Surrender is Not the Word I Thought it Was in My Youth

This Forever Hippie is waving her white flag. We haven’t reached Peace and Love but we can agree to disagree and meet in the middle

“My formula for success was very simple: Do whatever is put in front of you with all your heart and soul without regard for personal results. Do the work as if it was given to you by the universe itself because it was.” Michael A. Singer The Surrender Experiment: My Journey into Life’s Perfection

“Hey, I found them! The cowards have retreated to their fort!”

Our neighborhood rat pack of kids on the loose had split in half for a game of hiding and seek. Following the illogical reasoning of developing brains, my group decided the most obvious place to hide would be the best disguise.

The roof and sides of our tarp walls began to shake and rattle. Barefoot toes poked under the bottom.

“Come on out! There’s no hope. You’re surrounded. Time to surrender!”

Surrender? Never! That word just pissed me off. I had looked up its definition and it continued to irk me whenever I heard it.

Surrender: [verb] cease resistance to an enemy or their opponent and submit to their authority 👎

[with object] give up or hand over [a person, right or possession] typically on compulsion or demand 👎 The Oxford Dictionary

That did it. I threw open the tarps, yelling like a banshee and whirling like a mini Dervish. “I will die before I surrender!”

Everyone scattered and that was the end of that suggestion.

I was the kid who protected her friends from bullies. I was feisty, fiery, fun-loving, and chock full of life force. No one was messing with my buddies.

I never received resistance from another when I was in defense mode. Maybe it was due to the seven brother back up everyone knew I had at home. Or maybe I was already recognized for rarely giving up.

By the age of 10, when double-digit birthdays finally showed up, I was clear on a few societal beliefs I would never surrender to.

Boys are smarter than girls. Forget it! I grew up in the ’50s and ’60s. Girls were automatically dumbed down in the brains department and I wasn’t having it.

I consulted with my mother after I first heard this statement, and unfortunately common mindset. My early feminist mother didn’t buy it either.

“Pure hogwash! Gender has nothing to do with intelligence and the very fact someone said that shows their lack of it. However, there’s a possibility women may be wiser in certain ways. We’re smart enough not to show it.”

Few people, other than my parents and teachers, could tell me what to do. I established a sense of self-authority by the age of 6, a result of a spiritual transmission I had spontaneously received.

It became difficult for me to capitulate to someone else’s perception if it didn’t resonate with the universal values I had been shown. Knowing all humans were equal didn’t fly too well in my nuclear hometown during the Cold War years with Russia.

Many of my non-surrender issues were related to adult rules that made no sense.

Go to sleep. Why? I’m not sleepy. Go to bed anyway. Okay, but I’m not gonna sleep! Now, where are my flashlight and Mad comics?

I was highly determined to carve my own path. What saved me from being obnoxious was an innate sense of kindness I extended to all. Until proven unworthy.

Each and every person received the benefit of the doubt. This attitude has remained a lifelong trait. It’s hard-wired.

It also became the bane of my existence in adolescence.

I would never choose to hurt another, neither emotionally nor physically. I assumed others would do the same. Two sexual assaults in my teens proved me wrong and brought on my first conscious acts of surrendering to a force larger than myself.

“How could I possibly explain the great freedom that comes from realizing to the depth of your being that life knows what it's doing.” Michael A. Singer

Wake up, girl Explorer! Do you want to go out into the world? Here’s a glimpse of a reality you prefer not to view, but you must. Some people are damaged goods and will hurt you without provocation. Stay on your toes and establish strong boundaries.

I struggled mightily with this surrender. The notion of evil people went against my grain so strongly that I needed two traumas to seal the deal.

I managed to save myself from being raped and that contributed to the positive aspects of both of those harsh lessons. By the time I set out on the road I was armed with the knowledge I needed for self-protection. Invaluable.

My nomadic years brought in new concepts of what surrendering truly was. Go with the flow became a daily mantra and I began actively allowing life to lead me instead of adhering to a personal itinerary.

After another spiritual transmission, my concept of surrender had reconfigured in a way I couldn’t possibly have imagined it playing out in my younger years.

I found the peace I was looking for as a Flower Child turned Hippie and it carried a distinctly different flavour. Michael A. Singer’s thoughts mirror my sentiments.

“Surrender — what an amazingly powerful word. It often engenders the thought of weakness and cowardice. In my case, it required all the strength I had to be brave enough to follow the invisible into the unknown.”

This was my journey as well. I was trekking a path hidden from view. It led to the unfolding of protective layers around my heart. I had to surrender and trust this inner realm with very little guidance from others. Nature became my teacher and I trusted her deeply.

I stopped trying to figure things out with traditional tools. They simply didn’t fit my Soul Mission. After I accepted this, intuitive insights steered me to teachings that accelerated my growth. Some of those directions surprised me.

In my mid 20’s I completely surrendered to personal concepts of how my life should operate. In fact, I dropped the word should from my vocabulary. Nothing ‘should’ happen, it simply does.

Surrendering to what arose in life was a pivotal turn. This willingness created alchemical magic. What appeared as dross turned to gold.

When the unpleasant arrived, the lesson I integrated from the challenge, created a form of knowing. One I wouldn’t have understood in any other way.

There was a pearl of profound and mysterious wisdom operating beyond my limited scope. If I relaxed my hold it would seed and flower. Direct life experience played out the obvious. Trying to control the pulse would only stunt my growth.

I look around our divided world today and see so much unnecessary strife and suffering. Many of us profess to values we cannot adhere to in our daily lives. Have we lost a desire for personal integrity?

How can you thrive without walking your talk? You cannot. You will be on the receiving end of one hardship after another until you are able to release personal hypocrisy and grasp living your truth.

And that truth needs to recognize the truths of others as well.

Coming from opposite ends of the spectrum with no intention to co-operate, digs our graves deeper than the allotted six feet.

Our societies must adapt to some form of mutual cooperation in order to progress. Surrender is the key to meeting in the middle. Dropping your ego a few notches is a requirement along the way.

Life lets us know when we need a piece of humble pie.

What you think of as a solution could be someone else’s nightmare. I would like to abolish gun use outside of the military and police. European nations have managed to do so and we could too.

Is my lofty goal realistic? No. I surrender and accept it will probably never happen in America. I liken my wish to ushering a kid into a candy store and telling them they can have anything they want.

After they’re glutted and hyped on sugar, how can we turn and say no more candy, it’s bad for you?

Changing our laws seems to be the only recourse and there’s dissent about that option as well.

What are we waiting and hoping for anyway? Should we all bear arms? I’ve only touched a gun twice in my life but I know what it feels like to have a loaded rifle shoved in my back. Do you? Not good for your nervous system.

There are so many things I want, want want. I want us to stop torturing people over their personal identities. I want everyone to take their hands and laws off others’ bodies and what they choose to do with them. Their decision is not for you.

I stoke up my pipe dreams again and again. I do as much as I can to promote human equality and personal freedom, innate values attached to our very existence.

I also surrender to the realization I may never see those values played out on a global level in my lifetime. I’m 71 now and the clock keeps clicking.

Lastly, I surrender my heart to all heart-driven people who are bringing more peace and love into our fractured world.

Can we unite against all odds? I believe so.

It’s unnecessary to stumble around in the dark hoping for a clue. Surrender to your heart. This will encourage the tidal wave of change that can transform our world for the better.

Thank you 🙏🏼✌️💚