Tales from the Kingdom of Tyndall #2

A young woman is lost with no recollection of where she is or how she got there. She pulls at the strings of her memories in an effort to put the pieces back together.

Read: Part 1

She woke up with a start. Her eyes shot open, her mind immediately sending her into a panic. Where was she? What happened? Her heart quickened, her breath coming in desperate gasps as the full panic took hold.

Just breathe, she told herself. Breathe. Breathe. She slowly began to relax and rested her arms on the ground. Her hands felt something soft yet coarse, and she dug her hands into the ground, realizing that she was laying on her back in sand. She let her feet and hands sink into the sand and the feeling of sand washing over her feet, ankles, hands, and wrists seemed to wash over her emotions as well.

With her heart rate returning to a normal level, Josephine took one more deep breath and sat up. Not a full ten feet away from her, was the ocean. Her mind raced. Where am I? How did I get here? These questions and more flooded her thoughts. I am soaked, she thought. Why? The multitude of questions started to overwhelm her again. Josephine quickly laid down again in the sand.

She closed her eyes. And repeated what had worked before, letting the sand calm her. After a long while, she tried to organize her thoughts. One thing at a time. What do you remember? Think. What do you remember? Think. Think.

She repeated this to herself and finally she started to get flashes appearing briefly in her mind. She saw herself looking at a mirror, wearing a soft red dress and a white corset. Her hands flew to her body, examining what she was currently wearing. It was a different outfit, for which she said a quick prayer of thanks. She couldn’t stand having to wear either a dress or a corset.

She was currently wearing her typical riding clothes. Had she been riding today? Think. Think. Think, she again told herself, willing more images to come into her mind. Why did I let myself become so distracted by the clothes? More memories might have come.

As she laid there, waiting for more memories to materialize, she realized how hot it was becoming, the sun beating down on her. Her clothes now just damp, not soaked. The sand was becoming warm to the touch as well.

Josephine stood up and looked behind her. She saw a rocky hillside leading away from the beach dotted with a tree every so often. Taking that as her next thing to do, she half walked and half climbed up the rocky hill until she was underneath a tree, which gave her at least a little shade. There she sat down again, staring out over the water. She kept her focus on the horizon, as panic began to threaten again. She didn’t even know which body of water this was — she could be anywhere. Don’t think about that. Find something and focus on it.

She had always struggled with keeping her nerves in check. Ever since she was a child she remembered having these moments where she just panicked. She had learned how to deal with some of it, how to see it coming, what to do to stay calm. But she was going to need all of those tricks and more to stave off the panic in this situation.

She was a young woman all alone, lost. Not just lost. Lost with no recollection of where she could even be lost. No, it was there… She just had to find it. This had happened before, too. Moments when, while her body was trying to deal with the fear wanting to burst out of her, she couldn’t focus on anything else. She needed patience. She needed to stay calm. Once she was able to do that, the memories, the good sense would come back.

She picked out a seagull flying over the water and followed it. Focused on only the seagull. It glided over the water, flying closer to the water before pulling up and circling around. The bird dove closer to water again before following the same flight pattern it had just carved out of the sky. Finally, on the third pass, the gull found what it was looking for and pulled up with a generous-sized fish hanging from its mouth.

She watched the gull a little longer, her panic completely forgotten. And the flashes started again. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes as moments came flooding back to her. She was in the red dress, and she was dancing. She was being swept around the dance floor by a handsome young man. Carlson. Yes, at the summer ball in Berton. Her face beamed as they continued twirling their way across the floor. The song ended and they took their leave of the dance floor as the orchestra started a waltz. Two girls rushed up to her, talking excitedly and Carlson excused himself.

There was a break in the images in her mind. She pulled her knees up to her chin and breathed calmly. In and out, in and out. A quick picture of herself, adjusting her dress, making her breasts stand out more than they already did. Then, a new image, as Carlson kissed her urgently, her back against a bookcase in the library.

Emotions came flooding back to her as she remembered her desire for him in that moment.

Their hands flew to each other’s clothing, but then they had stopped. Why? What had happened? She couldn’t remember, her mind was clouded.

She leaned back against the tree, looking up to the sky. What had she been thinking, kissing him like that? Her mom would have had her head. Guess it didn’t matter now, did it. She didn’t even know where she was. Mom couldn’t yell at her now. A chuckle slipped past her lips as she thought of her mother’s reaction to her precious daughter being alone in the library with a man.

Her parents were proper. They were a lord and lady of Berton. Any daughter of theirs would act appropriately and display the manner of a lady. Attend the dances, learn how to address people of different stations properly, and which fork to use when. These things were of no interest to Josephine. She played the part, because she had to. But she would much prefer a day out riding than a day sipping tea with the ladies of Berton.

Tea. That word sent shocking revelations flowing through her brain. She had turned down an invite to a tea party, much to the chagrin of her mother. Instead she went for a ride. She had left the stables early that morning. So if she was wearing these close still, that must have been this morning.

She was starting to put the pieces together, as she had done in similar situations. Last night she was dancing at the ball. A few more things came to her as she focused on last night. She had danced multiple times before Carlson had swept her off her feet. And then their passionate moments in the library. Before…Before…Before, there were voices outside the door, stopping them from going any further. Then she had excused herself, putting an end to the evening.

In the morning she was at the stables, before most were awake. She had gone for a leisurely ride, across her parents’ holdings. She remembered stopping at the river before turning the horse toward the docks. Then what? What happened next…

She waited. Breathed. Stayed relaxed.

And waited.

Nothing more came to her, like turning a page only to find it blank.

“Where am I?” She said to the wind. A wordless, silent, soft breeze was her only answer.