SATIRE
Study Confirms Nose Holes Connect to Lungs
Below-the-nose mask wearers shocked by science
In a groundbreaking study conducted by ‘Scientists Doing Science’ the connection between nasal passages and lung tissue was proven conclusively. Folks half-assing compliance with mask mandates throughout the nation have been wearing their face coverings at half-mast. They argued it wasn’t necessary to include their noses as long as their mouths were covered. This new study has proven them wrong without a shadow of a doubt.
Scientific details, in terms most non-scientists can comprehend
When we exhale air passes through both nostrils, sometimes with alarming force — such as during a sneeze. This air contains particles of who-knows-what and can be inhaled by any person in our vicinity. Keeping a distance of at least six feet is helpful. I prefer to be sixty feet away from half-mast-maskers.
When we inhale our nostrils suck in air similar to vacuum hoses. During this process the exhaled air from persons around us can enter our nose. From our nostrils it travels all the way down to our lungs. Amazing, right?! I’m so glad I was able to read and understand this newfound knowledge. Thank you, scientists.
Using this new information to protect ourselves and others
Being a long-nosed person with a tiny head and petite cheek bones, I fully understand the challenges of finding masks that fit well. My nose grows about 0.0003 mm per month so I had to choose adjustable masks to account for that. I tried at least a dozen styles and sizes.
It was worse than shopping for jeans that gap here or squeeze there and generally fit horribly. But I rose to the challenge and achieved success. Now I have two favorite masks and a few spares. Whatever your face shape, nose length, or noggin size — there is a mask for you.
Key take-aways
- All three face holes suck air in — to your lungs — and poof air out, into the environment for strangers to suck into their lungs
- Try on masks until you find one that securely covers your nose and mouth, regardless of how much your nose resembles Pinocchio’s
- Protect yourself and others by becoming a masked hero — the life you save may be your own, or it may be my Granny’s
Learn more in this Pandemic Pulse News Network report featuring an interview with the leading researcher at Scientists Doing Science
Please select ‘Watch on YouTube’ at the lower left for ideal viewing.
