Swimming with Police

Miami Beach PD Meets Ray: “Chasing Crazy”

We had just arrived at Miami Beach and my mother had lathered me up in suntan lotion. My older brother Jason was next.

“Jason just take your damn shirt off!”

My mother was furious.

My brother was an insecure person. In every possible sense. I would guess it had to do with my mom’s constant berating of him.

He had a timid voice and walked with his head down. His shoulders drooped as if he were carrying bags of concrete. It almost looked painful. But he never took his shirt off in public. It was too revealing. This was a person that showered in the dark.

Jason was startled at her quick bark, but he had known it would come. He looked around to see if anyone had heard her.

“I am. I am.”

I walked away while her attention was diverted.

It was a beautiful day. Clear. Fragments of bleached shells littered the ecru sand. I could see the dock towards the end of the beach that Manny and I would often jump off.

By often, I mean once, and it was because Manny’s brother threw us off. I wanted to try on my own though. And without crying.

I hopped on the hot sand as I started to make my way down the beach alone.

“Gregorio! There’s my fuckin bollilo!”

Awesome. It was Ray. Even better. He was drunk.

He was waving at me with one hand, the other holding a cheap plastic tumbler of beer.

He was trying to walk through the sand but his sneakers kept getting trapped.

Ray Lucindo wore shoes to the beach because he “didn’t know what was in that sand,” implying it was somehow unsanitary.

This notion coming from a man that smoked discarded cigarette butts scattered near the trailer park dumpster.

“Hey Gregorio…listen…”

His breath was saturated with the stench of old beer and weed.

“I need you to go that store and get me a big bottle of Corona. The big one.”

He was gesturing the outline of a woman’s figure as he explained this for some reason.

I had to stop him.

“Ray. They won’t sell me beer.”

He was gone though.

I looked behind me and saw Ray standing against a volleyball net. His arms were stretched out and his fingers had weaved themselves into the nylon.

He was starting to pull the net down as he sank to the sand. He began to sing.

“Oye Isabelle…don’t listen to the things your mama said…”

He fell to the sand as the net sprung up.

Ray lay there. His cup was at a tilt, as it dribbled out onto his cut-off denim shorts. His eyes were closed but he was still singing. I watched him try to sit up by reaching up for the net again.

This would prove to fail as the left side of the net snapped.

Ray collapsed and the nylon mess fell on top of him. He laid his head back into the sand and closed his eyes.

“So I guess that’s game.”

I hadn’t noticed the four guys standing around the net.

People were beginning to take notice. I could hear murmurs in the crowd.

“Is he okay?” “Should we call someone?”

I blended in with the crowd that gathered around to watch.

A police officer on a bicycle came riding up the path and jumped off to run and see what the commotion was.

Ray was sitting up now as the officer approached.

“Hey buddy, you have a couple drinks today? Can I see your license?”

Ray wouldn’t lift his head.

“No comprende.”

The bilingual officer was getting impatient.

“Tienes una licencia?

Ray wasn’t expecting that.

“Yeah yeah. I got it. Hold on.”

Out of nowhere Ray leapt up from the sand like a ninja and started sprinting down the beach.

The officer seemed as surprised as we were. It took him a moment to begin running after him.

It didn’t take long to catch him though as Ray had stopped short when one of his soggy Reeboks got stuck in the sand.

The officer collided into him like a defensive end. They both fell into the rise of an oncoming wave.

They were soaked. The officer was furious as he put Ray’s hands behind his back and handcuffed him.

Ray was winded.

“Fuck you pinche cops.”

He looked up at that moment and caught my eye.

Shit, I thought.

“Gregorio! Gregorio tell your mommy to pick me up tonight!”

The crowd that had gathered now looked at me.

I acted surprised and looked around to see who he could be talking to.

No one was buying it.

This was most likely due to the fact that Ray was pulling the officer towards me in an attempt to “hug me goodbye”.

Ray had never hugged me in his life.

At least everyone knew I was with him now though.

I decided to skip the dock and go tell my mother what had happened.

To a normal, sane human being, this would have been, at the very least, a story worth listening to. She stopped me halfway through.

“Well, that’s what he gets.”

By the end of the afternoon I think everyone on the beach was aware of our presence. Even if I had tried, it would have been impossible to have gotten lost.

All I would need to do was look for the woman screaming at her fully clothed, adult son, or watch for a salmon-colored kayak, half submerged in the ocean.

I would not start to feel the effects of the burn on my body until I was crammed next to the cooler in the back of the car on the drive home and the salt in my fishnet bathing suit had begun to stiffen and itch.

My once oily skin was now dry as newspaper and I was beginning to actually glow in the backseat. My skin radiated a red aura as if I were a diner sign.

The drive home in the interstate traffic would not be a pleasant one at all. I began to moan.

My mother was pulling out of the parking lot as she grabbed the bottle of lotion from my brother to apply some to her face.

The label had caught her eye.

The sting of the burn was kicking in as I saw her realize the significance of the word “Amplifier” on the bottle.

“Well I guess your mom’s an idiot. I’m sorry sweetie.”

She sounded concerned but then turned around and smiled at me with the eyes of a toddler.

“Well, just think of the tan that’s gonna turn into sweetie!”

I reached behind my seat and tugged at the swollen suitcase my mother had used as a beach bag that day.

I removed a heavy winter scarf and laid my head down.

Get Ready for SHOPLIFTING in the next chapter!

Catch the RACE from the Beginning!

CHASING CRAZY!