Talk to Her

It is the right time

Do you often talk about your feelings? Do you share them with the people who are important to you? Not much, I guess. Yet your feelings are a very important part of your life and they shape your future. You choose a partner, a job, a house and friends because you vibe similarly, and you are connected through emotions.

So why is it so difficult to talk about them?

Some months ago, I was assisting a person in the hospital. She was waiting in her hospital room for her turn to undergo surgery. There was another woman there, who was being operated on just before her. While the woman was away, we noticed that her husband was sitting in a corner and he seemed quite lost. We tried to speak to him, hoping to help him feel better.

He appeared to be the typical person who never speaks about personal matters. Yet, he must have been quite worried because he started telling us, three women he had never met, about the intense love he had for his wife, how sorry he felt in that moment, and how he could not even think of a life without her.

It was heartbreaking and so sweet that we asked him: “Have you ever talked to her about it?” “No”, he said. Apparently, he never told his wife how deeply in love he was with her. “Tell her” we advised him “She will be very happy to hear that, and you will feel closer”.

Then his wife returned to the room. The doctor said that the operation had gone well, but she had still been under anesthetic and could hardly stay awake. Yet her husband was ready, he sat by her side and finally decided to open his heart. He told her how much he loved her, ever since meeting her.

The poor woman continued to doze off and wake up repeatedly, she was so surprised that she made real efforts to stay awake and understand if it was real or if she was dreaming. She seemed shocked, more by his words than by the surgery. From the corner of the room, we watched the entire scene and we ended up crying and laughing at this not so intimate moment.

It was perhaps not the ideal time to speak, but it happened, nonetheless.

Are you also waiting for your wife to be at the hospital before speaking to her? Do you think ‘I will tell her tomorrow’, or worse ‘She knows that I love her’? Yes, she knows. She realizes it from your actions like emptying the garbage, preparing breakfast, taking care of the house and the children.

Actions speak more loudly than words, but they are not words.

If you are shy or find it extremely difficult, you might write a little note for her birthday, or for another occasion. Please do it, a woman needs to hear or read sweet words once in a while.

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