I’ve lost contact with 98% of old friends and family, it’s now down to my parents and an occasional text with a couple of old friends.
Why?
We don’t see eye to eye.
My uncle took me in for my first 8–9 years in the U.S. Wonderful family, Christian, educated, and middle-class. They escaped the communist party in China to come for a ‘quality life’, which to them, means a modest life.
It’s 9:30 P.M. as I’m writing this article, my uncle and aunt just climbed into bed. Although I haven’t seen them in more than a decade, their schedules don’t change, their lives don’t change— they happily live a routine and ordinary life, but I feel insecure about it.
Joe Blow has more balls
The true motivation behind ambition? Not rewards, but punishments. The fear of mediocrity and not being enough.
I’m intimidated by the fear of being average
-Taylor Swift
Sure, the world considers figures like Jeff Bezos and Elon Musk superhumans, and rightfully so. But the strongest person in the room isn’t the one who overcomes their fear by achieving success; but rather the one who was never phased by the pressure to be recognized in the first place. It takes tremendous confidence and courage to be a nobody yet secure and content.
A fake king needs money, power, and status to be powerful.
A real king doesn’t need shit.
It’s tempting to become more
Somedays I see no point, why work my ass off?
Oh yeah, because I saw beautiful girls flocking to rich, popular men, designer clothes from head to toe. The material didn’t seduce me, it’s the amount of attention they received, I thought “damn, I wish I could be like him”.
We fall into the trap of wanting more. See, it’s easy to be content until compared to better.
No one is truly satisfied being mediocre, we secretly wish to be the best, be special, and be like the stars who walk the red carpet. But it’s unlikely because we become paralyzed with fear, then end up in the middle with the majority, deeply depressed and angry.
The medium pool is easy to swim in but hard to feel proud of.
We are constantly haunted by the mediocrity ghost
Junior year of high school, I was torn between two afterschool choices, stay home, or get on the wrestling team. I chose the latter and here's why.
Wrestling wasn’t my hobby, I craved popularity and deviation from my track and field friends. It was the most physically and mentally demanding sport in school according to our wrestling/football coach.
4–5 hours long, intense practices 6 days a week, the only day with no practice is Saturday, which is when tournaments run from 6 A.M. to midnight. Weight management involved biking and sleeping with 10–12 layers of clothes— plus starving myself, while I’ve never done before. Breathing became painful because of rib soreness from body slams every day.
So yeah, hanging out or sleeping after school doesn’t seem like bad choices. But they gave me anxiety, sitting around being comfortable knowing there’s a challenge to tackle, no way. My guilt would suffocate me until I pushed myself harder.
My ego is in the driver’s seat.
Everyone wants a chance to see the top
People who made it to the top have a rooftop view, the rest stuck on lower levels wondering what it’s like to see the world from higher up.
It always leaves them curious, wondering what it‘s like to fly first class, to be mentioned by Magazines, to speak in front of thousands, to experience things the average person can’t.
Feeling of ‘I guess I’ll never know’ kills people inside.
How do you withstand the hype?
Let’s face it, most people are average, lower-middle to the middle class. working 40 hours a week for paychecks barely sufficient to survive, go out on weekends, and laid back at home on Sundays to watch football.
Nothing wrong with the picture except people aren’t happy. But rather than fighting the reality, let’s make peace with it and truly appreciate it for what it is. Here are a few ways to start.
- Don’t be jealous
When I was single, I was resentful of couples, attractive men. When I had my own girlfriend, it didn’t matter how attractive another girl was, I had no room to envy. Fill up our own tank, and we won’t be looking for fuel elsewhere.
2. Their life isn’t what we think
The saddest truth about being rich and successful would be knowing you have everything, and still being unhappy, because there is nowhere else to search.
3. They sacrificed too much
Kobe Bryant said all relationships suffered when he was pursuing NBA championships. Time, hobbies, fun, everything takes a backseat if it takes a seat at all, they don’t have the same luxuries us normal people do.
4. Too much on their shoulders
More money, more problems. Their lives demand too much, whether it’s keeping employee food on the table or maintaining a brand or image, the constant pressure is a lot to deal with
The ordinary is extraordinary
The paradox of life, the best things in life aren’t what we think, they are all accessible, overlooked elements like love and family.
What if I told you only ten couples are allowed to get married in America, and whoever makes the most money will be eligible. Marriage then becomes exclusive. People would start treating it with the respect it deserves, but since it’s so common and easy today, it’s not valued to be extraordinary.
So while my uncle’s family lives a so-called mundane life, they already possess everything human beings need to be happy.
Satisfied life is better than successful life. Because our success is measured by others. But our satisfaction is measured by our own soul, mind and heart.
-Buddha
We know all the real estate prices, market trends, books to growing rich, we have incredible knowledge to become successful, yet we don’t know how to embrace who we are and what we have.
