where your children play is a threat, ask about the precautions. You could even ask to see where it is kept. If the replies are vague, then you can suggest an alternative venue like your house where children can play. You can politely point out that medicines and other dangerous items are usually locked away safely.

4. Guns should not be a taboo subject

There are many child safety issues such as deaths in swimming pools, for example. Then there are all the issues relating to accidents in the home, electricity, and cooking.

Why should guns be excluded?

As parents, we cannot avoid having to talk to kids about gun safety.

5. Are we all on the same page?

Pediatricians, doctors, teachers, and parents all need to be on the same page about child safety. It is ludicrous that there is a bar on doctors in 3 States (Montana, Missouri, and Florida) discussing gun ownership and safety. These are known as “doctor gag order laws”. It seems that there are 8 other states who toying with the idea of a similar ban.

Even more startling is the fact that:-

Some people convicted of hate crimes in the US can still legally buy or possess guns.

There are dark facts staring us in the face. We realize that the number of homicides and suicides where guns are used is still staggering.

To sum up, I think our message needs to be one of reassurance and tolerance.

We should help our kids to live safely but also make them aware that the country needs to be more secure.

“You’re in America now,” I said. “Our idea of diplomacy is showing up with a gun in one hand and a sandwich in the other and asking which you’d prefer.” ― Jim Butcher, Turn Coat