Suffering from Wanting to Do a Lot

If you are like me, you enjoy a variety of things. There are many sights to be let washed away by, moments to be delighted in, foods to be tried, drinks to be drunk, and the hardest of all:

way too many books to be read.

Never has a generation been freer; yet we suffer for it. We suffer from the paradox of choice. With so many choices of what to become or spend our time, more isn’t better exactly better. More is more troublesome; more means more anxiety.

We Are Not Weak

Older generations find it hard to understand this. For them, we are weak. They think us weak for being anxious and indecisive. But they do admit to envying. They would have loved to have the choices that we have.

Damn right they would’ve, but they forget to be careful what they wish for.

Anxiety of choice is a symptom of our freedom. We must come to terms with this. Whatever choice we make, there will always be the possibility of leaving many other choices out. Older generations didn’t have this luxury. We do. But freedom comes with a premium, we pay for it with anxiety.

You Will Make the Wrong Choice

You will probably not. But the feeling that you did will linger. And why shouldn’t it not? You sacrificed a myriad of alternatives for just a mere one thing.

Our sense of regret only increases if we were free to make that choice. You could’ve been coerced or persuaded. But if you acted on it as a free agent, it only adds to our regret. Whatever choice you make, it is normal to feel like you could’ve made the wrong choice.

Only if you would’ve listened to… your heart, your reasoning, your gut, your father, your mother, your aunt, or your dreams.

We Are Not Our Choices

The more we identify with our choices, the more difficult it becomes to separate from them. If you are a programmer, is that all you are? If you are also a surfer and a father, are you a programmer, a surfer, or a father? Are you only those three things? You are greater than the sum of your parts.

Yet, your true self isn’t defined by these parts. Not even your past choices define who you are now.

A same person can be adventurous, conformist, coward, bold, strong, weak, kind, cruel, pessimistic, or optimistic. To make matters more interesting, we will never be who we were.

We are so much more than choices.

Forgiveness

Maybe you did miss buying Bitcoin or missed the tech hiring wave. Maybe you messed up a relationship. Just like there are plenty of choices, there is potentially plenty to regret.

Whatever you did, think about your best friend coming to you and confessing how he regrets something. What would you tell him? Think about how easy it is to be kind to him or her. But you can’t be kind to yourself?

You are the most important individual in your life. Learn to be compassionate and forgive yourself.

Practice self-compassion.

Be Present

We cannot do it all, maybe you can maximize the number of experiences by multitasking. But you will not enjoy everything with the same intensity.

Doing many things at once is doing none of them.

Think back to a pleasant memory. I can assure you; you were doing one thing and one thing only. Enjoy what you are doing by being present.

Why is even multitasking a thing to admire? We don’t get to live because we are busy multitasking, and when not we worry about too many things instead of enjoying ourselves.

Acceptance

When we die our bucket list will probably have some unchecked boxes. A lot of people regret what they never did instead of what they did.

We shouldn’t take life too seriously.

Life is ridiculous and absurd. We live in a spherical rock that rotates around a star. We simply spawned here without purpose. It can’t get any more ridiculous than that.

Or maybe it’s not, and we do have a purpose? That is up to you to think, weigh, and most importantly decide.

Whatever you decide, what matters the most is that you stop and smell the morning breeze, appreciate the many gifts of our wonderful rising sun, taste that cup of coffee, and most importantly enjoy yourself.

Take care!