Stuttgart Christmas Market 2022

Our second stop on our 2022 Grand Tour o’ Christmas Markets was Stuttgart, Germany.

This one surprised me.

Greatly.

I’ve been to the Stuttgart area countless times over the last 20 years on business. Though very spread out, like most German cities it’s easy to get around. Rush hour traffic is crazy, but what big city isn’t? It’s pleasant to go to work there; the hills up north from the center are covered with lovely Wilhelmine homes (Germany’s Victorian), many of which have been converted into offices — I worked in one periodically.

Lots of young people, lots of students, lots of Auslaender (foreigners).

And a fun fact for me — many of my ancestors came from one of the small villages which used to be separate entities but are now really just part of the extended metro area. I remember a few years ago I was traveling on business and as a quirk of fate would have it, I was actually in the teeny town where my great-grandfather was born in the mid-1800s. Just for work, not planned. Weird, no? Checking into the hotel I rang the bell, and a moment later an older man shuffled around from the back and almost gave me a heart attack.

I swear by all that’s holy I thought that my grandfather had risen from the grave.

This man was the spitting image.

Absolutely uncanny.

I must’ve looked like a complete idiot, standing there, my eyes bulging out, trying to say something in German, not sure what.

Then, my brain did the three-finger salute, rebooted, and realized I wasn’t in the Twilight Zone. Opa wasn’t a zombie.

I went ahead and said whatever I needed to say to check-in. But the next couple of days I couldn’t help staring at the dude whenever I was in the hotel. It was damn bizarre. Whatever genes we have, they are pretty strong in that town.

But, touristic-wise, Stuttgart is nothing special. There’s the Porsche museum and HQ. (Big yawn, sorry, not that kind of car guy.) Ludwigsburg is nearby, with a scattering of other castles and ruins, but in Germany, saying there are castles around is like saying ‘they have grass there’.

Note: There are over 10,000 Schloesser or ruins of castles in Germany.

The town museum is fine, and I once visited a tiny cellar dedicated to the memory of a personal hero of mine from the area: Colonel Claus von Stauffenberg, one of the German masterminds who almost succeeded in assassinating Hitler at Wolfsschanze (Wolf’s Lair). The evil b*ast*rd got lucky and escaped, unluckily (for us) shielded from the blast by the heavy table the generals were working around.

BTW, I know that was a totally gratuitous use of my rudimentary German, but I love the sound of it. Wolfsschanze.

Basically, If I didn’t have other business in the city, I would never have made Stuttgart a vacation stop.

Which would have been my mistake.

The Weihnachtsmarkt is fantastic.

They know how to do it right.

Their main square is not as picturesque as most German Marktplatz — the Allies bombed the holy bejesus out of the town in WWII, barely leaving one pebble stacked on top of the other. But unlike some other cities, the Stuttgarters took the opportunity to modernize many things instead of rebuilding everything in the old style, so it’s mostly just… a city. Not like the Munich City Hall (Rathaus) and Glockenspiel on the Marienplatz, which they rebuilt practically stone-for-stone.

But for the Christmas Market, they fill the Stuttgart Schlossplatz with lovely wooden stalls and really go all out in the decorations.

There are greater-than-life-size Christmas Pyramids where you can set inside and order a Gluehwein, beer, or tea (assuming you can find a place, which I’ll not lie — is tough. Super busy.)

There was a little train for the tiny ones, mini Ferris Wheels (RiesenRad) also for the Kinder, toys, games, food, gifts, and even a location of that classic German business, O’Donnell Moonshine.

Note: despite their brazen marketing, O’Donnell moonshine, made in Berlin(!), is actually just 40 proof Schnapps — very, very good Schnapps. I suggest the Kirsch (cherry) and the Toffee.

The Schloss, or ‘Castle’, is in the center of the town. The old medieval walls were torn down centuries ago to make way for the former King’s Baroque palace and is now full of government offices. Nothing really to see there — another big building with the same delusions of Versailles all the royalty of the time constructed out of the raw material of their massive French inferiority complexes.

While the main Platz across from the ‘castle’ is filled with booths, the Weihnachtsmarkt also has another big entrance located next to the city museum.

The city’s market really seems to spread in an uncharacteristically haphazard, un-German fashion all throughout the Altstadt.

It’s great for wandering, and the Subway/UBahn has several stops which drop you off right in the middle of the action and are clearly labeled for us tourists. It wanders into the main shopping street where you can probably find any kind of electronic goods or clothing your heart could desire, if you’re a shopper. My wife and I aren’t really, but if that’s your thing…

While I always try to speak German (despite the pained expressions of those trying to understand me), as the ‘City of Foreigners’ — a designation the town has boasted for a century or more — English is spoken pretty much everywhere.

