Sunday, Bloody Sunday

A sex story

I had a phase in my life when I didn’t think twice before approaching a girl that made me interested. That often happened in everyday situations, such as walking on the street or shopping. The story I have to tell starts in a case like this.

I must have been about twenty-five at the time. Christmas had just passed, and I went to a shopping mall to change some gifts. When I was walking through the aisles looking for the store, I ended up seeing a girl that caught my attention. She was beautiful, delicate, and had a huge smile.

For a while, I watched her from a distance. When I finally found the courage to approach her, she went into a store. I gave up. I went back to looking for the store to change the clothes I won as a gift and walked away.

After making the switch, I ended up passing in front of that store again. It had been a long time; I thought the girl was already gone, but no! There she was! I watched her through the window and finally understood: she worked in that store as a salesperson. I then found an excellent excuse to enter.

I said I was looking for a gift for my mom, and she showed me some clothes. The exciting thing was that she was very excited about me. I started to be confident. It seemed that the interest was mutual. At the end of the service — where I didn’t buy anything, obviously — I asked for the store card to keep the phone. She wrote down her name and handed me the card.

As soon as I got home and called the store — at that time, 1995, very few people had cell phones. She answered me, and I said that I liked most about the store, not the clothes, but her. Her response was, “This is great! I like you too!” which made me ask her out that day.

We went to a cafeteria, where we ate something and drank a few beers. We got along really well. In the middle of the night, we were already kissing. Finally, I took her to her house. Before she got out of the car, we agreed: we would see each other again on Sunday, her day off. She would have dinner with me in my apartment.

I left there excited. I knew it would be tough for us not to go to bed, the thing I most wanted at that moment. But one thing I had noticed during our conversations that night: we were not compatible. I didn’t see myself dating her. We had a tremendous physical attraction, but that was it. We would probably go out once or twice, and nothing more.

During the week, she called me. She said she couldn’t see me on Sunday. I asked why. She said she thought it was too early to be alone with me like that. I convinced her that it was not. I said that I had prepared a beautiful evening for us. And I implied that I was romantically interested in her.

It is important to note that I didn’t use to do this. When I just wanted sex, I always made it clear that it would be just sex. I never liked to let a girl be deluded about a possible relationship with me. But, I don’t know why I didn’t do this to her. Probably the urge to have her in bed with me was too great to risk missing out on the opportunity. I am not proud of this at all. I have always been honest with those who related to me.

But I was not honest with her.

On Sunday, we met at the agreed place. I took her home, served dinner, we laughed, had a drink… And we went to bed.

She was a little skittish at first. Her eyes were shining. I didn’t quite understand the reason for that behavior, but I continued to do what I was doing. And it was perfect. After we finished the more physical part of the thing, we were cuddled up in bed talking. I commented that it had been great and that I had done well to insist that she come to dinner with me that night.

She replied, “Yes, I’m glad you insisted! It was the best thing I’ve ever done!”

Her eyes shone in a way that I was slow to understand. I smiled and told her I was going to the bathroom. Only, when I got up…

I saw that my sheet had a huge bloodstain on it.

At that moment, I didn’t understand what had happened. She saw the stain and smiled. “Sorry!” She said.

“Are you menstruating?” I asked.

And she shook her head, meaning no and keeping her smile. It was then that I finally understood what had happened… “But why didn’t you tell me before? If I had known, I would have been more careful!”

And she replied: “It doesn’t matter, it was wonderful because it was with love!”.

That phrase haunts me today. As I said, I never gave anyone hope when what I wanted was just sex. But I gave her hope. And I never saw her again. There was no point in pretending to like her just to keep from hurting her. I would only increase the pain of the breakup even more.

I hope that this girl somehow has a good memory of her first night. Because it was a delightful night. It would be even better if it were with someone who was in love with her, of course.

But that was the first, and the last time I pretended to like someone.