Summertime and the Livin’ Ain’t Easy

Houseguests are coming and the tension is high

When I was growing up, my parents were happy to welcome guests for a short stay. But they were just as happy to see them go. And, just in case any guests might think about settling in for a longer stay, the sign hanging in our guestroom was enough to make them reconsider. It read: “Guests, like fish, tend to stink after three days.” I guess you can’t get much clearer than that! Subtlety was not a strong suit for my parents.

Because I live on a lake in the mountains, I tend to attract a lot of company. And they tend to stay. And stay. Over the years, I’ve experienced many different types of guests. There are those who are truly a delight to have around. And there are those who are — quite frankly — a pain in the neck. My favorite guests are the ones who make themselves at home. When they’re thirsty, they go to the fridge and get themselves something to drink. In the morning, they don’t wait around for me to wake up, but instead go ahead and start the coffee brewing. If we’re running low on milk, they go to the store and pick some up. They don’t constantly ask what they can do to help, they simply do it. In short, they make life easy! On the other end of the spectrum are those who need to be waited on hand and foot. They take great care to tell you of course — over and over again — that they don’t want you to go out of the way on their behalf. And then they stand around and wait for you to do exactly that.

Another pet peeve, no pun intended, are the guests who bring along their pets. It’s not that I have anything against pets, as long as they’re well behaved and the owner clearly understands that they need to be kept in their place — in other words, Fido does not need to sit on the sofa to watch TV with us and he also doesn’t need to sleep in their bed or eat his dinner at our table. And does Rover really need to bark ferociously and jump up on me to lick my face every time I enter the house? I’m glad to know that he’s keeping strangers at bay — but hey, remember, I’m not the one who’s a stranger here.

Or how about those guests who think it’s perfectly okay to bring along extra people. Some are convinced that their child needs to have a friend along to play with. Others think that it would be just dandy to bring their mother-in-law so that she can enjoy some quality time with the grandchildren. I once had a couple visiting from Europe who informed me that they wanted to meet up with a distant cousin who had moved to the United States years ago. “Great idea!” I said, happy to hear that they would finally be moving on to their next destination. However, as it turned out, ‘meeting up’ with this cousin meant inviting him to my house for a visit. After all, they were absolutely certain he’d enjoy my house and beach just as much as they did.

Last summer, when my friend Rob came to visit, I discovered that he has become a champion of energy-efficient lighting. He had brought along a stash of energy-saving bulbs and surreptitiously swapped out many of my light bulbs. I didn’t really mind. However, when we were invited to my friend Victoria’s house for dinner and he disappeared during the meal, I started to worry. As we were discussing where Rob could possibly be, the room suddenly went dark. It turned out that Rob had gone to the basement to replace some of Victoria’s bulbs. But because it was an older house with outdated electrical circuits, he had blown a fuse. Perhaps he was simply proving that there’s more than one way to save electricity.

Now summer is here once again and the requests are streaming in. Yes, friends and family do tend to let me know in advance when they’re coming — though not necessarily when they are leaving or how many people they’re bringing with them. But hey, I can’t complain. Life is pretty nice here in my little corner of paradise, and I can’t blame others for wanting to share it.