No worries if you don’t sprechen the Deutsch.

We had a fantastic Thai meal in a ‘little Asia’ bar/restaurant district filled Thai/Sushi/Chinese venues. The next night we ate at a typical wood-paneled regional Swabian hotspot that served local specialties such as hausgemacht Maultaschen — basically homemade German ravioli. And, of course, their own brew of beer.

Note: ‘Swabia’ is the name for the region more or less corresponding to the former Duchy of Wuerttemberg, and the name dates back to the times the Swabians were battling the Romans for control of the wooded wilds of southern Germany.

Every decent Schwäbisch restaurant has their own special recipe. You can find spinach, sausage, hamburger, mushrooms, and for all I know, ham-and-pineapple fillings. There is Maultaschen alone, on kraut, in broth, chopped or whole in soup, sliced and fried. Probably make them into Christmas ornaments, too. To be honest, I’m not a huge fan, but I’ve never had one that was bad.

We stayed in an Adina studio apartment. My first time in one of their properties, but after this stay, I’ll give another of their apartments a try (it’s a chain). Our room seemed quite new, was spotlessly clean, and had everything we needed, including an adorable mini-clothes-washer-dryer that worked amazingly well for being hardly bigger than a microwave.

The staff was helpful, breakfast was better than average German fare (with bacon — love me some fried pork belly), and it was a five-minute walk on a clean, unbusy street to the Hauptbahnhof / main train station. Very quiet and unimprovably convenient. Probably the best value of our trip — while our Vienna apartment was bigger and even closer to their Hauptbahnhof, the Viennese place lacked a washing machine, so it’s Adina in Stuttgart for the win.

All in all…

Takeaway

Stuttgart Weihnachtsmarkt: 9.9 out of 10.

I really couldn’t ask for much more.

I had better Gluehwein and Beerenpunsch at my old-favorite spots in Vienna, but Stuttgart’s was very good.

The food — excellent.

The booths — as good as the best anywhere else (including the famous Dresden market), with a good variety of interesting things to buy or simply gawk at — and not all food, as some of these are. While I think Nuremberg still sets the standard for selection, Stuttgart was great.

They also took care of the kids with plenty for them to do, and the town is easy to get around. During business convention weeks it can get a bit expensive, but generally, Stuttgart is pretty cost-effective. Nothing like the vastly overpriced, under-serviced three and ‘four-star’ (ha!) hotels in America’s big cities.

Important Note for First Time Germanophiles— you will be surprised at how cheap travel is in Germany and Austria, compared to the US.

I don’t mean mind-bogglingly cheap like Prague was right after the Wall fell, or crappy leather goods bought on a weekend in Tijuana cheap — but inexpensive for the quality you get.

For example, we averaged around $150 a night for the apartments we stayed in on our trip — including tax, and with no bullsh*t VRBO $300 cleaning fee. Every place was clean, and some (like the Adina) even included a good breakfast. We probably averaged $50–70 total per two-person meal in nice, sit-down restaurants with salads or appetizers, drinks, and/or dessert. Our most expensive meal was probably still less than $100 with all of the above, including tips.

The street food is a fraction of that.

Try eating at a nice place in New York or Chicago for $25–30 total a person! And compared to the prices in the Zurich Hauptbahnhof Burger King which cost about $20 for a single meal — not that we ate there, but as a comparison —Germany is generally value-conscious.

I understand a few thousand dollars is still a lot, especially for you younger people. For much of my life, spending that much for travel would have been more or less as possible as buying a fleet of Boeing 777s. But as an older (still working!) person it’s not an insurmountable amount. Especially as it’s my business.

For example, my sister-in-law took her kids to Disney World for four days. It cost her $8000. I think she said they averaged three or four rides a day, or roughly $500 per two-minute ‘wheeee’. Honestly, to me, that borders on the criminal.

My wife and I scooted through Germany, Austria, and Switzerland for two weeks, doing business and having fun. We ate well, bought her weight in souvenirs and Christmas gifts (admittedly, she’s tiny), and traveled first class by train (Eurail), for way less than her sister’s Disney vacay total.

Really, a relative bargain.

And the Stuttgart Weihnacht market was the most memorable of those we saw.

TLDR;

Again, Stuttgart Christmas Market == 9.9 out of 10.