Success is Sometimes About Perspective

Summary

The text discusses how personal perspective and experience influence the perception of success, particularly in baking and writing.

Abstract

The author reflects on the concept of success through the lens of baking and writing, noting that success is subjective and depends on one's experience level. The partner's dissatisfaction with her bourbon pecan pie cupcakes, despite their delicious outcome, is contrasted with a beginner baker's satisfaction with simpler achievements. Similarly, the author draws parallels with their own writing journey, emphasizing that what may seem subpar to an experienced individual can be impressive to a novice. The text encourages self-kindness for beginners and reminds experts that their high standards may overlook the overall quality of their work.

Opinions

Success in creative endeavors like baking and writing is highly personal and relative to one's skill level and experience.
Experienced individuals, like the author's partner, may be harder on themselves due to higher expectations and the ability to tackle complex projects.
Beginners may view mistakes as learning opportunities rather than failures, leading to a more forgiving perception of success.
The author suggests that even when experienced individuals do not meet their own high standards, their work is often still of high quality.
Self-perception and the ability to recognize one's own achievements are crucial in appreciating personal success.
The pursuit of challenging goals, even if not fully achieved, can lead to interesting and beautiful outcomes.
The text implies that continuous practice and effort are essential in any craft, regardless of natural talent or years of experience.

On the subject of baking.

Photo courtesy of Jr R on Unsplash

My partner baked bourbon pecan pie cupcakes today. They turned out well, but not quite to her liking. The filling crystalized a bit, so even though it tastes great, the texture is a bit off. She’s made these once before (albeit a few years ago), so the fact that they turned out anything but excellent made her a bit frustrated.

We are sitting at a friend’s house and were talking about it, and our friend commented that it would probably be fantastic regardless. She asked if he was humoring her—a common feeling for all of us, as we all tend to suffer a bit from imposter syndrome. He said no, of course not.

She continued to waffle a bit, comparing herself to a friend who is learning to bake. Our friend, always astute, countered with the fact that our friend is a beginner. My partner, on the other hand, tends to aim high and try things outside her comfort zone.

As such, their definitions of success are very different. Our friend, who is a beginner, is successful when a basic box recipe turns out well. That makes sense for her—she’s still learning, after all, so a good result from a simple recipe is a fantastic success.

My partner, on the other hand, has been baking for over 20 years. Cakes, pies, and general baked goods are straightforward enough that she can whip them out fairly easily. So, she likes to challenge herself to make things like bourbon pecan pie cupcakes, which require making pecan pie filling with toasted nuts and a buttercreme more advanced than “whip butter and sugar together.”

So, when my partner aims for the moon and only makes it into orbit, she feels disappointed, even though the result is delicious. On the rare occasion that her moonshot doesn’t succeed, the resulting explosion is still pretty nice.

I’ve been writing since middle school. I wrote an original story featuring a typical author self-insert Mary Sue character when I was in high school that broke 20,000 words. It wasn’t terrible, aside from the tropey nonsense that happens in high school author self-insert fiction, but it kept my love of writing going throughout the worst years of my life. I literally went to school to learn how to write

As a result the stuff that I write for funsies is often pretty good compared to a beginning writer’s work. It’s not that their best writing is bad, nor that my worst writing is fantastic. It’s just that for us, success looks different.

Those different perspectives also affect how we perceive our own work. My partner understands that her cupcakes are delicious, but she often gets hung up on the flaws and sees them as a failing. She’s been baking for so long that mistakes feel like major issues.

A beginning baker who makes something that turns out decent often sees the flaws in their work as areas to work on. Because they’re just starting, a mistake doesn’t necessarily feel as catastrophic.

So, when you’re just starting out at something, be kind to yourself. It’s okay to be bad at things you’re still learning, or even things that you just do for fun.

And, if you’re an advanced practitioner of something, remember that stuff that seems sub-par to you may feel out of reach to a beginner. You’re more inclined to notice the flaws in your otherwise good work and not grasp the fact that your expertise helped you create something that, but for the flaws that you are obsessing over, is quite good.

I am writing this at my friend’s house as we wait for dinner to finish using my phone and a portable keyboard that I haven’t used yet. I’ve had a miserable week, I’m stressed out and tired, and I know that this probably isn’t my best work. It is, though, better than many people just starting out would be able to manage.

Even people with natural talent need practice to hone their crafts, and even people with decades of experience make basic mistakes. It shouldn’t stop you from doing the thing, whatever it is. And, if you’re feeling ambitious, shoot for the moon. Even if you fail, the results can still be interesting. Finding yourself floating among the stars can be beautiful, people are launching themselves into orbit for fun and profit these days, and even an explosion can be spectacular.

It’s all a matter of perspective.