Sunny Days Are Too Demanding

Even Though I Love Them

I heard Oprah Winfrey say in a podcast, ‘I love winter, I am allowed to be lazy. Summer is always demanding.’

And I immediately understood what she meant, sunny days are just too demanding for me too.

Now don’t get me wrong. I love sunny days. There’s nothing better than the sun streaming in through open doors and windows. And living by the sea means that I can take advantage of any drop of vitamin D that comes my way.

Why are sunny days too demanding?

It’s the pressure.

The pressure I feel is that I should be outside enjoying myself as soon as the sun comes out.

Surely you can be lazy on sunny days, you might say? Aren’t sunny days perfect for lazing around, sprawled out on the grass or the beach, or chilling in the park?

Yes. And no.

Why?

I Have to Be Outside When The Sun Shines

I can remember when I started my first job. It was a good job, I had my own office and I liked my colleagues. But the pull to be outside on a sunny day was irresistible. I even considered leaving my well-paid, cushy position to apply to be a park warden where I could be out in the sunshine shouting at children to get off the grass. Or a milkman (this was in the days when we still had milk floats delivering milk to the doorstep) as I imagined that I’d only have to work in the morning and could spend the rest of the day lying in the sunshine.

And, still, to this day, I find it difficult to be inside when the sun shines.

Sunny days make me think that I should be out hiking or swimming. Or anything at all apart from doing whatever I’m doing. Unless I’m hiking or swimming.

Curling up with a book in front of the fire is entirely appropriate in the winter. But curling up with a book in the sunshine feels self-indulgent unless I’m on holiday. I once got an award on a holiday that caters to windsurfers, sailers, waterskiing, and tennis players for the most amount of pages turned in a week. But that fitted into my idea of what is ‘right’ on holiday. Holidays, to me, are beach and reading in the sunshine. And I’m outside.

It’s Not What’s Outside, It’s What’s Inside

I do realise that my mood and my feelings are nothing to do with the weather. That the itchy pants feeling I get on sunny days is not meteorological but old beliefs and conditioned thinking from my past rising to the surface.

Maybe because sunny days can be rare in the UK, there was always a rush to be outside when the sun shone as I grew up. A sunny day couldn’t be wasted by sitting inside, I would be ushered outside to do something. As a child, reading was my preferred past time but I would be forced out of the door as soon as the sun came out to go and do something, to go outside to play.

Of course, with hindsight, this might be more about my mother trying to get a few moments of peace than anything to do with the weather but I evermore associate sunshine with ‘having’ to enjoy the day.

And I still feel the pressure to be out enjoying myself.

I might be contentedly working at my desk, occasionally glancing up to watch the sun on the waves when I have a thought that I must go outside.

Now if I had a thought about a glass of red wine at 10 am, I wouldn’t rush to pour a glass or jump in the car and drive to the nearest supermarket to buy a bottle, I would see that this was just a random thought so why do I imagine that thought about what I should do on a sunny day is real when thought about the wine isn’t?

Because a thought about ‘not wasting’ a sunny day is ingrained. It’s just a habit of thinking that doesn’t feel like a habit. It feels like the truth. And then I feel pressure again.

Not the kind of pressure people feel when a storm is imminent but more of an internal frustration because I don’t know where I ‘should’ be.

I might be in my office gazing longingly at the outside until I give in and go out to lounge on a lounger.

But then I feel guilty that I’m working and go back inside. I can spend most of the day like this, apart from client times, in and out more often than the characters in a weather house.

I’ve found a working solution now. I erect a gazebo on the patio overlooking the beach and sea so that I can use my laptop under the shade. Kind of inside-outside. And I’m happy.

The Pressure of Being Happy on a Sunny Day

There’s a myth that sunny days make us happy. We’ve all heard about Seasonal Affective Disorder and even for those who don’t suffer this, there are the ‘winter blues. This makes sense. Who wants to battle with cold, wind, and rain for days on end?

Although this pretty much sums up most British summertimes.

And having to take off layers of clothes before you can get jiggly with someone might kill passion. A vest can divest you of desire.

There are some people of suffer reverse-SAD. They start to feel worse as the days get longer and lighter. They get too hot and the sunshine makes them confused. Instead of chilling in the sun, the heat triggers feelings of aggression and they long for short, cold, dark days.

Not me. Whilst I’m still with Oprah, I know that the weather couldn’t care less what I think of it and I can be less demanding of myself on a sunny day.