Tales Of A Father — How Do I See It?

What being a father taught me

Greetings, everyone!

I have a 5-year-old daughter who inspires and motivates me daily not just to be a better father, but also a better version of myself. Today I want to share with you 5 things I do for healthy parenting:

Leading by example

Believe it or not, children are highly perceptive of their surroundings — you don’t need to mold your kids or try to make them do the things you won’t do yourself.

I am sure you’ve heard about the power of leading by example. Whenever I go somewhere with my daughter, whether it’s shopping or visiting, I never tell her “Say hello”, “Say goodbye”, “Say whatever”, I just say it myself so she can hear it. Sometimes she ends up following my example and says it back, yet, there are times when she doesn’t, and that’s totally okay, I don’t make a big deal out of it. Even we, as adults, have bad days or moods when we get in or out of a taxi without saying “hello” and “goodbye”, or perhaps we enter shops and don’t even say “hi”, rather we just pay for our stuff and leave.

Let’s not forget, we’re human beings, so why should kids take the role of robots when it comes to greeting people? Let’s allow our kids to express themselves while leading by example — everything else will follow naturally.

Listening

It’s all about the way we listen to our children. Whenever my daughter has a problem and I’m on the street or a bus and I can see her wanting to tell me something, I always kneel to be at the same level with her face so I can look into her eyes and she can look into mine. Whatever she has to tell me, she’s now very confident and secure. She trusts me with everything, even if it’s something embarrassing or serious. She feels safe because I went to her level and nobody else is there, just me and her.

We obviously don’t have to kneel whenever we talk to our children, because we might end up walking on our knees only.

All I’m saying is when our kids are trying to communicate something more serious or a problem, pay more attention than you would do normally, it will make them feel safer.

Playing

Now, this is my favorite part of having a kid, honestly. I feel like whenever we go out to parks with children, we ought to play with them as well, instead of remaining glued to our phones, watching them from time to time. Go wait for them at the bottom of the slide, run with them, play hide n’ seek — this is your time with your kids. The day will come when they will play alone and you will definitely miss your kids saying “Mom, Dad, would you like to play together?”

Whenever I take my daughter out in the parks or on picnics, I always play with her as well, it’s our best time together and I even go on the slide with her. A lot of parents think I’m crazy but hell, I’m only 27 and I still miss the slide.

No room for embarrassment

Are your kids sometimes too loud on a bus? Or singing songs in a taxi? Or laughing and making jokes in crowded areas or when you’re taking them for walks? That’s totally ok, let them express every single emotion. I know we should teach our kids to behave “normally”, but what does normal even mean? Living in a society where laughing or being a little loud is perceived as shameful or embarrassing? Then I am definitely living on the wrong planet! Whenever I’m with my daughter and she does all that, not only do I let her, I also sing along with her.

People are too sensitive nowadays and mistake bad behavior for feeling free to do whatever we feel like doing.

Time over toys

I’ll say this loud and clear every time I have the chance. TIME OVER TOYS! I mean it, your kids might love a toy for a few hours, but they would rather spend those hours with you and feel valued by you.

I rarely buy toys for my daughter and whenever I visit her or I take her over for the weekend, the only thing she wants is me. When I open that door she’s hugging me with all her love.

Spend time with your kids and if you’re gonna buy toys, buy useful toys and play together. There are a lot of creative toys that can be used to play with together. Research some and team up with your kids, they’ll love it!

There are a lot more points that can be written here, but I won’t make this too long to read ’cause then people will fast-scroll it, so, enjoy!