Sweet Little Lies

So you think you’re honest?

Nobody likes a liar and none of us would ever lie. Of course, there is a get-out clause here. White lies don’t count.

Any man who has ever heard the words ‘honey, does this dress make my bottom look fat,’ can vouch for that.

But what about the lies we tell ourselves?

There have been some fantastic studies on a phenomenon known as the ‘self-serving bias’ and what they reveal is that we tell ourselves little lies all of the time; white lies of course. Whenever something good occurs in our lives we assume it’s because of something we did or because we deserve it. In a test, for example, if we do well we think it is because we worked hard. If we fail, we suggest excuses like being distracted or question the validity of the test itself. When surveyed, patients in hospital following road traffic accidents that they had caused, predominantly described themselves as being above average drivers.

In another survey, 800 000 high school students were asked if they were above or below average in social skills. Not one answered below average. 25 percent felt that they were in the top 1 percent. The bias is not restricted to our starry-eyed youth.

88 percent of college professors believe that they are above average and a full twenty five percent believe they are truly exceptional.

This self-serving bias is found in many other areas of life; sometimes in places where we would not expect it to pop up. Ninety percent of pastors consider themselves as above average preachers.

Most of us think we look younger than our age and the majority of people believe that they are well above average in their ability to manage the self-serving bias.

I was unable to locate any figures about how writers feel about themselves or whether they lie to themselves or not. I do know that procrastination is a reoccurring theme on this platform and almost any other where you find writers gathering. Procrastination seems to be a universal trait among those who put pen to paper.

What is procrastination if not the ability to tell ourselves a little lie? When I take the dog for a walk to clear my head and gather inspiration I may be doing just that. On the other hand, I could be lying to myself because I can’t quite bring myself to actually do any work. When I do it so often that the dog hides when she hears me coming, then I guess it is time to give myself a good talking to. The fact that I have worn a smooth trail across the carpet between my desk and the refrigerator may mean more than I have just developed a voracious appetite.

T.S. Elliot was a writer of world renown and he might have been thinking along the lines of self-serving bias when he said ‘Man cannot take too much truth at one time; especially about himself. Our capacity for self-deception is gargantuan.’

This bias appears across all cultures but is more prevalent in ours where individuality is highly valued. There does not seem to be a great deal of variation between sexes. The one thing I have going in my favour is that it decreases in older males so I may well be reaching a point of perfection.

Despite the quick fix solution to procrastination that we see offered so freely, it is still a subject that I wrestle with constantly. Of late I have seen some improvement, but then again, I might be lying about that as well. Honey, if you’re reading this, your bottom looks just fine.