Take the Zen Internal Journey to Happiness — Death of Your Identity & Rebirth of Your Essence

Take the first step towards true happiness by letting go of your old identity and embracing your essence

Freedom and (everlasting) happiness come from the death of your identity and the expression of your essence.

This has a domino effect.

That one big thing that triggers multiple lasting significant changes in all areas of your life.

The ancient Zen master’s teachings transcended religious philosophies, even of their own, and penetrated through the veil of self-sabotage via powerful stories.

The following 3 Zen stories unlock the ultimate secrets to knowing your true Self.

1. Not Far from Buddhahood

A university student while visiting Gasan asked him: “Have you ever read the Christian Bible?”

“No, read it to me,” said Gasan.

The student opened the Bible and read from St. Matthew: “And why take ye thought for raiment? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow. They toil not, neither do they spin, and yet I say unto you that even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these… Take therefore no thought for the morrow, for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself.”

Gasan said: “Whoever uttered those words I consider an enlightened man.”

The student continued reading: “Ask and it shall be given you, seek and ye shall find, knock and it shall be opened unto you. For everyone that asketh receiveth, and he that seeketh findeth, and to him that knocketh, it shall be opened.”

Gasan remarked: “That is excellent. Whoever said that is not far from Buddhahood.”

This Zen parable highlights 2 critical points on your path to expressing who you are in the world.

1. Bible passage — Nature doesn’t try to be anything than what it is. Things in nature grow according to their nature. The lilies neither toil nor spin. They don’t harvest cheat codes nor implement sexy habits. Your limited identities are created around habits and techniques. They cover up your vulnerability and stop you from feeling. But they are not your essence.

2. Gasan — What I love about some Eastern teachers is they don’t care about where the lesson originates from. The Truth is the Truth. Irrespective of where it comes from. Buddhahood here refers to sitting in your essence. Develop the insight to know what is poor advice and what is relevant and helpful.

What is helpful?

Understand the paradoxical nature of change. You cannot become something that you are not.

Trying to be something you are not will require continual forceful effort. This type of effort is required to keep the made-up identity in place.

Relax in the present moment and be a human being, not a human doing.

Act apart from personal biases by being open to the idea that you are susceptible to personal biases, reflect on how your personal story influences your judgment, be inclusive, not exclusive, and be fair to others and yourself.

2. Stingy in Teaching

A young physician in Tokyo named Kusuda met a college friend who had been studying Zen. The young doctor asked him what Zen was.

“I cannot tell you what it is,” the friend replied, “but one thing is certain. If you understand Zen, you will not be afraid to die.”

“That’s fine,” said Kusuda. “I will try it. Where can I find a teacher?”

“Go to the master Nan-in,” the friend told him.

So Kusuda went to call on Nan-in. He carried a dagger nine and a half inches long to determine whether the teacher was afraid to die.

When Nan-in saw Kusuda, he exclaimed: “Hello, friend. How are you? We haven’t seen each other for a long time!”

This perplexed Kusuda, who replied: “We have never met before.”

“That’s right,” answered Nan-in. “I mistook you for another physician who is receiving instruction here.”

With such a beginning, Kusuda lost his chance to test the master, so reluctantly he asked if he might receive instruction.

Nan-in said: “Zen is not a difficult task. If you are a physician, treat your patients with kindness. That is Zen.”

Kusuda visited Nan-in three times. Each time, Nan-in told him the same thing. “A physician should not waste time around here. Go home and take care of your patients.”

It was not clear to Kusuda how such teaching could remove the fear of death. So on the fourth visit, he complained: “My friend told me that when one learns Zen, one loses his fear of death. Each time I come here, you tell me to take care of my patients. I know that much. If that is your so-called Zen, I am not going to visit you anymore.”

Nan-in smiled and patted the doctor. “I have been too strict with you. Let me give you a koan.” He presented Kusuda with Joshu’s Mu to work over, which is the first mind-enlightening problem in the book called The Gateless Gate.

Kusuda pondered this problem of Mu (No-Thing) for two years. At length, he thought he had reached certainty of mind. But his teacher commented: “You are not in yet.”

Kusuda continued in concentration for another yet and a half. His mind became placid. Problems dissolved. No-Thing became the truth. He served his patients well and, without even knowing it, he was free from concern for life and death.

Then he visited Nan-in, and his old teacher just smiled.

Sometimes a radical introduction of an ideal is required to throw you into a spin. Get out of your habitual mindset.

Predetermined sets of action throw you out of the present moment. That is because you become focused on the future outcome. Drop your 9-inch daggers.

Your identity is future based. It’s based on planning how you will tell people how many cold showers you have taken. How you can share your relationship breakup so you don’t look like the bad guy.

Throw yourself fully into each of your current actions. Your essence will then express itself in the present moment, and there will be a loss of identity.

Concern yourself with giving your best at the moment. No concern with acquiring new knowledge and techniques. There is no requirement to change yourself.

Allow your essence to flow out through your actions in helping others.

Your identity looks to freeze the present by recollecting the past and controlling the future.

Your essence sits in nothingness (Mu.) The path to freedom is through elimination, not acquisition.

3. A Mother’s Advice

Jiun, a Shingon master, was a well-known Sanskrit scholar of the Tokugawa era. When he was young, he used to deliver lectures to his brother’s students.

His mother heard about this and wrote him a letter:

“Son, I do not think you became a devotee of the Buddha because you desired to turn into a walking dictionary for others. There is no end to information and commentation, glory and honor. I wish you would stop this lecture business. Shut yourself up in a little temple in a remote part of the mountain. Devote your time to meditation and, in this way, attain true realization.”

Your essence will not be revealed by fitting in with popular people. I know because I was tried, and I ended up lonely.

Who you are will not be found in getting big biceps. I know because also I tried it. Curls get the girls but attract a woman that is capable of a deeply intimate connection.

Devote your time to doing what you know makes you feel happy. Your happiness will be found inside your fears.

Hunt out your fears

Jump inside your fears.

Know you will feel uncomfortable about what others will think when you follow your heart’s desire.

You don’t have to be a good boy or good girl for anyone, anymore. In fact, to live from your essence means not being bound by any rules, obligations, or external moral codes.

It’s okay to step out of the roles others have assigned to you.

You don’t have to live somewhere else. That doesn’t work. I know because I lived in England than in India (twice) and the dark shadow of fear of letting out my essence followed me.

Depression, sadness, and loneliness are all parts of make life so exciting. Use your emotions as signposts.

This is how you relate to life through your emotions. How you relate to yourself and understand yourself. Emotions give you feedback about if you are holding back on expressing your essence.

Death of your identity

Death comes with terrible timing. But the death of your self-created identity is inevitable and needed. Tears will come. And tears will go.

Let the coffin sink into the ground.

And let your essence be resurrected.

It’s ok to have all types of questions and feel like you are alone. There is a saying when the student is ready, the teacher appears.

It’s like you have to give up everything that society considers important to know your essence. Take a chance.

This is too much, what do I do?

If you get overwhelmed by your feelings, you can write your feelings in a journal or to me.

Because death, even of parts that aren’t you, is scary and painful. And no one else will get it.

You can tell your story and give up on yourself. I am amazed by people that dare to strive to awaken to their essence.

Concluding thoughts

Know that others can support you but cannot save you.

Go on a quest. A quest to express your essence to the world.

Honesty is the path to knowing your essence. Not with others, but with yourself.

Other people feel the same way as you and you will find them by treading the path less traveled.

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