Taking Rejection Badly

Online Searching for a Lover

“I hope you find someone who will appreciate you,” I texted a potential lover on OkCupid. I was trying to let him down easy.

Was I vain? Of course. I had the wrong guy at home. Overweight, receding hairline. I didn’t need the wrong guy in an affair. Plenty of men looking. I had choices.

I needed a man who would make me feel the moistness in my underwear. And, he wasn’t. Let’s just put it gently.

Most men were gracious when rejected.

“Got it… let me know if things don’t work out.”

“Good luck.”

“I hope you are happy.”

“Damn my timing is off.”

“Good for you!”

“I hope you find what you need.”

I hope so too.

This looking for a lover was a process. It was time consuming to answer the barrage of responses.

“What do you want?” they’d ask.

“I want a long-term lover. No guilt. No flakiness.”

“Sounds perfect. That’s what I’m looking for.”

I believe you.

I believed nothing.

What kind of man do I want?

The kind of man who would be a gentleman even while being shot down. No sniping. No insults. A man who acted like a grown-up.

My OkCupid guy texted like a petulant child.

“I have many who do appreciate me, as hard as that might be for you to believe.”

Ah, ok.

“Some of them considerably more conventionally attractive than you I suspect. But for some ridiculous reason I find many qualities more interesting, sexier and more of a turn-on than looks.”

Huh?

He doesn’t even know what I look like. I never sent him pictures.

He insulted me? And he wants to get laid?

He continued, “I guess I’m just crazy.”

Ya think?

He had more to say.

“And, parting shot I promise, your decision not to ‘appreciate’ me based on one stupid picture is really really ridiculous.”

Not so ridiculous if I wasn’t attracted to you. This was about sex. I needed to visualize fucking. And that wasn’t going to happen because this guy looked like Kermit the Frog. Bald, same jaw line, skinny. I’m sure your wife is thrilled to have you in bed.

Nope, not feeling it. I looked at his wall of text in the blue boxes and shook my head.

Dodged a bullet.

Fucking out of network is tough, dude. Life sucks and it’s not fair. I get it. If you acted sweet and sane, you might have a shot even with your lack of hair and body. But noooo, you didn’t. Being nasty wasn’t going to score you a lover.

Your stunt made the other idiots shine brighter.

Hate to break it to you.

Meeting the man of my dreams wasn’t likely, but meeting the man I could spend a few hours lolling around in bed with was doable. There were plenty of men looking.

I would find one eventually, I was sure of it.

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