‘Survivor Colby 20 Years Ago’
A Not Entirely Rabid, Wholesome New Crush

The very first season of Survivor premiered in 2000 and has been surviving twice a year ever since, all of which I had never watched, ever.
But like all you people I used to know, binge watching any program that promises a tiny glimmer of entertainment has become as normal a routine in this household as sleeping. Sometimes I do both at the same time.
We have just finished Survivor Season 2 (after completing Seasons 28, 20, and 1 respectively), which is Colby’s debut on screen and into my heart once past the cornea stage. I make no apologies, the eye candy was prevalent in Season 20 (his 3rd attempt 10 years after his 1st) (let me know if I lose you with this timeline, I’ll email you the color coded comprehensive graph I’ve generated).
But we need to go back another 10 years to ‘Survivor Colby 20 Years Ago' to fully understand the slightly rabid yet wholesome affection I feel for him.
‘Survivor Colby 20 Years Ago' is extremely handsome and nice. I am absolutely impressed with his character and teeth, and could not be more proud of the words escaping that beautiful mouth just below his captivating eyeballs. He did all the right things, made all the right moves, said all the right words with all the right inflection and pitch.
Any doubts you may have can simply be eradicated by listening to me or watching the entire Season 2.
He is only a couple of months older than me. Yes, this means that I looked up his bio, his Wiki, and briefed his google engine. If that term heightens your senses, it’s how I felt too. It also means, during that time, he was very young, and during that same time I was very stupid.
Going even further back, it also means that if we went to the same school from 4th to the 8th grade I may have asked him, “will you go with me?”. This would have been in the form of a note written by me or Melissa or Kim. Probably Melissa. I would have added the box: “maybe”, because I still do that.
‘Survivor Colby 20 Years Ago' is a beautiful focused competitor from the start to the finish line. He had no energy for the wicked wiles of Jerri.
Jerri was one of my favorite mature, nice cast members from Season 20. Then I watched her on Season 2 and wanted to take her behind the wood shed to shoot her.
It’s 20 years later now, Colby’s got an amazing career and is married to a beautiful woman and has a daughter I think, maybe more — I just didn’t look too far into any of it. He aged well, as I’d like to think I did, but take this mask off my face and the jowls are telling.
There was a time, a younger, sillier me — I don’t know how far back that truly is, that I would have ingested and retained everything about my crush. (You know what I’m talking about. Obsessive and freakish.) But not anymore! At least this time.
I am completely satisfied with my ‘Survivor Colby 20 Years Ago’ search and seizure…and relish the time we spend together in our quiet solitude of at least five minutes a day. And two minutes a night.
Love you.







