Sufferings in the Pursuit of Happiness

A short description of what drowning in your own pain feels like — and how to break through

There is a breaking point in life when you hit the rocks, or in reality, you believe you hit the rocks. You feel like your life is wasting away, time is zooming by, and you haven’t been using it efficiently. It’s merely passing through you.

You don’t even have the opportunity to watch it flow away since you’re lost in it. You are lost in the streams, and the current is exceedingly powerful. You cannot fight it — once you try, you find yourself sinking lower and deeper into the profound chasm of emotions.

You contemplate and wish you were resting on that muddy edge watching the rapids, welcoming to the sound of the small waves crashing, enjoying the whistling sonance.

Yet you aren’t. You’re struggling within the crashing waves. You’re drowning. Do you know why?

Because once upon a time, you were crazy enough to dare yourself to dip your toes inside the oceans as watching from the sides got tedious. You were fierce enough to pursue your heart instead of your mind. You acted on numerous impulses and mark where you’re standing now.

The irony of it all is that you are not indeed standing anymore. You yearn for stability; that would have made your life more manageable. You could have grappled a bit, that is for sure, but you would not be plunging deeper in your sorrows. You would topple and fall every so often — yet you are way past that point now.

So, what is the only solution? Hope. Hope, believe, never surrender.

Constantly fight the war blazing within you, even when you lose some battles. You are astonishingly strong; you have to believe it. Trust yourself, gut and mind, to get out of treacherous waters, or merely to stand on your two feet.

Are you aware of how to do that?

Figure out an escape strategy. Halt the panic, and start acting by pouring your heart and soul out. Stop obsessing about what could have been done, and start moving towards what you truly desire. Stop overthinking, and start doing what ignites your soul and what gives your heart joy.

As one of my friends once said:

Hope acknowledged is beautiful. Hope denied could kill you.

That rings true in multiple ways. The takeaway is to never doubt your process, as long as you are pursuing your true dreams. Never succumb to monotonous living to merely live through the day. Yes, you might suffer on some days, but the reward you will get from doing what you love will be your savior.